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This pain I feel

Feels so real

But the love I lost

But the love I found

But when I looked

Into the book.

Of your life

Of your love

Of the dove

That told me of your love

Now I can't stop looking

Now I can't stop waiting

For the love your antisipateing

Let me slip away under thr surface. Let me slip away into the vast darkness of that which my soul is confound into. I'm sick of watching, waiting, and anticipating the moment of treason, of being completely happy within myself. I'm filled with thoughts of suicide. Just let me slip away. I need you but.....I don't.

As I call to you I feel you next to me, your warmth consuming my every wish to go. I pull you down wishing to have you forever with me. I pull you close as a kiss becomes so much more. As you undress me I feel the weight lifting off my sholders. I pull you onto me licking my lips as I feel you fall into me. Finally I feel complete as the pain turns to extacy I fall within your spirit so strong. I lay bleeding with no worry for you to leave I move down licking the blood off of you asking for more in wish for you love me,want me, need me I look at you with love as tears begin to fall I bite into you ever so deep yet ever so gentle wishing you to be pleased. I am lost within the maze I made for myself as my world darkens you are my only light I pull you closer wish to be able to see asyou kiss me I feel the warmth of a lover as if you cared when no other did. I loved every moment as I pull you on me once again no wish for it to stop I keep it going moveing faster then slower listening to the extacy as music within my head I wtap my arms around you kissing you and licking you my candy so sweet my love so thick for you. I lay next to you whispering in your ear words never spoken from my lips. Finally I am ripped from all innocents yet would do it again. You are my love you are the only need I have the only person that matters anymore. As I lay I dream of your smile and your kiss and the sweet music that played in my head only a dream for ever till we meet at once.

As the day gose by now the moon in the sky all I can say is why, Why is the night so beautiful to my eye's surprise after a storm so alive,Beneath my mortal skin I call into the wind your na me swearing that it isn't the same without you hear my heart dare not beat for if it dare it will depleate forever gone into the vast darkness of that which as no end for if you take my heart I will have nothing left.

My lover, my paradise is within your mind. My hope within your heart.

Tragedy is only the start…

My soul confound into the darkness of Hell. My halo depleted.

And my fears repeated…

My heart is within your grasp only yours. My life is yours beloved.

And my tears they are shoved…

Away into the shadows no light to follow. Darkness is where I hide.

Listening to the crashing tide…

Red sand beneath my feet of blood spilt. As I call to you my tears they fall.

And I am pinned to the wall…

Away from the atrocities that I have caused. Blades follow as screams are formed.

As I look around my body is torn…

Immortal gaze upon my innocent soul. Gone with the wind as I fall onto the floor.

Away goes the pain as they shut the door…

The night is gone into sunrise I find. And all I see is a blood drenched sheets around me.

My innocents is gone now that I see…

Tattered wings and a broken hearted left shattered across the floor, you found me.

My eyes blackened my heart hard and cold till you came and made me feel real.

As I spoke my heart bleed but you mended my brokenness.

I cried but you dried my tears and comforted me.

You stuck up for me when I was hurt and hated.

You’ve been my friend through so much.

We are total opposites yet you’ve been my best friend.

Becca you mean the world to me as a sister I stand before you.

I’m grateful for your friendship.

I will be there when ever you feel the need to cry or talk always and forever.

(Cat-1/24/06)

Roses intertwined as my heart and yours. Painted in blood of the ones in our way. Love brought us this far and here we will stay...Kisses and hugs much more to do. All of my love brought from me to you. As the days go by soon we will find, that our love is pure darkness and reconfined. Sweet is the blood that you give to me, and here in your arms ill stay for eternity.

You may never see my eyes yet they are not what you need to see you need to see my heart and understand that more than anything else..Cause I love you more each day we say hello and each good bye we say just makes me stronger knowing that i have finaly found what it is i need and desire. You are my everything my blood within my vains the sun over head the moon that lights my path at night and my heart that sustains my life. You are so much in my eyes you may never know but I always will.

As darkness breaks upon my soul and the Devil seems to be my best friend lately.

I'm sick of everyone around me. Everyone seems so happy. But they can't change me.

Not even God himself.

I'm here to prey onto the one I have cursed for do long.

I'm dead inside and allways will be..

I cut to make my Lord pleased with me.

I have powers beyond any bood of magick.

I will stand with Him. I will stay with Him.

He is the reason I exsist..

Death and destrustion, Drugs and seduction.

And all of the things that just Fuck You Up.

Goths and cutters just bleeding mothers dry I know why...

We won't take this you are running us down.

To where we can't see anymore.

Cause...we are the ones that you've hated,mistreated, and put down again.

We will never be like you and you can't change us.

This is who we are. This is whats in our hearts.

This is where we stand and we stan proud.

Don't try to change us.

Death and destrustion, Drugs and seduction.

And all of the things that just Fuck You Up.

I'm fadeing away everyday that you turn me away. I'm fadeing away with every step you take. I'm fadeing away everyday that you don't say goodbye.

I'm fadeing away....

As the full moon approaches my blood starts to run cold. My scences become acute to every heart-beat around me. Afraide of the atrocities that will weild within my soul. I can taste the innocents on you knowing what my lord will hold for your future with me. Your blood is sweet, skin tender and soft. Haveing you at my side as my dark prince perhaps. My demon upon a cloud. You will be mine and I yours for now and eturninty.

I'm tired of crying out your name.

I'm tired of swearing im not the same.

I'm tired of it all....Sometimes I wish I could just fall.

To pieces

I'm shaddered across the floor.

To pieces

Takeing the lock off my door.

Hideing the key....Inside of me...

I'm crying crimson tears.

Eraseing all your fears.

For I love you and always will.

I'm the one strait out of the hive.

I'll give you four if you give me five.

Needles sticking from the grave,

Of everyone who tried to get me saved.

It worked once I can say but now I would rather a cold hard grave...

Cause we are all vessles of decay

I told you once stay out of MY way!!

Knives sticking in my back from all of the betraiers.

Biteing through my chamber doors to get out of your sight.

Get out of my way.

Get off of my back.

Take your crusifixtions with you they don't work here.

See this fire..

See this flame...

Get out..this is not a game.

I called upon you,involked your spirit.

Now I can feel you within my mortal soul.

Hell's darkest angel.

Gave me this power of the minipulation of human souls.

Though I now know that Hell is in my future, I now understand my mission.

To bring to him followers.

For I hold the knife of all sinners within my heart.

A soul black as coal will cry tears red as blood,

With a voice that of the shadows.

They will bring you in like sheep to be slaughtered.

But you will follow.

Into the darkness of night.

Where all you can hear is the vast screams of forgotten souls.

Then you will relize that you have had your chance to laeve but now is too late...