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My weakness for animals is a little troublesome. Everyone I know that has a pet or animal they can't keep anymore tries to give it to me. x.x I want to but I can't darn it! I can't take care of your animals I have enough of my own!

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Isis101
21:35 Dec 30 2014

Are there any good shelters or humane societies that your friends can take their pets too, instead of dumping them on you?

I might also suggest that you tell these friends not to have pets in the future, so there is less drama/trauma all around (especially for the poor animals).

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Kiyuki
02:18 Jan 02 2015

Sadly no. I'm the best person to give them to because I can find owners and places for them to live pretty quick. It's just difficult

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So the groping wasn't too bad.I squeaked a lot but I survived the onslaught. Yay for that. Got lot's of stuff for new years today.

So apparently during the holiday's all of my friend's get a little more perverted...so practically all of them have decided that their present from me is going to be messing with my boobs!



I know they're big but why do you have to torture me for it! T^T I wish they were online friend's and not living here because then I could just say no.



And they're all girls...why can't you be straight!? Or male!? You wouldn't dare grope me if you were straight or male. And why all of you? Why is there only like two of my friend's who want something normal? Why is it just my upperclassmen!? Is it fun to molest me because I'm younger?



When was this decided anyway!? they all decided this in some secret meeting to share molesting me! Why am I soft and squishy T^T I hate you body...your grope able...Dakotah if you read this ignore it!



I'm screwed...I can't escape those damn perverted girls. This Christmas is going to be hell...

I am antisocial ok? I am way shy around people I don't know in real life. It's hard enough talking to people on here without screaming and trying to lock myself in a closet from shyness.



Seriously I have panic attacks just because talking to multiple people is scary.

So Christmas for me is a battle. I have a huge family. So huge I probably have enough relatives to start a small country and I don't even know 10% of them! I think I know maybe .5%. everyone else is so loosely related to me that frankly I don't think they should even count as blood.



But on Christmas all these relatives Ive never met crawl out of the woodwork and I can't leave home without being attacked. I love and hate Christmas...



Why can't you people just give me presents money and food then leave and not show me your face's that I wouldn't recognize if my life depended on it.





T^T...save me from these zombie relatives someone...please...

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RemappingtheHumanSoul
01:20 Dec 23 2014

In the Psychology stand point; "Antisocial" is not the correct word. That would mean you are or exhibit; a persistent pattern or disregard for, and violation of, the rights of others. Such as; lying, cheating, stealing, or manipulating others to get what they want out of life. These people are close to psychopaths.



I don't think those are behavior patterns you are doing or intending for your family, so no. You aren't "Antisocial" simply put just a shy individual that dislikes or sort of likes the holidays, give or take.

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Kiyuki
05:11 Dec 23 2014

um...actually I am a proven psychopath O uO

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I swear the next person to say I'm too young for something is going to find out just how capable I am.

I am not too young to have had multiple sex partners and know my own fetishes. I have both. I have been a Mistress and a Submissive. You think I was like you when you were my age? Ha! My generation is a bunch of horny kids who have access to condoms the internet and sex stores. Are you stupid?

Do you really think any teen would have ignored those?

And for that matter are you dumb enough to think that any adult male who find's a teen girl attractive would not go after her?

When I was still in high school I got asked out by plenty of college guys. And some freaking business men. I would tell them "um...I'm 16" and they'd say "oh that's ok we can just talk and have dinner" (such bull)



I dated older guy's and when I turned 17 I had an entire year of legal sexual practice. I'm in Texas 17 is legal! I put all my sexual knowledge into real life experience. let's just say that by the time it was a week since i started to date a guy they were clingy as hell -_ -.





And maturity level...oh well I am more mature than most people over 30. Based on my experience with people over 30. No matter the age human's are all immature. Even me. Yeah some people are childish and stupid. Not all!



Idiot.



Yeah...someone pissed me off and I felt like writing a rant.I was going to delete it but I kind of like it.



I can see myself flipping a table while yelling all of that XD

I've been in love with fire and all it's aspect's since childhood. I would burn different thing's to see the affect's like a science experiment. I would play with fire like most would a favorite toy. I still do. I've felt since forever that I was a part of the flame's. Like fire was inside me making up every part of me.



It may be weird...but it dance's to me sing's to me laughs and try's to play. Fire is beautiful to me.

This is not made up it really happened and I know I wasn't going crazy because me and some friends saw it together.

We were looking up at the star's one night because it was really clear and just talking. I noticed that a lot of the star's were blinking not just white but red blue and sometimes other color's like orange. I thought it was weird that we could see the lights on satellites from here so I pointed it out. we watched them thinking it was normal. Then one of them moved. not just like a falling star or plane or helicopter. it just kind of lazily moved along until it was a little bit away from where it started.



Then it stopped...we were confused by this for a little so kind of ignored it. But truth be told I think we were really just too freaked.We kept watching the blinking star's and a few minutes later one of them disappeared. But not really...that same not really star appeared somewhere else. We knew it was that star because where it showed up there had been nothing before.



We went inside...too many of my friend's were afraid so I went with them instead of watching like I really wanted. The star's still do that. It wasn't a one time thing or our eye's playing tricks because other people have seen the same type of thing. And I see them every time it's a clear night.



By the way the people who have also seen them are not only alien obsessed people.



Look up. Really look. Oh and if you see any of the blinking stars move please tell me.

you know when your young and fall in love how the adult's around you tell you it's not real? Just hormones or puppy love...well only the adult's who never fell in love when they were young...the one's that did warn you it will hurt. And of course they're right. But why would anyone think that the love you feel isn't real?



It may be chemicals or whatever but it's there. and you feel it,and it hurt's you. making your chest ache. if the person you feel it for hurt's you emotionally you end up feeling it physically too.It's agony. So why would you ever question it? Yes they're young...yes they're hormonal but they still love (hopefully not like romeo and juliet because I don't care what you think that wasn't love that was just idiocy and bad luck)



You feel the love so much it fill's you up...and if you get hurt it start's getting harder to be filled with love (except for me sadly x.x I fall hard,soar with them for a little, and if they make me crash so be it...I got to love someone completely for a while so why be sad?) Love can come to anyone and tear them up be if they're strong they'll just get back up. Sadly not everyone is so strong and some grow to hate love.



I just hope they find someone who will show them it's good again.

I feel like I hate humans. I mean I want to hate them...they do so many awful thing's so I should hate them. But I can't...I've never hated before and I am not sure I know how. My mom told me once that I'm an oxymoron because I am a pure and innocent person that is also brutal and capable of great cruelty to those I judge unworthy of respect.



I think she is wrong...I'm not pure...or innocent. Or at least I don't want to be. I wish I was tainted...I could hate humanity then right? I could hate them for all the thing's they do...all the awful things. But I don't hate them...I cry and wish I could change them instead. But if a humans basic nature is to not care for life they deem beneath them than what can I do? No matter how much I wish to make them see I can't do anything without straight up starting a worldwide revolution.



My mom also told me I would be a great revolutionary. My stubborn nature,killing instinct(I mean that as in when I attack physically or emotionally I aim for the kill),and fighting spirit would apparently make me a great leader O.O.



I'm off track...basically what I am trying to say is...I love almost everyone I meet in some deep part of me...I see who they are and I love the person they hide be it a monster,a angel,or a bit of both.



I love you. Even though I may never touch you hold you,laugh with you,or kiss you. I love you (holy that sounds like something from V for vendetta but I mean it!)

You know that feeling you get when you like someone but are too scared to try and get closer to them? I get that feeling a lot.Not because I like others easily (ok I do) I can't help it. I have this weird ability to see people for who they really are...and a lot of the time who people really are is something much softer than they themselves realize. I love that softness.So when I meet someone who actually knows who and what they are I feel like I want to get close to them. Such a person who doesn't feel like hiding must be special. Someone who can embrace their softness and their hardness...I get drawn to it. But I also get scared. I might not be good enough or beautiful enough.So if I am not good enough and I tell such a person I am attracted to them...I am scared I will lose them.



Before I even get the chance to become part of their lives I will lose them because I am not good enough to keep. I am not exactly afraid of it...I just don't like how it feels to lose someone. I have lost too many people because of my own actions. I hurt them by not loving them enough or I love them and they reject me. I can't risk that with someone I just met even if I already like them.



I will keep silent. I will let my feelings be buried. Until such a time they can be seen.



I'm shocked I'm this eloquent when about to pass out @_@. I wanted to write this down before I forgot about my own feelings. writing it out helps hide them sometimes. Well...goodnight. I hope any who read's this has good dreams or if you prefer good nightmares (I've never had one...so don't know if they can be good or not..I've heard they can be creepy so in my mind that means good.

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Tristesse
11:20 Dec 07 2014

People-reading is pretty much a norm. I don't think it's anything psychical, unless you can get into their heads. However, it's an acquired skill. Good night!

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Dakotah
16:20 Dec 07 2014

Kiyuki, I can relate to this very well. I am sure many reading your post can too. One time in school I had this huge crush on this girl. She was very poplar and beautiful. I was shy back then and was always afraid to talk to her. One day during classes she walks up to me. She ask me if I am friends with this guy. I was very hyped she was talking to me. Then it dawned on me she was asking me about my best friend. I said yes I was friends with him. She then goes on to tell me how she likes him and if I could set it up for them to met. I told her sure, I could do that. But I didn't. I never told my friend. I had very low self-esteem back then. I had wanted her to like me but instead.... she was after my friend. As years passed and I grew up I did a lot of work on myself. I might not be the best looking guy, I am far from perfect but today I know I am a good person and that it is the inside that counts. We are good enough. Every person out there is special in there own way. You and I have become friends and you are a very beautiful soul. I really like your post because it is so honest and sincere. I am very glad I have gotten to know you. Life is all about risk. Never be afraid to live it.

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I a niece or nephew in the foster system. The thing is I don't even know if it is my niece or nephew. I only know one of them is in it because someone who talks with foster kid's told me it despite not being allowed to. And it's been eating at me ever since I was told that.

I can't see them. I don't know their names or their faces. I saw them once when I was 10 and they werent much younger but I can't remember a thing about them. I never saw them after that. I didn't know how...and now they're in foster care and probably thinking none of their family care about them but I do! I care and I can't remember them...I want to see them. I want to talk to them. even if I can't bring them home with me and take care of them I want to let them know someone loves them! I cry sometimes thinking about how I am powerless to protect them or even support them.

I just...want them to know they aren't alone in this world. My half siblings may have abandoned them but I didn't have a choice...I want to tell them I'm sorry I couldn't stay with them...I couldn't protect them. and now....I may never be able to.

I actually think about the possibility...I just know if it happens Ill be so happy...whether I get eaten or survive...doesn't matter there are zombies man! Freaking zombies! It would be beautiful ; u ;

A few time's when I was younger I would cut myself. Not because of some wanna be emo shit or need for attention. Just because I wasn't sure if I was real. so I'd carve into myself with knives, broken

glass,anything sharp. sometimes deep sometimes not. I would look at the blood coming up from my skin and feel the slight sting of the knife. sometimes I would taste it just to see if it was real.

the pain made me real. at least that is what I thought. But that's not true anymore (although I do kind of enjoy a blade on skin and blood). I know I'm real. there's worse thing's that I am not sure about now.

I don't know why I'm writing this. I guess it's because I don't think anyone will read it. No one will see it hopefully. I'm kind of glad about the stupid things I did as a teen. I'm still a teen but I don't do that anymore.

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Dakotah
05:26 Dec 02 2014

Some of us read journals. I hope you do not do this anymore... the cutting.

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Sometimes I feel like just dying. no reason for it I just want to die. It's not as if I have a bad life. And I don't even know if I can be happy.Maybe that is my fate. To never know true happiness.