The Ultimate Vampire Resource and Directory

18:30 Jul 29 2011
Times Read: 599

It is starting to sink in, that if Washington doesn't stop its in fighting and make a decision about the budget soon, I will not be getting paid this month.



I depend on the measly $876 I get every month, from Social Security Disability. It pays my bills, medication and Food for the house. Josh already takes care of most everything else (Mortgage, utilities and cell phone), so this will be a major strain on him. Due to Josh making too much, we wouldn't be eligible for food stamps either. As much as I am worried about me, I know I have avenues, such as asking my grandfather for help, but it will be an extreme to make me ask him.



As much as I am worried about myself though, I worry about the elderly that depend on their social security for medications and food. We already have a problem with elderly buying cat food because its cheaper than people food. I fear that we will find elderly starving, or even dead, due to the incompetence of Washington.



Don't they realize that every time, you dip into Social Security, its the same as stealing from our savings account. We worked for that money, it was taken out of our paychecks, both SS and Disability, for retirement or an accident. To tell them American people, that you won't be getting a check this month, because you don't want to take a pay cut, or do something a bit different, is bullshit.



If I find out my representative voted to not pay me, that they continued to drag this out, causing me to worry not only about myself, but others, well I will be camping out on this front lawn. I want them to see, that because they couldn't get their act together, people are suffering, while they still live in mansions with servants and food.



*sigh* I have enough meat for a month, I need to make a list of the absolute necessary items.

I can only hope it doesn't come to this.

19:15 Jul 20 2011
Times Read: 612

After being up 16 hours, flying from Fort Meyers to Chicago, I had a 4 hour layover in Chicago. Then it was Chicago to Portland, Oregon. By the time I landed, I was tired, my back and legs were spasming and I just wasn't in the best of moods. I attempted to call Josh once I got off the plane since we were early, no answer. I went to the bathroom and then tried to call him again, leaving him a message.



As I'm walking slowly to the baggage claim, I am looking at my feet and only glancing up every once in awhile, as I was severely off balance and hurting. I hear from behind me, "Excuse me Mademoiselle" In a french accent. I turned and the first thing I see is a dozen red roses. Following the hand that was holding them, I looked up into Josh's eyes. Sorry girls, I can't explain to you, the look in his eyes, so full of love, that your heart just bursts.



He then cupped my face with his hands and leaned down to kiss me, first a peck and it eventually moved into the full blown romance book kiss. His hands moved from my face to my hair, as we clung to each other. We stayed like that for several minutes and when he released me, I immediately had to grab onto him, as I was suddenly dizzy from the kiss.



We walked down and got my bags and made it home. He kept running off the the bedroom and then coming back. Anytime I made a move towards the bedroom, he blocked me. I gave him one of his presents, Hot Dog Rolls from Chicago, with the poppy seeds. He smiled, put them in the refrigerator. I started moving toward one of my bags, telling him he had other presents and he stopped me, by taking my hand. "I want to unwrap my main present."



He gently led me down the hallway to the bedroom and opened it up. The bed was clear of the comforter and the room smelled like Lavender. He had lit some incense. As I stood there, he started kissing me again. I will tell you, this man can kiss. He proceeded to make out with me, as he slowly stripped me of my clothes. I returned the favor but instead of turning towards the bed, he turned me towards the bathroom.



He took the time, to put me in the shower, wash my hair, condition it and then to clean me from head to toe. I didn't have to do anything, just to sit there and enjoy it. We got out and he dried me off and then grabbed another towel for himself. After drying himself, he laid one towel on the bed, then grabbed the other towel from me, doing the same with it.



After being pushed back onto the bed, I will just tell you, that damn did he prove that he missed me. At least 4 times. *Smile* This was my welcome home. I have got to go away more often!!!



Tomorrow is my birthday and he has told me that I have to be ready at 7:30 in the morning and today I am only to rest. No cleaning just rest and recover today. I'm not sure he can top my home coming, but I'm sure he will try.

22:03 Jul 14 2011
Times Read: 634

Fixing coding so leaving messages will be easier. Sorry about that.

14:23 Jul 14 2011
Times Read: 659






I need some advice and reassurance. Most of you know that I am down in Florida, taking care of my parents and grandparents. Mom is out of the hospital, still a bit weak but recovering. My dad is another story.



Dad went in about a week ago, for a Lung Biospy. They went in under his shoulder blade, spread his ribs and then took part of his lung, pleura (sac around the lung) and lymph nodes. He has a 6 inch incision and another smaller incision where the chest tube was. He spent 2 days in ICU and was then moved to a room. He was given the ability to medicate himself with morphine when the pain got bad. When he wasn't oriented and had trouble swallowing, they took him off the morphine and put him on Oxycodone. Two pills, every 6 hours.



When I went to get him, he was different. He was irratable, major mood changes, confused, confrontational and belliegerent. He accused me of making medical decisions for him, when all I did was make sure I understood the doctors instructions. He was up, pacing like a caged animal. Yelling, angry. They gave him two more pills before we left.



We got home about 7pm and he was put to bed, at 12:30pm, he was dressed and walking out of the gargage to the car, because he needed more oxycodone. Not sure where he thought he was going to get it, but he was determined. My mother put him to bed, with 3 Tylenol. He fell asleep like a baby. That made me wonder, if he wasn't psychologically addicted to Oxycodone and didn't really need it physically. I checked for the side effects of Oxycodone and everything I listed above, was on the list.



He insisted, begged and pleaded with my Mom to get the pills. She agreed to get them, but insisted on keeping them herself and doling those out to him, so he didn't take too much. Her and I went grocery shopping and she left one pill for him. Apparently, he immediately took it. When we came home, he was up and ranting and almost violent in wanting his way about things. When it came to dinner time, he was so rude to me, I was ready to stand up and tell him to fuck off and leave. Anyone close with your family, a 40 year old daughter telling her father that, would not have been a good thing. I knew it was the pills and I sat my Mom down and explained that he might be having a reaction, that he is not handling the pills well. I told her that I love her and my grandparents, but if he continued with his belligerence to me, after all I have done for them, then I would call a taxi and leave now. Anyone who knows me, knows that I said this with tears in my eyes and it broke my heart, that I actually meant it.



Yesterday, she refused to give him pills, told him to stick to Tylenol. When he started whining and begging, she basically went off on him, told him how he was treating all of us and that she was so angry at him, she didn't want to see him. Basically grounding him to his room, while the family was around. We talked to his GP and they said that he was given too much of the Oxycodone and he is going through the withdrawl of not only that, but the Morphine and Asethesia. The doc agreed, he wasn't dealing well with it. But he refused to prescribe anything else for him.



We had fights about whether he had stitches and whether he was in the ICU. He insisted he had neither and was fighting going in to see the doctors. He was on the phone and started the conversation with the nurse at the doctor's office with, "I don't know why the hell I have to see him, but I am told I have to call." I heard this and immediately went and got my mother. She took over the call, thus began the fight about stitches and whether or not he had them. Next she made the other phone calls and while she was on the phone, he was raging about directions, how he didn't need to see anyone, he just needed his pills.



This morning, he was calmer, not aggitated, but in obvious pain. I truly felt bad for him and hope that Mom can convince the Pulmonary Doc to give him some other pain med. I hate to see him in pain, but I hated to see him so out of control and angry. He insists that he was that way, due to pain. But here he was this morning, in obvious pain and he was oriented to the day, what was going on and he was quiet and subdoed. He insisted that it was the pain, making him be like that, but I felt it wasn't.



I hate that he is in pain and has been in pain for 24 hours, but am I wrong to insist to Mom, to pull the Oxycodone. Knowing how addicting it is, knowing my dad, am I wrong?