The Ultimate Vampire Resource and Directory

When does it end? Some days the roller coaster is so crazy, that you just want to stop mid ride and parachute down from the highest point, just to get off. Is it anxiety? Could be, but likely it is you've just had too much. You would rather crawl back into bed and start anew tomorrow.

No one said life would be easy, yet no one told you being an adult would be filled with such downfalls, tragedies and frustrations. Had they, would you have sought to grow up so quickly? Would you have looked to move out at the age of 16? Would you have rebelled so much?

Hindsight is so damn great. By the time you turn 30, you have the foundation to know you made a mistake in growing up too fast, but you are stuck in this crazy thing called life. Now you had to make the best of it. Find a job that paid enough to give you money for your rent, food, vices and well everything.

If you are lucky you can keep that job, and not bounce around. But unfortunately in today's society a job is a revolving door for most people. You come, you stay for a little bit, get some training and experience, and once management changes, you are being pushed right out the door. Right back to the same spot you were in, struggling to survive.

It's a vicious cycle, no matter if you have no highschool degree, a GED or a high school degree or an advance degree. When it comes to living in craziness, we are all riding the same roller coaster. We are all struggling and we are all living in the same nightmare.

When will it end? Great question. In a world with so many challenges, filled with failure at nearly every turn, you must hold on to the achievements and the good times, even if far and few in between, and keep the faith, that it must get better.

Looking to the West and East, I see nothing but the sky for miles and miles, it is endless. Looking to the North and South, all I see is more sky, it is endless too. I am left feeling rather free, free like a bird. Nothing is around me for who knows how many miles or hours. It is desolate, it is powerful and mainly it is absolutely beautiful.

I stretch a little bit more, and take in the power of openness that the country provides me. I wonder when will I see signs of civilization again. I had been on the road for six hours already and hadn’t even passed a gas station or a farm or well shit anything.

It’s a damn good thing I listened to the locals and filled up a gas can with some extra gas. I thought they were joking when they told me I’d be lost in emptiness for the day. Who knew they were being serious?

I left Johnstontown over a week ago, trying to re-establish myself. Re-create myself. I had no clue where I was going to end up, I was going to wait and see, for the right place to pick me. Here I am nine days out and I still haven’t found a new home. With too many miles logged, and closing in on the tail end of Montana, I wonder if I should continue towards Oregon or head South.

Regardless, I know I will find my new home somewhere, at some point. I am in no rush. The ultimate goal is finding somewhere that is comfortable, with good people, big enough to get lost, but small enough to have neighbors who worry about you. Large enough to always have somewhere to go, but small enough that the local bar knows your favorite drink and your name. Where your home is your castle and you are not judged for being different, rather embraced for your uniqueness.
Where will this place be? Perhaps I will head South, maybe somewhere along the Southern border will suit me best? Oh, decisions decisions, ah, does it matter, I am in no rush and have no fire under my ass to require me to hurry up.

My life is in the process of being created all over again, and this time it will be amazing. No, it will be fantastic. Just wait and see.