The Ultimate Vampire Resource and Directory

I hope your day is going better than yesterday. Mine: blah. I just got a new computer with Windows 8 about a month ago. I’m still trying to learn to navigate my everyday computer use. HTML? That is a language that is foreign to me. The Baroness Greycastle has been just letting me “explore” and find out on my own how to do things where the VR site is concerned. Last night I had my profile edited and was so tired, I fell asleep with my laptop on my lap.



My computer seems to take on a life of its own. I’ll be happy to share a more detailed story of my life (but I didn’t want to drop a book on you). I don’t have a lot of patience where learning the computer is concerned. I tend to hit a button several times trying to get it to respond once. Then things happen that I do not intend to happen.



I lost all knowledge of being able to type, write and talk after my stroke. My empathic abilities between myself and my soul mate/Sire were all I had at that time. It took me a long time to be able to type or write again. As I said earlier, I am not the most patient person in the world and computers frustrate me the most; especially Windows 8, which I’m still trying to learn.



When I did have my stroke, a year and a half ago, it took a lot away from me. At first, it took my speech, my ability to write, my ability to type and a lifetime of vocabulary knowledge that I still have not fully rebuilt. It seemed that the only thing I had left were my empathic abilities and, without the right person to translate those feelings for me, I still couldn't communicate. Slowly, I regained my powers of speech, writing and typing. The vocabulary and writing styles that I enjoyed are different, but I think I'm doing well on those fronts.



I will always remember the day that I was laying in my hospital bed in the ICU and my partner/Sire walked in the room. It was like we could talk without saying a word to each other. I suddenly had my Will to live back again. I hadn't seen her in weeks, though I'd needed her desperately, because of my family, who do not approve of her or any of my lifestyle choices. They know nothing of my Nightside, my life here on VR or anything else supernatural at all.



What I remember the most when my partner walked in the room was, first, the total joy and relief and I felt that she was finally with me. But beyond that, once I realized that she and only she could understand me, I felt thrilled and amazed. That feeling has stayed with me to this day, whenever I look back at that time in my life. It was the beginning of a new chapter for me because it was in that moment that I seemed to be re-Awakened.



I had always felt the draw of the Night in my life and my Sire had been working hard with me to teach me how to use what latent abilities I had at the time. But after she re-joined me post-stroke, it was as though some invisible doorway to the supernatural had been opened in me. Maybe this is because it was only my empathy that seemed to still work in me at the time. But everything else seemed to build off of that starting point.



Once I got home and was with my partner/Sire full time again, we started working on my abilities from scratch. Only this time, everything came to me so much more quickly than before. Concepts that she had tried to teach me and which I had really struggled to get a grip on, then came to me in ways that I somehow finally understood.



Sometimes the empathy is overpowering, even today. Shields are great but, sometimes, shielding yourself *from* yourself is not so easy to do. But that is what I am working on with my Sire right now. I think that I have come a very long way in a relatively short amount of time and I look forward to seeing where else this road will take me in the days and years to come.

It seems very strange to me, and to my partner/Sire, that I had already been Awakened once before, and then a very Dayside event occurred which catapulted me into a RE-awakening.



It was May 27th, 2011. I went to the hospital, for the second time, with a headache beyond any I could even describe to you. The week before, I had gone into the hospital and told the doctor that what I was experiencing was NOT a normal migraine headache. It was very different from any headache I had ever experienced, even since the time of my teenage years, when my migraine headaches first started. The doctor did a CAT scan and came back to tell me that they were going to have to airlift me to a larger, better equipped hospital because I had a brain bleed that they simply could not treat properly at the small hospital in my town.



I was on the verge of panic. My partner/Sire, BaronessGreycastle, was with me when the news came. She comforted me and told me everything would be alright. She stayed with me as I made the necessary calls to my family, who do NOT approve of her in my life. Before I knew it, I found myself being flown to another town where, because of my family's impending arrival there, my partner could not follow me.



Once I got there, my memory fails me. The next thing I remember was waking up with my parents and sister in the room, with me not being able to speak, write or type. This in and of itself was beyond frightening for me as I-am-a-TALKER, as I'm sure you can tell by now. I recognized everyone around me, I just couldn't communicate with anyone. I found I had tubes in my neck and I instinctively tried to pull them out. My family got my nurse and my mother tried to tell me not to pull on the tubes. I tried to talk, but I couldn't speak.



My inability to communicate lasted for around two weeks. My sister helped me get in touch with my partner, despite my family's feelings about her. As soon as BaronessGreycastle heard news about me, she made arrangements to come and see me right away. I don't think that she and I would have been able to communicate at all had it not been for the intense strength of our empathic bond with one another. This was kind of the start of my re-awakening. It was almost like my supernatural senses were kicking in to compensate for the temporary loss of my mundane senses.



It has taken me all this time to realize that this moment was the true beginning of my re-awakening.



Before my stroke, magick was hard for me to do, even though I had a perpetual curiosity about it all of my life. It was hard for me to stay focused long enough to do anything with magick, even the simplest of things, like shielding. After my stroke, I think my empathic abilities became so much stronger that sometimes, they almost hurt, and to the point that I wanted to stay closed up in my house, bottled up like a genie, for lack of a better term.



Over time, I started to notice that changes in me had occurred. As I worked to rehabilitate my body, suddenly, all things supernatural for which I had ever shown an aptitude, began to nearly take on lives of their own. Shielding became my go-to ability and was the power that came to me the easiest in those early days of physical recovery. It has remained my most easily accessed power and has grown quite strong these days; but I have had to practice on it continually until I have reached a certain level of mastery in controlling this ability of mine.



Now, I can not only shield myself, but I can extend my shields to encompass others, when the need arises. The practice has indeed made "perfect", so that little conscious effort is needed for me to turn those shields on and off. I am grateful for this as I have found that I, and those with me, have been in need of good shielding from time to time. I am glad that I can help when help is needed.



There are other abilities that I have learned to access over this time, but I will write about those later. If you'd like to get to know me better, send me a message. I'm on all the time and I love to talk. So, drop me a line and get to know me!