Kraai's Vampire Journal | The Kitchen Sink

Kraai's Journal

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7 entries this month

← Dec 2019

Feb 2020 →

This is unbelievable
19:21 Jan 29 2020
Times Read: 556

So I was psyched for my talk therapy except she never asked me how I was doing, she said ‘You are dressed so nice and put to get her, there’s no way you can be depressed,

I was so put off that I dipped face down and just didn’t care, decide if the way I’m dressed tells me how I’m feeling, then I need to get my mind sorted.

I left not setting up an appointment and filed a complaint with owner of the board & licensing board.

I walked out there told my mom, I’m never seeing her again. She told me MS depressed is different than bipolar depression! DEPRESSION IS DEPRESSION- Suicide can result especially if the person has a track record, which I do.

And I’m so in the dump, I know the person I want to cuddle with but he’s frontally finishing up his 20 yr sentence & being shipped far away from.

So trying to stay strong and be strong.

COMMENTS

SedeDeSangue
19:49 Jan 29 2020

*hugs* I’m so sorry. That must have felt terrible.

Kraai
20:00 Jan 29 2020

Well one thing I have is strength- I was so put off that taking a butch of pills sounded great but I needed to prove that wrong to me

Depression
00:31 Jan 20 2020
Times Read: 593

I’m walking a fine line between depression & needing an intervention.

I normally ride a little high, extra bounce in my step basically

Now with MS getting out of control, a very costly solution to maybe solve my UTI and being w/o my car, not knowing if it will be totaled or fixed, my world is running around into the depths of hell.

All jokes aside I signed up for 90 day supply meds - so now I’m surrounded by a surplus of pills to play doctor death.

A lot has me going down, things my mom says to me, even if it is meant to be in jest, it doesn’t come across that way - why - bc I’m already down on myself.

I’m limited what I can do, where I can go, & it’s pushing me down.

I really need my therapist appointment tomorrow without a doubt. I’m starting to scare myself.

COMMENTS

Amaranthine
00:37 Jan 20 2020

I'm sorry you're having such a rough time... is there something nice you can do or buy for yourself?

Autumnswhisperingwinds
01:03 Jan 20 2020

I know this might not help but huggles my friend.......

LORDMOGY
04:45 Jan 20 2020

Vampireking777
20:17 Jan 24 2020

Ya I know what it is like I had depression most of my life

Kraai
19:11 Jan 29 2020

Thank you all!

Update
15:30 Jan 17 2020
Times Read: 605

So ... it is a new day, I am whipped ... could just go to bed, but really need to run some errands, still not driving, so got to get my mom to take me out to the bank and post office.

I am starting to be more steady on my feet, but my eye is still giving me grief, and my back pain, forget about it.

MS SUCKS .. but what doesn't kill us .. makes us stronger!

COMMENTS

I’m a MS Warrior
01:05 Jan 17 2020
Times Read: 618

Next step is oral steroids

Let’s see how that goes

Still can talk right

Walking better

I’m hoping for the best.

COMMENTS

I’m the living dead
19:49 Jan 11 2020
Times Read: 643

Most of the time I’m sleeping or resting

I’m making constant mistakes

Bodily functions are not working at all correctly

Driving is dangerous - I’m going blind in my left eye

I thought today was going to be better - nope 4 steps down & im down for the count w/jelly legs. My dog came for the rescue.

I’m resting in bed.

I’m hot, I’m cold.

I’ve had a nasty cold, now feel like a massive truck hit me 3 times

I’m done, researching how create a new body - looks like the black market is my only option... I’m will to go black & hope secret service doesn’t find me.

Living with MS makes you stronger but also a lunatic.