The Ultimate Vampire Resource and Directory

What is wrong with me?! Why am I so sad? Am I lost in a fantasy like some have said? Sanity is leaving me slowly. I cant feel as my emotions go haywire, things are not clear, all I feel is empty and stupid. Life is in vain. We all live to die. I cant take this. I wish I could just escape. I wish I could run to the sweetness of death but I am stuck running to insanity, the last place I can hide from the pain and the hate and the infinite love that makes me shake with fear. My demons fear me because I am no longer rational. My mind is going and I cant stop it....What can I do? I wait for her. I wait for her like nothing else. I dont care if I die, I dont care if all around me is destroyed, if I can see her....it wont matter. If I shoot up, and OD by accidendant, it wont matter, she matters too much, I have no clue what I'm typing. I dont care, everything is fuzzy, everything is too jumble to make since of it. I'll probably look at this tomorrow and wonder what I was thinking.....I hope so....

Please be swift. Please be painful. Let me feel every second of it. Let my last breath be a whisper of that sweet name from so long ago. Let my life flash before my eyes so that I may see the desruction i caused and the hurts i have suffered one last time. Please, i beg you, let it be agonizing until i cannot contain my pain in my screams. Let my pain flow out into the whole earth. If it be true when at death, a person is in a rage, that a curse is left, then a curse worse than the seven plagues of egypt, worse the the war in heaven, will be left upon this rotting thing called the earth. Please come and come quickly, for I no longer care to be. My goal was just to be and now even that goal is gone. Everything has been taken from me. Just please hurry, death. For I wait and long for you. You are my last love. My end. My death.

I hate. Simple as that. I hate. I hate everything and everyone. For a time I was tamed but when a tamer turns, they lose what they had forever. I hate everything. Murder is on my mind. Murder of a woman. Murder of a man. Though this is not going to happen, murder is on my mind. Murder because I hate. I hate and there is nothing left. I feel the beast rising inside. I feel the demon stirring. I feel the pain and the rage. I know now that I will be the victim of execution because I have lost what I need. I have been handed an empty plate one more time. And murder is in my minds eye. Death. I wish for death. I wish for other people's death. I wish for blood. Death and destruction. When all is said and done, I will be no more. Let that stain of blood be on the one who I cared about. The one who I knew for so much more than the end I saw. Hate. Simple as that. Hate and murder are on my mind.