23:10 Jul 08 2015
Times Read: 1,442
So when I was a Christian I use to study the scriptures on family. When it comes to Priority, Christian Scriptures teaches that the Priority in a family should be as follows:
- God
- Husband & Wife
- Children
Don't take my word for it, here is one of many websites on the topic.
http://www.gotquestions.org/family-priorities.html
The website goes on to say in conclusion, the scriptural order of priorities is God, spouse, children, parents, extended family, brothers and sisters in Christ, and then the rest of the world. While sometimes decisions must be made to focus on one person over another, the goal is to not be neglecting any of our relationships. The biblical balance is allowing God to empower us to meet all of our relationship priorities, inside and outside our families.
However, what I always found interesting is the actual practice of this among both Christians and Non-Christians. Usually people either want to place themselves first or a parent places their child or children first over their spouse. The result is usually a break down in the relationship of the couple or a child who is not use to being priority number 3 becoming bitter. Keeping in mind I'm not talking about Dad buying mom shoes while their child goes barefoot to school. That's just stupid, but that's the sort of image many people play in their head when there is talk about placing an adult before a child. I feel what is meant is when it comes to Parenting that Parents back each other up and are on each other's side where as a child can't play the two against each other in order to get their own way.
I do agree with one person who said that if a single parent has a minor child, they should seriously think about not marrying again until that child reaches the age of adulthood. Why? Because a person entering into a relationship at some point wants to feel they are Priority #1 to the other person if they are Non-Christians and sometimes even that doesn't matter. LOL! Also there may be feelings of resentment from the child thinking that Mom or Dad loves this stranger more than them. Or an
Ex feeling their Ex may be placing their child's needs after the needs of a new GF/BF or Husband/Wife which is a valid concern when one doesn't know the day to day events happenings in someone's else relationship. Example: Little Molly is sad that Mom didn't take her to the beach because Mom chose to spend the weekend with her new Husband at an adult Resort so now Biological Dad is upset. However, what bio-Dad doesn't know is that Mom and new Hubby has spent every weekend having fun with Little Molly minus the weekends when Little Molly was with bio-Dad and during that time one or both of them had to work and it was only this weekend that they both had off so they offered bio-Dad to spend an off scheduled weekend with his daughter without giving him a reason so all bio-Dad knows is that Little Molly is sad and that bio-Mom is having fun with her new Hubby on a weekend that
should be with Little Molly. Drama!
So to clear up any misunderstanding, nobody should come before the "NEEDS" of a child and every desire of a child is not necessarily a "NEED".
I personally don't believe that anyone comes before your child unless you are married to them. Again, I'm not talking about providing Basic Needs For Survival (Food, Clothing, Shelter, etc) to an adult BEFORE a child. More like little Johnny wants McDonald's for dinner, but Dad doesn't feel that's wise and suggests a healthier meal. The priority SHOULD BE on Dad's desire for a healthier meal over little Johnny's desire for McDonald's.
If a potential spouse or an actual spouse sees that they are continuously set as a priority behind a child or a friend, they won't be a potential spouse or actual spouse for much longer OR they will began setting themselves as their own Priority #1 and all others including wifey and child will be an after thought.
So if a person is not ready to set and treat another person they claim to be in-love with as Priority #1 (Non-Christians) or Priority #2 (Christians), then that person may want to stay single.
Because most people will say....
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