it eats at me .... threatening any joy i might feel it digs in its claws .... and sets itself up it bares its fangs .... and shows its dominance it makes me bow .... and takes my submission not as a gift but as a trophy it binds me .... so that i can not breath it corrupts me ... leaving me tainted and cold it loves me .... like no other it hates me ... and makes me hate the ones i love the most it never leaves ... forever present and waiting it never sleeps ... watchful for my transgressions it waits .... sometimes in silence it waits .... sometimes roaring in my ears like a storm from the bowels of hell it is my fear plain simple excruciating encompassing controlling taking over ruling relentless take it away just take it away tracyelynne 2007 |
across the meadows lying deep within my heart a battle cry echoes its not the sound itself that scares me but from whence it comes everywhere no where though my heart aches to don my own armor take up my own sword and delve headfirst into battle beside those i love i cannot i am not needed or i am not wanted needless to say i await the dreaded sounds of metal clashing teeth gnashing hooves thundering in the dark the silence is far worse than anything i can imagine outcome ... for there SHALL be one is something else that frightens me makes me ache clear through to my very core even though i dont fight even though i dont participate i am surely to be one of the defeated when its over will i be one of the broken defeated beyond repair? or just left standing in a field of dismay defeated just the same? no tales for the valiant no songs for the brave no accolades for the worthy just a battle fought lives and hearts torn things changed will i be left wondering still what it was for and why it had to be listen for it grows stronger louder more insistent more frightening even than before even in its silence i feel the ground quake with it pulling me pushing me hating me loving me STOP !!!!!!!! was that the clang of swords greeting each other hastily or was it the sound of the pieces of a broken heart fallen to the cold stone floor i dont know any more and you arent here to hold me and tell me everything is going to be alright for you have gone to meet the challenge and left me here blinded silenced alone tracyelynne/kamik --2007 |
Within the absence of color -- there can be solace.
Some where between the black and the white
Is the place i choose to dwell....
Solace .. is what i find there
Peace is what it gives me
Security in the drab
For what i know
Is what i love
And what loves me in return
Within the absence of color ... there IS my solace
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