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Took me over an hour to fall asleep only to roll over off the bed ten minutes in... fml

Thinking about spending the ten bucks I have left in my psn wallet on the new pirate Borderlands 2 dlc. So if you guys have Borderlands 2 for ps3 add me. I'll prolly be on all night.

Unless I was "deceived" we got along for an hour and twenty-seven minutes. That's good news and bad news. Good news because I really missed talking to her. Bad news, because it was only an hour and twenty-seven minutes. Hopefully tomorrow I can get an even two hours. And maybe if I'm lucky the next day I'll get two and a half hours. *sighs softly* It's not that I'm complaining though. I'm grateful. Don't take it that way. It was worth the last part and being called a liar just to have that hour and twenty-seven minutes. *tries to smile*

So I just got back. I went to this birthday party for my cousin Beth who I haven't seen in ages. She turns 15 today. It sucked. It was cold outside (42) and it was windy. They had the party thing at the park which would have been awesome if it were warmer but since it wasn't it was kinda gay. Why did I even go? I couldn't sleep last night and I thought if I stayed home alone I'd fall asleep and that wouldn't be good. So I went but I kinda wish I hadn't because I always feel awkward at parties like that with people I haven't seen in ages. Most people find times like that great for catching up but for me it's like "you people don't make an effort to see if I'm even still alive so why should I hang out and eat cake with you and drink faygo rootbeer?" But on the plus side my dad got sprayed with a whole can of silly string so I actually smiled which I haven't done in several days. Over all? 3/5. Would have been a 2 had my dad decided not to go and a 4/5 if I had stayed home where it was warm and I could play Borderlands 2 :D Add me on psn or something. Ids in the profile.

I'm this type of person. If I care about you, I tell you. I can probably count on one hand, yes a single hand, how many times I've not said I love you to my girl. That includes when I'm mad, sad, annoyed and disappointed. I'm the type of person that if I don't say it I can't sleep at night. I want the last thing she hears from me to be "i love you" because I do love her. Yes even when I'm mad I make a point to say it because no matter how mad I get at her I do love her. Our current situation sucks because she hasn't said it ONE time in two days. That sucks because if something were to happen, say I get in a car accident for example she can't say the last thing I heard her say was I love you. That would suck. And before she gives me shit about writing it here, you know how I am and the way I am and I tried mentioning it twice both of which you ignored. So *sighs* what a week I'm having.

My fucking retarded family ruins everything. -.- ugh...

So I've had a blah last couple of days. Worked today on 2 hours sleep and it's catching up to me. My self esteem is in the shitter too. Not a good combo but meh, what can you do? I'm just so sick of my emotions being on a roller coaster. Up down up down up down. Lifes like a jump rope. (thumbs up if you get the reference and +10 cool points) my family life has been really fucked up lately. Mostly because my sister has a boyfriend but she's been hanging out a lot with the guy who lives upstairs from me. He's pretty cool but she acts like more then just friends and then goes and sneaks around and hugs him off to the side and stays the night at his house watching movies and shit without telling the bf.. It's fucked up that she's basically a two timer and at her age it's pathetic. So yeah. On the plus side today while working I found a dollar. Nice. And while I was working through lunch (skipped it) I was talking to this dude who came in to donate some stuff (I work at a family help center type deal) and he was pretty funny and made me lol for a few. So yeah. Go me or something along those lines.