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Every year, Fred and Ethel would spend a day at the State Fair. Every year, Fred would say, "Ethel, I'd like to ride in that airplane."



And every year, Ethel would say, "I know, Fred, but that airplane ride cost ten dollars, and ten dollars is ten dollars."



One year, while they were at the fair, Fred said, "Ethel, I'm 74 years old. If I don't have a ride in that airplane this year, I may never get another chance."



"Fred, that airplane ride cost ten dollars, and ten dollars is ten dollars," Ethel replied.



The pilot happened to overhear them and said, "Listen folks, I'll make you a deal. I'll take you both up for a ride. If you can stay quiet for the entire ride and not say a word, I won't charge you anything. But, if you say one word, then you'll have to pay the ten dollars."



Fred and Ethel agreed, so up they went. The pilot did all kinds of rolls and dives, twists and turns, but not a word was heard. He did all his fancy maneuvers again, but still not a word.



When they finally landed, the pilot turned to Fred and said, "Gosh, I did everything I could think of to get you to yell out, and yet you never said a word."



"Well," Fred replied, "I was going to say something when Ethel fell out, but ten dollars is ten dollars."

COMMENTS

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Kaine
01:53 Aug 17 2011

You know in real life Fred really hated Ethel so that makes this all that more funny.

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1. It is important to have a man who helps at home and knows how to cook, clean, and has a job.



2. It is important to have a man that can make you laugh.



3. It is important to have a man that you can trust and wants only you.



4. It is important to have a man who enjoys being with you.



5. It is absolutely vital that these four men don't know each other!!!!!

Two statues are standing in a park, they have been there for years naked staring at eachother. One day God comes down and brings them to life.



"You both may live for 1 hour to do whatever it is you plaese."



The male statue looks at the female one and asks, "Are you thinking what I'm thinking?".

"I sure am.", she replies with a smile.



With that they run off into the trees nearby. 30 minutes pass and they both emerge from the wood sweaty, panting, and laughing.



The male statues looks up and asks, "Want to do it again?".

She looks at him smiles and says, "Sure do, but this time you hold the pidgeons down and I'll shit on 'em!"

COMMENTS

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BlackMetal888
01:15 Aug 10 2011

LOL!!

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r0yaltysfin3st
20:11 Aug 11 2011

lmfaooooo omg i love this!

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There was this guy at a bar, just looking at his drink. He stays like that for half of an hour.



Then, this big trouble-making truck driver steps next to him, takes the drink from the guy, and just drinks it all down. The poor man starts crying. The truck driver says, "Come on man, I was just joking. Here, I'll buy you another drink. I just can't stand to see a man cry."



"No, it's not that. This day is the worst of my life. First, I fall asleep, and I go late to my office. My boss, outrageous, fires me. When I leave the building, to my car, I found out it was stolen. The police said that they can do nothing. I get a cab to return home, and when I leave it, I remember I left my wallet and credit cards there. The cab driver just drives away."



"I go home, and when I get there, I find my wife in bed with the gardener. I leave home, and come to this bar. And just when I was thinking about putting an end to my life, you show up and drink my poison."

COMMENTS

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BlackMetal888
01:16 Aug 10 2011

:)

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Sulks
10:49 Aug 10 2011

Hahahaha!

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r0yaltysfin3st
20:12 Aug 11 2011

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