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So, I need to do live changing shit and its frusterating me. Like put out applications and decide what town I am going to work in and do what's right in my eyes, somedays i wish someone was here to hold my hand, I'm just so used to going through things with a hand holder, that's how my mom raised me, it sucks ass, so i need to start doing this shit, work is out for the summer on june 17th, its coming up real quick, put in an application for my medicade so i can keep going to therapy, though i'm sure i'd be ok without it, they still think I'm taking my medication when I haven't been taking it for almost a year now. idk what to do! Ugh! Get a full time job and think about moving out or two part time jobs, or get a part time job at stoney creek and go to college asap like my dad wants, but what 20 year old does as her parents tell her, I mean come on.lol.

Anyways, my bf says i can move in with him soon, but idk, is that right after only dating 6 months? He's 7 years older than me, and idk he does hardcore drugs that i wont do, but wont stop him from doing.

idk what to do, but i have to act fast or I'm never going to get very far. Its bugging me so fucking bad. Yup, got that out. :)

I am looking for a place of my own.

A place to call my home

A place I can be myself forever.

I wanna be able to speak my mind.

Not be afraid to look inside.

Is there such place as my own.



Because here, I stand, keeping peace without my thoughts in hand.

I do as I’m told, waist my time, and keep going the way, not my own.



When can I decide things, for myself. Say what I believe, without it being a test.

I have offered to pay my way, when can I come and go. I am as respectful as I know how to be.

I don’t say a word when I’m angry. I don’t tell you when I’m upset with you. How can I do this without creating chaos?



That’s why I’m looking for a place of my own.

A place I can call my home

A place I can be myself forever.

I wanna be able to speak my mind, not be afraid to look inside.

Is there such a place as my own.



To look out and see the sunrise, and not distress, or cry.

To know my things still are mine, to know your demands are choices instead of requirements to live.

To stretch out on my own bed, and know that my heart still belongs to me.

To know that I am still me…



I am afraid of simple words, words that control my fait, but it is your words that crash my state of mind.

I wish I could make things simpler and still have confidence and no more fear.



So I continue to look for a place of my own.

A place I can call my home.

A place I can be myself forever.

I wanna be able to speak my mind. As long as I stay here I can never grow stronger.

Is there such a place as my home.