The Truth with-in17:32 Jan 13 2010
Times Read: 522
Let me start you off to a background of me a bit in order for you to grasp a fuller idea shall I?
Well from the age of 2 I exhibited special abilities like weather manipulation, energy manipulation, Mind warping/control (of which I choose not to use as it is dangerous and damaging to others) and other such talents that I had developed after I discovered them.. abilities that of a psy but of course I had no clue I was Vampire. I would have head aches so bad off and on my entire life and little spells of depression without reason that nothing could truly cure. Not medicine or anything. I knew I was different from anyone else but at the time the closest I could get to what I thought I was, was to attribute myself as a witch. I quickly learned to stay solo in that art as I would be frequently attacked by other witches without reason other then being there. Again I did not understand why that was. I never learned from a book or master per say it was always little things that I had noticed I could do or I would have an idea to try something and poof lo and behold I could do it. So I would practice it, perfect it, unless it was dangerous to myself or others. And thus continued in such a way for 25 years. What I did not know until now is I was not perfecting magic but my own psy abilities as a vampire. I had always a fascination with vampires, The sight of blood or the touch of a neck would send me into a sexual hormone rush. I figured I was just a twisted warped little thing.
I had once related a tale to a friend in an effort to understand myself more a little issue that always bothered me but confused me, I told them thus: "Each sexual encounter I had it always seemed as if I would have more energy then not after sex and my partner would be drained so badly at times, over time of course, that they almost lost the ability to get hard, regardless of what was attempted." They related to me that there was a chance I was a Succubus, Sexual feeder. Well I put that off in my head as a huge ok yea right! But was it true? I had no idea. I had been told once by a coven leader of pagans that I had a power inside of me that was 3 or more times stronger then I was at the current time and even then I was powerful even for a high priestesses standards, She told me this at the age of 18 after she had taken me to meet her coven members to possibly recruit me to teach and such only to have them the very next day attacked me and try to bind me. Of course that did not last long as I had one by one destroyed their powers and unbound myself without even the slightest clue as to how. She said I was different and apologized for her covens actions but tho I had done no wrong I frightened them with that hidden power I had not released.
I even went on later in life to be a Donor. As it seemed I had an ability to attract other Vampires but again without the knowledge of why. I donated to two vampires in my life within my knowledge and consent. Even tho I was claiming witch at the time vampires could no resist me or as they would say that they could not resist my eyes, something about them pulled them to me. Be that true I of course have no idea. One day after serving my second vampire he sent me to a few sites to learn more of vampires in order to understand him better and what he needed to better serve as his donor. As I read things popped out at me that I had gone through but I paid them little mind, once again wrapped in the belief that I was a witch.
A few weeks later speaking to a coven master of vampires that was within a trinity family of the vampire I had served I related this very tale and little instances of what I had gone through and such and those very little details popped out to him and he would relate them back to me in a question form of confirmation. When I had gotten to the part of the sexual encounter he related it back to me in a little different manner and something clicked. All of a sudden an entire realization of my life and what I truly was hit me like a ton of bricks.
I was Vampire! Everything suddenly fit into place like the missing pieces of a puzzle lost were suddenly found. I was awakening fully, finally, complete realization of truth, with that truth came so much pain my head felt like it was going to explode. I had a migraine larger then I had ever had in my life, with it as well came a hunger and a thirst. Being hypoglycemic I was un accustomed to the feeling of hunger as I tend to forget to eat until i shake due to lack of hunger pains. I was confused. in pain, still on the phone with the house master and my energy was going everywhere! In and out all over the place. 3x my normal power level sky rocketed out of me like I had lost all semblance of control. In tears from pain and confusion, crouched on the floor, the house master told me in the most happy of tones.. "You are now complete my dear, welcome to our family"
From there he organized 2 teachers for me within psy to teach me what I needed to control what I was not used to controlling. I had a better grip he said then most due to my being half awakened my entire life and the constant training I had done with myself. But there was and is still allot I need to learn. After finding out how to properly psy feed the hunger still did not go away. It confused me and I didn't understand. They never told me what it was but I had a pretty good idea. I was not psy I was Hybrid. After a week of constant hunger pains feeling weak and sick to my stomach I had my first blood feeding, In fear of harming the person I drank from ( A sang ) I did not take even a portion of what I should have. The hunger eased for 2 days but came back in full force. I was then invited to join that house master in a birthday gathering with his wife and other coven members in northern California.
I went and was welcomed and I was still having depression issues very bad I was seeing conspiracy and betrayal, Hatred and sadness everywhere. I had always had issues with my depression but never like that. They told me it was apart of the awakening and helped me attempt to gather myself. I noticed I was still getting weaker and the depression got worse until one night a familiar brought to the house to be trained for another sang as a Donor offered himself to me as he saw me slumped in a chair curling in pain. I drank from him and took all I needed, Finally... I was no longer hungry, my head was finally clear, my depression was gone, the thoughts of betrayal and conspiracy were gone at last, and I felt so much better.. better then I ever had. He finally got me thinking properly and better then I had in my life. With that came the realization of truth to my theory that was indeed Hybrid.
And thus my dear was my awakening and still I am in training perfecting myself, though now I am in desperate need of a donor. I am no longer among my family house they live up in northern California and as such can not feed me like when I was up there. I am already getting weak and my depression is returning as well as the clouded thoughts. But I learned the steps to my decrease in energy and signs of when I would need to feed again. I refuse to feed without the need to do so like a glutton. I am not a witch as I had always thought and never truly was as I had no formal training as most witches would. My ways of doing things are not the same, in fact very different. I can not cast a true spell, it is sheer force of will and power that I posses as opposed to using the energy around me like witches do. They command the surrounding energy I use my own. In saying that I have thus renounced my formal title and thinking process of being a witch as I am of course not one. However due to various events I have dislocated myself from those covens because as I have found out majority of them are one or more of these: Lier, Faker, Deceitful, or have no concept of reality. Which is fine I was a solitary when I practiced magic and I can be a solitary now. And thus is the reality of me please enjoy ^^
COMMENTS
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TheVampyreNico
07:25 Jan 14 2010
That is quiet a story indeed and thank you sharing this with us.