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that is it im done, finished I warned you the last time what would happen if you did it again and clearly you didn't care enough to listen I have no sympathy anymore ive gone past the point off being able to care anymore its just to much and worst of all its just selfish of you to expect me to keep worrying and stressing and trying to get you to understand how I feel how they must feel im sick to death of feeling bad because im not there more im tired of not being able to talk to you like any daughter would there mother because their is only ever one side and most off all im tired of waiting for you to act like one, I have my own family now my beautiful son my amazing partner and my strong loving and just as worried as me siblings. Ive always taken on so much ive always tried to stay as strong as I could so you wouldn't fall apart I held so much back so much for fear of ever hurting you I tried to protect you I always chose your side when you needed me most I rushed to your side how is it fair that the relationship we have has always left me feeling like the parent how is it fair that even after everything you still put yourself first do you even understand the amount of shit the four of us have put up with and been through and we always stood by your side yes I don't doubt that if you read this you'll either hate me or never talk to me hell ill more than likely get abuse for this but you don't listen anymore so I give up trying this small paragraph is just a tiny part of the emotion I harbour. I never claimed to be an angel I know I made life difficult but I grew up I bettered myself you are still stuck in the past. this will be hard for most to understand but I needed to get this off my chest im driving myself crazy going over it and over it again. You promised me you swore you wouldn't be so stupid and even after everything is said ill be the bad guy. If its a daughter you want you know where I live but as far as im concerned the mum I loved and respected died a long time ago and im tired of lying to myself waiting for you to take a step back and realize that theres more important people and things in your life than you.

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RyuNoctemAeternus
13:22 Nov 18 2017

hugs

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