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I cried yesterday in a long time it seems. My Beloved went to bed last night at about 6pm, I held him for most of the evening. Holding him tightly I wept silently on his shirt, praying to the Gods to be kind to us.



The events of Dee's father hit finally, I wept for her as well. I know too well what she must have gone through, while sharp memories of my mother and fathers funeral ran through my mind, as I hold my ill Beloved tightly.



Still can't believe I threw a ball not more than 9 weeks after my fathers death. As I stood on the stage as the deaths angel statue, I prayed silently to him and my mother. May they both find peace with each other finally.



Beloved had finally drilled it into my head maybe we should wait a year, being everything is happening right now. Dee's dad, Brianne blessed with a baby, Beloved is ill until we figure out what it is, and my expenses are almost taken care of finally, one more big push. Sometimes I hate it when he's right. *sigh.



So I weep for my friends, I weep for my Beloveds health, I weep for not keeping my promise to new friends of throwing Nocturne this year, cause I certainly won't weep for myself.

My most dearest Beloved is sick. Not just "I have a cold sick" but it's been getting gradually worse. He's gotten blood done and more tests will be on the way. I'm worried, admittedly.



Right now all plans for Nocturne or any other activity is completely on hold until I know my Beloved is alright. Nikki, my best friend asked and I told her, she completely understands and wants to know how things are, I am grateful, truly.



In truth, I've confided to him, that of all the worries we have in our normal business of day to day the only project that seems paramount in my heart is getting my divorce so we can finally be together. Pressing? Worried? Yes on both. Blessedly he understands.



The best I pray for is a blood infection or something, the worse needn't even be thought of. May the Fates be kind to us, we've only just found each other it seems.