The Ultimate Vampire Resource and Directory

How long must we submit ourselves to the torture that other people hand to us? Its not even their fault. We open the box, choose the dagger, and give them the handle. We open ourselves up to their actions knowing full well that not only can they hurt us but they will hurt us. Its an inevitability. Human beings are created to destroy. The planet, their creations, even each other.



Most of all each other, in fact.



But thats the beauty of life. Everything we see, everything we experience, is that much more beautiful because we know it might all end at any moment. You could die right now, while reading this. Statistically, you have a 1.78 in seven billion chance of dying by the time you reach the end of this sentence. And that makes things around you the most beautiful they have ever been. And tomorrow they will be even more beautiful.



Even the ugly people. And I dont mean that in a vain sense. There are no people who are ugly physically, just different and strange and unique. I mean those with ugly souls. The ones who live their life with the intent to harm, the ones who take without giving, the ones who live to crush other peoples hopes and dreams. Emotional succubi. Even they, with their actions being so cruel and the things they do, are truly beautiful just for the fact that this may be the last time you ever see them.



I've been through a lot recently. With everything the universe handed me, I even tried to end it all. The truck driver had better breaks than I had hoped for. But in that moment, when he leaned on the horn and I saw his vehicle barrel towards me, I realized something. A lot of somethings.



We are shells of what we can truly be. Never on this plane of existence will we know the true power that we hold deep within us, though we can share a taste of it. Never will we -truly- understand what it is to love another human, and never will we truly understand how much someone can love us. Not just romantically, but in the same way one might live their siblings, or their parents, or even a best friend. The ones you would die for without hesitation.



I've learned that we never stop loving someone. Some people we love more than others, but it goes on and on and on. Its the one force that breaks the One Rule that I've realized, but more on that later. I hand my heart to people easily. They dissect it and leave it their to bleed. But if there one thing about me, I'm very very hard to kill. But you came the closest out of all of them. I just wish I knew how it made you feel, if anything at all. Because even after everything, you know I'd do it all over again if you asked me to. The rush is well worth the fall.



I've learned that people change. On the most basic and the most grandiose levels, people are shaped and molded by those around them and the experiences they face. If one spends time with a pathological liar who takes advantage of others and cares not for anything but himself, thats who they will start to become. And while that may seem human, it isn't what we're meant to do. We should learn from those people so that we do not become them. We become us, and learn from them what we do and do not want to be. You are nobody but you. As strange and weird as you may seem, its not just okay to be that way, its what you were always MEANT to be.



I've learned love happens again. And again, and again. Its easy to love someone new, especially when they return the feeling. No matter what they look like, or what they do, or their opinions, you can fall in love with someone completely different from you in every aspect. Someone who doesn't follow your typical 'type' of partner. And you can fall hard. I've never fallen as hard as that one succubus though. But..I think thats okay. Because I've learned the One Rule of the universe.



Everything changes. Nothing is permanent. Not even our troubles. This too shall pass.



I'll let you know what else I learn.