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This week has been bad real bad. I wont go into too much detain as i believe some things should be kept privately and it shall.

This Monday i had a phone call basically telling me my father had slipped into a coma over the weekend. His progressing from the stroke he had had the week before was too much for him.

So i had been given the heads up from a relative to let me know that the consultant didnt see my father surviving for much longer less than a week.

He passed away Tuesday evening. It has been very difficult for me to express emotions about a man i was estranged from since 2006.

Im still not sure at times what i should feel or if what i am feeling at times are wrong or right. The anger is most certainly there and the hurt is just as strong.

He isolated himself not just from my siblings but from his siblings as well. Yet has left a lot of people very hurt and angry. I hope in time that i can look back on fonder memories.......i like to have hope to that part at least.

Given where he died although i am the closest in distance wise i was next of kin and so it has been left to my Uncles to handle the funeral.

I personally can not attend it given the severity of my youngests sons disability and it has been made aware to all family members about my choice.

Im not sure if i would have attended his funeral if it had been closer to me given our lack of communication....but the options and choices have been made and there is nothing else for me to do aside for to wait for the chapter to close.

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Kry
23:36 Oct 16 2014

-hugs you-

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This week has had its good news as well as its bad news.



On Tuesday there I went to physio and the lady is pleased with my progress and in six weeks time she is intending to sign me off. So fingers crossed that is what happens.

Yesterday was not so good at all from the moment I woke up. Got one son off to school and was just sitting down after handling my other son when the phone rang. It was from a relative I don't speak to and without going into to much detail it was about my father. He had went into hospital on the Monday to have a procedure for an enlarged heart valve. The surgery had by accounts gone very well. But on the Tuesday he had had a stroke. He was in ICU but has been moved out of the danger list and is now on the therapy ward. He cant speak and is paralyzed down the left hand side.

If nothing it is a wake up call to me that although he may not want his family around him there are still changes that I can make to limit the chances of that happening to me.

Im not for certain what the plans will be for his future recover and there after that but I have asked a family member to keep me updated. I don't wish to be the one to trigger another stroke and so I shall stay out of the way.

Today was a better start than yesterday for certain. Both boys in school and I got to have a meet up with my youngest sons school teachers to see which direction they intend to head in after the holidays. They are pleased with his progress that he has made and are encouraging him the direction he is heading but at his own pace. It is a complete difference to what the teachers were saying last year.

So I am hoping that tomorrow ends on some good news before the boys break off for half term. It has fast approached so quickly since they returned back to school after the summer holidays had ended. But I am ready for these two weeks I think.....

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TaintedPoison
14:21 Oct 09 2014

Sorry to hear about your Dad. I hope and pray for the best recovery. Glad other things are starting to look up.

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