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Im in a state of being very very depressed... My husband isnt home to see what this whole war is doing to me.. He knows its stressing me out more than him.. But he doesnt know to what extent.. I dont Eat I hardly sleep.. Im a hallow shell of what I used to be... Carefree Loving life..



Now Im hearing things at night evil laughs... I cry holding my head or my pillow wishing he was there to help me but hes not.. Im slowly slipping into a state of depression that Im never going to get out of.. I tried drs I tried medication, which i did overdose on.. Scary right? I dont care anymore... The only thing that stopped me Was my kids... They are my anchor right now.. But the one I need most right now is my husband he isnt here and neither is a very close friend who has helped me through some of it.... I started to call him but I froze I couldnt...



I look diffrent... My weight has dropped severely... My husband isnt going to like when he gets back.. And to think Next year its just going to happen all over again... but this time worse all cause he wont be home for a year... What am I going to do...



Why cant I give it up... but I will shield my heart as best I can... until he returns and maybe just maybe I can live again but for now I will be the

Shell of my past happy self...