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In life you must take initiative otherwise nothing will happen. You cannot stay in the shadows of someone else. You cannot pretend to be of value by living vicariously through someone else’s successes.

You must follow your own path, create your own markers. You must learn from others, so you may achieve greatness.

In doing so, you will find out what defines you, what makes you tick, how your inner circle spins.

Taking on your own identity will allow you to achieve success, grandioseness and well being. You will spin brighter than the largest star, the sun.

You’ll earn respect. You’ll amass a following. You’ll become a monarch, so to say.

You’ll feel complete. You’ll still strive to be better. To hone your skill sets, but every day you’ll be satisfied. You’ll stop feeling a black hole in your heart, mind and soul.

You’ll awaken and have repeated moments of clarity. You’ll grow into your skin. You’ll feel on top of the world.

Moral of the story: stop living under the protection of another for that is not living but simple quashing your sense of being and killing you slowly until you no longer exist.

Wow, night and day difference in thought process.

Had a crummy night of sleep, but woke up telling myself to stay positive.

I worked on processing some checks and tracking payments & donations. While updating financial reports and deposit tickets. Thought that I’d never balance the sheet - had forgotten a deposit in my register. Silly me, but it happens. The good news, I was off by that deposit so it was easy to find once I opened my big hazel eyes.

Then I assumed the position on the recliner couch and commenced binge watching Criminal Minds. Always a treat, starting to feel like I’m BFFs with the cast, pretty pitiful.

Wishing I had the mad hacking skills of the character Garcia - something to wish to accomplish. Lol

And here I sit, more chilled, and clear headed. In a much better place. Still sucks to be limited but staying positive has helped me today.

Here’s to better days.

COMMENTS

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LORDMOGY
20:28 Jul 29 2019

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First and foremost, a shout goes to my buddies who are taking my random calls and entertaining me! And reading through my rambling messages, of sheer craziness & providing absolute positiveness & advice! You know who you are & know I love you!

This a hard road for me to travel! I make a horrible patient. I’m not a sit on your ass girl & veg out watching tv. Nope not me, I need at least three things going at one time to keep me amused.

So this stuck in one place, this limited to a section of the house, is killing me! Today was especially hard. It has only been 5 days (5 out of 21).

I basically let the negativity creep in a little too much, to the point I had to really have a long talk with my inner being about how stupid the thoughts were.

Now without mobility - free mobility to go wherever/whenever - I slip into depression. It’s happen before. When I was 24/25, I hit a tree skiing. Was bed ridden for 2 months, needless to say, I went off the deep end.

So I know the warning signs, and now I have to devise a plan of attack to ensure I don’t have a repeat!

My friends & family are helping, which is a plus right now. But I need more, Not sure what to do, suggestions are welcomed, but alas, will need to find some things to interrupt the day.

Scary times, real problems, requiring real help.

In the meantime, I know I must stay strong & positive.

COMMENTS

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LORDMOGY
20:30 Jul 29 2019

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