The Ultimate Vampire Resource and Directory

the will to live
20:39 Mar 23 2008
Times Read: 768

I dont know how can someone give their ALL and do so much for someone and risk so much for someone becuase they love them so much. and yet have to stand by and watch as the one they love goes for someone elsne and shatters and rips the heart to peices over and over again? The two can be so happy when they are together and all that the one does for the other yet in the end the one can only support and be happy for the other and only force a smile. Dont get me wrong they are happy that the one they love is happy and thats all they want. But for them they can only cry at night that they feel invisible and like all they do and all they are is dust on the others shoes. And yet they still love and still do everything for the other wishing to maybe be noticed or that the one they love might try to love them back. Its that own persons fault for being always in pain and heartbreak becuase they can't stop loving and caring for the other and it doesn't matter what is said or done they will ALWAYS be there for the one they love even if the other does not love them back. Sorry to all its thoughts going through the head forgive me. I only wish you all the happness that life can give. I know my place sorry.

Three Holy men and a Bear
20:38 Mar 23 2008
Times Read: 769




A priest, a Pentecostal preacher, and a rabbi all served as chaplains to the students of Northern Michigan University in Marquette. They would get together two or three times a week for coffee and to talk shop.



One day, someone made the comment that preaching to people isn't really all that hard. A real challenge would be to preach to a bear. One thing led to another, and they decided to do an experiment. They would all go out into the woods, find a bear, preach to it, and attempt to convert it.



Seven days later, they all came together to discuss their experience.



Father Flannery, who had his arm in a sling, was on crutches, and had various bandages on his body and limbs, went first. "Well," he said, "I went into the woods to find me a bear. And when I found him, I began to read to him from the Catechism. Well, that bear wanted nothing to do with me and began to slap me around. So I quickly grabbed my holy water, sprinkled him and, Holy MAry Mother of GOD, he became as gentle as a lamb. The bishiop is coming out next week to give him first communion and confirmation."



Reverend Billy Bob spoke next. He was in a wheelchair, had one arm and both legs in casts, and had an IV drip. In his best fire-and-brimstone oratory, he claimed, "Well, brothers, you KNOW that we don't sprinkle! I went out and I FOUND me a bear. And then I began to read to my bear from GOD's HOLY WORD! But that bear wanted nothing to do with me. So I took HOLD of him and we began to wrestle. We wrestled down one hill, UP another and Down another until we cam to a creek. So I quickly DUNKED him an dBAPTIZED his hairy soul. And just like you said, he became as gentle as a lamb. We spent the rest of the day praising Jesus."



The priest and reverend both looked down at the rabbi, who was lying in a hospital bed. He was in a body cast and traction with IVs and monitors running in and out of him. He was in really bad shape.



The Rabbi looked up and said,.................................................................................

"Looking back on it,



circumcision may not have been the best way to start"

stupid people
20:36 Mar 23 2008
Times Read: 770

Darwin Award Winners:



1. When his 38-caliber revolver failed to fire at his intended victim

during

a holdup in Long Beach, California, would be robber James Elliot did

something that can only inspire wonder. He peered down the barrel and

tried

the trigger again. This time it worked..... And now, the honorable

mentions:







2. The chef at a hotel in Switzerland lost a finger in a meat cutting

machine and, after a little hopping around, submitted a claim to his

insurance company. The company expecting negligence, sent out one of

its men

to have a look for himself. He tried the machine and lost a finger.

The

chef's claim was approved





3. A man who shoveled snow for an hour to clear a space for his car

during a

blizzard in Chicago returned with his Vehicle to find a woman had

taken the

space. Understandably, he shot her.





4. After stopping for drinks at an illegal bar, a Zimbabwean bus

driver

found that the 20 mental patients he was supposed to be transporting

from

Harare to Bulawayo had escaped. Not wanting to admit his incompetence,

the

driver went to a nearby bus stop and offered everyone waiting there a

free

ride. He then delivered the passengers to the mental hospital, telling

the

staff that the patients were very excitable and prone to bizarre

fantasies.

The deception wasn't discovered for 3 days.





5. An American teenager was in the hospital recovering from serious

head

wounds received from an oncoming train. When asked how he received the



injuries, the lad told police that he was simply trying to see how

close he

could get his head to a moving train before he was hit.





6. A man walked into a Louisiana Circle-K, put a $20 bill on the

counter,

and asked for change. When the clerk opened the cash drawer, the man

pulled

a gun and asked for all the cash in the register, which the clerk

promptly

provided. The man took the cash from the clerk and fled, leaving the

$20

bill on the counter. The total amount of cash he got from the

drawer...$15.

(If someone points a gun at you and gives you money, is a crime

committed?)





7. Seems an Arkansas guy wanted some beer pretty badly. He decided

that he'd

just throw a cinderblock through a liquor store window, grab some

booze, and

run. So he lifted the cinderblock and heaved it over his head at the

window.

The cinderblock bounced back and hit the would-be thief on the head,

knocking him unconscious. The liquor store window was made of

Plexiglas. The

whole event was caught on videotape.





8. As a female shopper exited a New York convenience store, a man

grabbed

her purse and ran. The clerk called 911 immediately, and the woman was

able

to give them a detailed description of the snatcher. Within minutes,

the

police apprehended the snatcher. They put him in the car and drove

back to

the store. The thief was then taken out of the car and told to stand

there

for a positive ID. To which he replied, "Yes, officer, that's her.

That's

the lady I stole the purse from."





9. The Ann Arbor News crime column reported that a man walked into a

Burger

King in Ypsilanti, Michigan, at 5 a.m., flashed a gun, and demanded

cash.

The clerk turned him down because he said he couldn't open the cash

register

without a food order. When the man ordered onion rings, the clerk said

they

weren't available for breakfast. The man, frustrated, walked away.



A 5-STAR STUPIDITY AWARD WINNER!



10. When a man attempted to siphon gasoline from a motor home parked

on a

Seattle Street, he got much more than he bargained for. Police arrived

at

the scene to find a very sick man curled up next to a motor home near

spilled sewage. A police spokesman said that the man admitted to

trying to

steal gasoline and plugged his siphon hose into the motor home's

sewage tank

by mistake. The owner of the vehicle declined to press charges, saying

that

it was the best laugh he'd ever had.