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4 entries this month
*sighs*14:52 Dec 27 2006
Times Read: 805
I consider myself a good friend. When I see someone hurting I try to help. When they mention their feelings about someone else, I wait for them to continue. But when another personality comes up and tells me off. I’m like ok…..to verify that this is what they want…I mention it to the first personality….i am blocked. I guess I got my answer.
To the person: Know that I meant no harm and I was just trying to be the friend to you, that you seemed to need. Granted the friendship we started was a tentative one at best, but I enjoyed talking to you. Please take care of yourself. Know I will always be here for you.
SIRE!!!!!!!23:55 Dec 24 2006
Times Read: 814
This actually happen yesterday...i was tickled pink!!!!
Your Status: Sire (Level 28)
You have completed 100% of this level.
Pages Viewed Score: 28 x .30 = 8.4
Time Spent Score: 28 x .50 = 14
Ratings Score: 28 x .10 = 2.8
Posts Score: 28 x .10 = 2.8
Score: 28
Referral Points: 0
Referral Modifier: 1
Mark Bonus: 0%
Mark Modifier: 1
Total Score: 28
Ratings Score: 28 ( 7551 of 11279 or 66.95% )
Sorry If it was misleading03:27 Dec 17 2006
Times Read: 824
I have returned from my jaunt down to the sunny state of Florida. I have been told that my last journal entry is misleading. In the sense, my father had a heart attack and I stopped on my way down to them. Let me explain, just so you don’t believe me a callous being.
I suffer from Multiple Sclerosis and was in the middle of an attack, when my father had his heart attack. Mom was visiting and when she heard of the heart attack, she just shrugged and said “at least he was in the hospital.” She made no move to go to him, she didn’t seem concerned. How is that for callous? Anyways, I finally got it through her head that she needed to go down there. Dad in hospital and my 90 year old grandparents trying to forge for themselves, worried me. I told her it was her or me. One of us would go down there and it was only right that she was the one. After a lot of brow beating and threats, I finally got her on a plane to Florida. At that point, the Cardiologist called me. He explained that Dad was stable and going to be released that same day. He explained that if Dad had been home in bed when this happen, he would have died. But they put in a pacemaker and all was ok.
I spoke to Dad that night and he asked me to come down for a couple weeks to help out. It was just before thanksgiving, my grandparents were driving him nuts and he hoped me being there would relieve some of the stress on him and Mom. He was also worried about Mom having her yearly MS attack and asked me to come. To help him deal with all the medications for the household, to do the shopping and taking my grandparents to their appointments. I agreed and began to plan how to get down there. My Father had one stipulation to me coming down. He didn’t want to see me down there within two days of starting my trip. Since my husband couldn’t make the trip with me, he wanted me to take a 4 days coming down. Find a place to rest for a day or so, before continuing on the drive. He knew I was still in an attack that left me with only partial feeling in my feet and major fatigue. He didn’t want me to come down there and then have another attack, that would make me useless. So he told me to stop, told me to meet some friends, to get rested and relaxed before I walked into the “household from hell.”
This is why I stopped down in Alabama to meet my friends. I was in constant contact with my parents the whole time. As it was, my father had trouble with his pacemaker about a week after I got down there and was sent back into the hospital. So, it was a good thing that I didn’t come down there exhausted. It was a very emotional and stressful time when I finally got there and I appreciated my Dad thinking about my health, knowing that I would be put to the test, once I got down there.
Love you Dad. Thank you for making me feel wanted and useful once again. Ask anyone disabled, that was use to working. You get depressed with low self esteem because you don’t feel productive. It is explained to me that this is the first part of dealing with being permanently disabled. The depression, then you figure out how to live with it, how to be productive with it. Well I’m still looking for the productive side of things.
And how was your week?17:17 Dec 14 2006
Times Read: 844
As I try to get the multiple knives from my back, I can't get them out fast enough as I find out more betrayal by a so called close friend. The one that swore to protect me, turned out was the one that cause any and all heartache for me in VR.
Add in family troubles....
Add in I just took my dog Harley (yellow lab in portfolio) to the Vet because her leg was swollen. The doctor just looked me right in the eye and said its Cancer. You are going to have to decide on whether to take her leg, or put her down.
I'm not strong enough for all of this right now.
Merry fucking xmas to me.
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COMMENTS
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shadowofmystry
00:30 May 14 2008
wow some people are confusing