Bad luck?? Bad choices? Karma???15:38 Jul 28 2009
Times Read: 669
I sat in my new sun room last night, coffee in hand, smoking my guts out.
I came into some money...well, got money that was owed to me by the government from income tax.....for like 7 yrs!! What to do with it responsibly?? Update my wardrobe?? Go on a well-deserved vacation to an island?? No. The first batch of the money, I bought a car. The second batch? The downpayment on a house. Good and responsible.
I pack up my house and move to another country. So far, here has been my wondrous journey:
1. My computer broke in the move. Won't turn on and off.
2. Husband left for a 10 day festival, leaving me here with the kids and animals in a strange country where I have no idea where anyone or anything is.
3. The transmission went in the car. I have no idea where to take it or even how to call a tow truck (no computer..no phone book...no clue)
4. My daughter's truck, still in Canada at the old house....I have to pick up the husband, his friend and the truck. I get to Canada (dropped off), get in the truck, start to back out of the driveway..and the rotors and brakes give out. Wonderful. A Sunday in Canada with no brakes and no way to get back to the US with 2 other people and all their festival gear (including torches, fuel, a bed of nails, a straight jacket, a puppet stage...don't ask!)
5. Getting a notification from my daughter's bank that her insurance was cancelled and they need new insurance information by...GASP! today!! Privacy laws prevent me from doing it...as does money.
So here I am, today:
I'm in the house with my husband and the twins. My 16 yr old daughter is visiting a friend in Canada until tomorrow when I'm SUPPOSED to be picking her up and bringing her home. Except...my car's transmission is gone and her sister's truck is brakeless and insuranceless in the driveway of the old house. My husband did NOT get paid for the 10 day festival as the checks won't be ready until Thursday and he needs to get back to Canada to pick THAT up. That, of course, was supposed to help pay for the transmission that I need in order to get him over there to pick up the money to pay for it.
As each day goes by, I wonder:
Is my luck simply this bad?
Have I been making horrific choices and these are the repercussions?
Is this karma?? Did I do something that screwed with everyone's lives in a past life and this is the punishment?? Or is this the reverse?? I am learning hardship upon hardship in order to deserve the perfect next life???????
Regardless....I feel the depression starting to settle in. I'm not afraid of it. I wish it would go away long enough for me to see things with a clear eye. Hopelessness isn't that I can't see past the immediate situation. I know that this, too, shall pass. Hoplessness is knowing that as soon as this does pass, another chaotic horror show will soon follow. I guess I need to stop labelling these experiences as "good" or "bad" and just acknowledge that they happen. Perhaps that will help..........
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