I've lost track of the day by this point.23:59 Aug 29 2013
Times Read: 340
Everything is going relatively well. The polar bears have not yet realized I am not one of their own, and the Great Curling shall soon take place! Thats where we Canadians wipe out every other nation. Its why we're so polite. We know you're all doomed in the end.
I haven't been writing on here lately. Which is both good and bad. Its good in terms that I haven't feel the need to really get anything off of my chest. Everythings been awesome, especially with Frankie. I still think I don't deserve her, at times.
And yet, its sort of bad because although I have the memory of everything that has happened, I have no written form of it. If I were to, say, lose all memory tomorrow. Amnesia, I believe they call it. What would I recall? What would come back to me?
Would I remember that I recently got and subsequently quit a really shitty, really dangerous job? Would I remember watching a gunfight twenty feet away between the police and a bunch of people on the way home from work?
Would I have any recollection of the interview I travelled across the city for, just to be told someone else had more experience?
That one gets me. Its like an everlasting circle of 'fuck you'. How do I get a job? You need experience! How do I get experience? With a job! I'm sure you can see how that works out.
Its not that I'm under the required skills or anything. I was the only one in my class to graduate with honors. Thats an overall average of 91% that I pulled. My professor still says he expects me to go places.
But those places are taking forever to get to. And I don't have forever. I have another 60-70 years, tops. Maybe a bit longer, based on whatever kind of medical technology they discover in that timespan. Maybe less if there is some sort of natural disaster event.
It just gets to me in a way that, although I can't describe, I know everyone has experienced. The feeling of 'when'. The feeling of 'what if'. Its like everything moves so slow, but then you look at the calendar, and so much time has passed that you've missed it. And its a scary thought. The thought that we are only here for so long, and when we leave, only what we've done and created leaves our legacy.
When the last person forgets us, we no longer exist. As far as history is concerned, we never existed. But we do. And we did. They'll never know. But we know right now. Sort of right now.
See, I watched a video recently explaining that we live in the past. No, not 1500. A fraction of nanoseconds in the past. It makes sense, from a logical standpoint. We have to process what is going on, through our senses and then to the brain. Then we have to comprehend it. Then we have to make decisions on how we feel about it. How to react. How not to react. Social norms. Acceptable behaviour.
All in the fraction of a nanosecond.
We're brilliant creatures. Absolutely brilliant. And I don't just mean intelligence, either. But the capability we have mentally and physically is astounding.
Example. We are the only creatures on the planet (or in existence, that we are aware of) that exhibit the theory that someone else has a seperate mind than us.
Theres a test called something along the lines of Sophie's Room. Sophie has a cookie. She puts the cookie in a basket, and leaves the room. Her sister takes the cookie and puts it in a lunchbox. When sophie comes back to the room, where will she look for the cookie?
You and I, we know Sophie will probably look in the basket, where she left it. But up until about 5 years old, humans will insist that she looks in the lunchbox. We haven't yet developped the theory that someone else might not know what we do. No other animal has exhibited such.
Even gorillas that have been taught to sign, have never shown this in the fact that, although we can partially communicate, they have never -asked- us anything. They have never theorized that we might know something they dont. Or that they might know something we dont.
Except one.
Koko the gorilla was brilliant. She was truly the most genius of all gorillas we have ever had the opportunity to study and work with as a human race. She is the only creature to exhibit the belief that she might know something we didn't.
They gave Koko a pet kitten. Im not sure on the facts of why, but Koko ripped a metal sink out of a concrete wall, pipes and all, during a tantrum. When asked what happened?
Koko blamed the kitten.
And now, I leave you all with the thought of a three pound calico kitten ripping a sink out of the wall in a fit of rage. Fucking. Adorable.
And as always, my better half is doing well. Better than she was, after something that, when I found out about it, tied my stomachs in knots for about a week. I told you it didn't, sweetheart, but I think you knew better.
I'm just glad you're alright.
COMMENTS
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Levity
18:17 Sep 01 2013
I'm a woman. We always know better.
Kanadian91
23:02 Sep 01 2013
At the very least, I have to pretend to agree you know better, right?