The Ultimate Vampire Resource and Directory

Today was a perfect day. And by perfect I mean bloody awesome. The whole reason today was so amazing was because of my girl. I give her a lot of shit about a lot of things but the reason I do this is because I love her. I know what she's capable of and today she just proved I was right all along. She does make me happy. No assumptions, no taking anything the wrong way, no attitude, no taking anything out on me, laughter, jokes, food, fun. It was an amazing day. She really showed me what she's got to offer. She really reminded me why I love her. She reminded me why I'm in this relationship. She reminded me why I fight so hard to keep us together. I couldn't have asked for a better day. Nothing. absolutely nothing went wrong. It's days like this that make me wish I could stop time and make the day go on forever. We spent 90% of today together and that's just icing on the cake. I'm so proud of my girl. I wish I could put it into words. She was the perfect girl today and it felt like old times. We can have those times again. They say every bad day is the closing of a chapter. Well Honey, I think we're starting a new book together! :D

You know you're in love when even something as simple as food network makes you think about her. I'm a hopeless romantic huh?

Okay so remember my last posts about my stupid neighbors lying and sticking their noses where they don't belong? Instant karma! The owner of the apartments upstairs told my dad today that they had to move out. And it gets better! 1) The dad of the boy who lives up there (the stupid one who came to my door) got arrested on major drug charges and is being held on $100,000 bond. LOL! He had like 17 fucking warrents. And 2) They had given the guy who rented the apartment to them a fake fucking name on the application. An alias because he didn't want his dad to get arrested. So now they have to move out. It's fucking halarious. And to top it all off, this morning when no one was up, I snuck out and did something to something of theirs. Needless to say they'll have to rent a moving van because their van isn't quite running at the moment. *evil grin* Instant karma. It fucking rocks! LMFAO!

Oh my god! I have really stupid neighbors! This guy from upstairs comes down right? He knocks on my door. I was in the kitchen sweeping up the mess I made (spilt popcorn) and so my brother answers the door. He says "Yeah, dude? What'd you need?" And the guys like "Damn, I don't know why you come answer this door with an attitude." so my brother says "I don't think I had an attitude." and then the guy just stands there. For like 3 whole minutes! Until my brother says "Well if you're not going to say what you wanted..." and then the guy walks away. WTF! Why come to my house in the first place! Ahh! I hate people!

Don't you hate it when neighbors stick their noses where they don't belong? ESPECIALLY if they make shit up JUST BECAUSE? God I hate people. I really hate living in an apartment below people. I want my OWN house where no one will come and try and cause problems by making shit up. Life is full of REAL problems and there is NO FUCKING REASON to make shit up. God I hate people sometimes.

Sometimes the one thing we really don't want to say at the time is the one thing that could really make a difference.

I was going through my poetry yesterday and today and I realized something. I don't write the same anymore. I mean yeah, people change and the way they write change but I mean it like this. My vocabulary has expanded in just two years so much it's almost comical. I speak much differently then I used to. Not more mature and not less juvenile just a good bit more refined. I can still cuss like a sailor and blow things way out of proportion but in the end I’ve grown. To be honest I like that. I like the change. I’m better for it. I appreciate things more now. I know what it’s like to feel pain and to have happiness and it makes me a better person. I’m different yet the same. The ultimate contradiction but I wouldn’t change my new ways out for the old ones any day. The new me rocks to hardcore to ever go back to crappy less cool me. Sometimes growing up isn’t so bad once you give it a chance...

Another hole in the ground? That crazy Team Rocket. Whatever will they think of next? XD

Love is a verb. You have to do it. You have to show it. But sometimes? Sometimes people forget to exercise...

Well baby when you're ready, I'll be here. You know how to get ahold of me. I love you and I miss you.

Wow. She gives me all this shit about how I'm not supposed to write about our problems on here yet she goes and does the same after I haven't for a long time? Wow. Just wow. Let's break down my day, shall we? My stupid dad wakes me up today. And I only get about 5 hours of sleep so that's like 7 in two days. Anyway, he wakes me up. I get up, and I'm groggy as hell but I'm not cranky. So the day moves on a bit and then about an hour after I wake up my brother is in my room and he's like "Hey, toss me the fabreez" and so I pick it up off the table and I almost drop it. Well I catch it but it sprays me right in the fucking eyes. Directly in the eyes. It fucking hurt and so I take about an hour and just lay down. My brother and sister go outside and so I'm playing Pokemon platinum on my emulator. (No bullshit people who say it's stealing. I do not care) and so apparently my brother has the sound off because he was playing Diablo 2 while I was sleeping. That's cool but he forgot to turn it back on and so when he goes outside the screen saver comes on the other computer. So I'm playing Pokemon and apparently she messages me on YIM. Well I don't see it because of said screen saver. So what happens? Instead of asking me why I didn't respone like a normal person she gets pissed. Saying what she did in her journal. That I didn't stop playing to talk to her, that I don't put her first bla bla bla and it's all bullshit. She doesn't know what happened because she didn't take the time to ask. But of course like always I'm probably going to be the bad guy. Probably some way I should have known she was going to message me or that I should have gotten up and moved the mouse every 10 minutes so the screen saver wouldn't come on. It'll be my fault. Just watch. Ugh. *sighs*

1. I love her.

2. I love her with all of my heart.

3. I love her with all of my soul.

4. I love her more then anything.

5. I love her more then everything.

6. I love her more then life itself.

7. I would die for her.

8. I've changed more for her then I have ever changed in the past.

9. When you love someone you'll wait for them.

10. I'm in love with her and even if she doesn't love me? That'll never change how I feel about her.

So I guess she's breaking it off. Funny how something like an illness will make you push away the ones who care the most about you. She refused to let me in. She'd rather push me out. I'm the infectious disease she doesn't want to catch. I'm the husband she doesn't want, the boyfriend she can't stand and the one she hates the most? I? Who gave her unconditional love? I who let her have her space when she asked? Just because I couldn't stand to be shoved out when I knew it was only hurting her? She closed herself off and for what? Why face alone something you can have help with? I asked not for her to come to me. I asked her merely to let me help because I wanted to. She said she didn't need my help. She didn't want my help. She didn't want a husband or a boyfriend. She cast away everything just because she wanted to close herself off. I love her. I really do. I care for her more then anyone or anything and I know if it's really meant to be she'll come to her senses. All I can do is wait for her. And I will. I'll wait because you can't choose who you love and I'm in love with her.

And no matter what, I'll never stop loving her. I can't because she's my everything.

So now she signs out. No message to me at all. Just some bullshit journals about how I'm so horrible for feeling a little hurt about her telling you precious people before me about her LP. She started in last night and now it's continued over to today. I'm not going to lie and say I'm not hurt. This is something a little more serious then "I got a raise" or "I got fired" or something like that. This is a little more important then what she had for lunch. She's picked vr over me many times before but never like this. It just hurts and she doesn't see it. She's only worrying about what she sees and I can't really blame her at the moment. She's got a lot going on especially since the LP but she shouldn't shut me out. She should come to me and let me help her. She won't give me the chance to be there for her like she claims you people are because she always rushes over to you guys first. I feel left out, worried, hurt, unimportant, untrusted and sad. Sad because I would have come to her waaay before I ever thought about putting anything on here. I only posted on here about my ulcer one time and that was only because she wasn't talking to me. Said she didn't want to hear from me so I can't be blamed for that. I put it on here not for the whole VR but for her to read because I knew she'd read my page. *sighs* Today has just been horrible. Sometimes I wish I had never woken up. But hey, worst case scenario, I'd gladly post up half my liver in a heartbeat. She can have all of it if it makes her healthy and happy and I wouldn't think twice about it, even if she broke up with me the moment I woke up from the anestisa. If that's not love? Please, please please tell me what is?

I know she'll get the repeat physical. I know she'll get the treatment if she needs it. I know we matter enough for her to do those things. And if I don't matter enough, and this relationship doesn't matter enough, then at least I know she feels she matters enough and if that's what it takes then I'll accept that with open arms. That and I'm sure if I had to use it I would stoop so low as to mention a certain little girl who will make her do anything. If that's what it takes to make her healthy, then she can hate me all she wants. She matters that much to me. I'd rather her hate me and be healthy then be happy with me but damage her health.

God she is so fucking clueless. She doesn't see that I care more then she'll ever know. She doesn't see I worry. She doesn't see how I love her. She only sees any excuse she can in order to fight. Yeah, I'm a little insulted. Anyone would if the person they are married to wrote about something major like a health condition on a fucking social networking site before they notified the husband or wife. I'd like one person to comment on here and HONESTLY say they wouldn't be a little hurt if their wife wrote about something they found in a blood test on here before telling you. That hurts and if one person can honestly say they'd be okay reading it on here instead of hearing about it FROM that wife then hell must be freezing over.

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DireConsequences
23:34 May 13 2010

I would be pissed.



You two need to look into getting help from the state just for her medical, that way she could get help if she wants it.



We had to do it for my Grandma and my best friend had to do it last year.

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JustinDupree
23:37 May 13 2010

Well apparently she doesn't feel I should be pissed. She feels I'm "turning it around to be about me" and it's not. It's not about me. I just feel I deserved to know before all these precious VR people. And yeah, I'm sure we can figure something out about the medical but she won't come to me. She'd rather prance about to all the VR people instead of comming to me. That's what hurts the most. These people mean so much she'd tell them about her condition before me. I wouldn't have even known if I hadn't read her journal...

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So I'm pretty pissed right now. Apparently I'm not worthy of notification of something major. Apparently I'm not important enough like all of you people. Glad you guys get inside information. This just goes to show that my statement "I have to read your journal to find out what's going on" was true all along. All I have to say is you'd be stupid not to go get the physical and treatment and we both know you're not stupid. I really don't know what to say. *shakes his head*

I was watching Tough Love Couples just now on vh1 and something Mario said totally stuck with me. He said "Deception is like a disease. It'll eat away at your relationship and no matter how bad you both want it nothing will cure that disease except telling the truth." and he's right. I'm so lucky. Me and my girl may have had our ups and downs. We may have been through a lot but we've both been 100% honest through out the whole relationship. I'm so lucky. It's like Ryan, he lied to Axcella the whole time they were together and I can't see how he can look her in the face and apologize. I'm so glad my girl and I are in the relationship we are in. Honesty 100% and it's so awesome. So here's to you baby. Thank you. Thank you for being honest with me. It means a lot.

I want to take this time to say how proud I am of my girl. She's really been putting the effort forth to make this relationship work. We've been doing great for a good while and it's all thanks to her doing her part 98% of the time. I mean when we both try it goes a long way and I like to give credit where credit is due. Baby, you've done amazing. Keep up the good work and nothing nor anyone can conqure us. *thumbs up*

I seriously need to catch up on some sleep. Seriously. Like for the past 2 freaking weeks I've gotten 2-3 maybe 4 hours a day on average. Some days more some days less but it's been about that much. And it's really starting to take it's toll on me. Like today. I got like 5 hours sleep but I felt like I didn't sleep at all. I dragged my ass out of bed and it took a 20 minute cold shower to wake me up enough to get dressed. How sad is that? Stupid insomnia is pissing me off. But on the bright side I downloaded some manuals for Photoshop and so maybe I can finally get to where I understand it enough to do something creative. Most of all though? I hope tonight I can sleep. *crosses his fingers*

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Oceanne
05:01 May 09 2010

I feel for ya but first,you have to get off the computer in order to sleep.

Best of luck.

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JustinDupree
05:12 May 09 2010

Yeah? I think that's rather straight common sense. Why should I not do something constructive while I am unable to sleep instead of just laying in bed hoping something that isn't likely to happen will happen?

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This song is halarious. LISTEN TO IT! lol XD



https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=R-8tDpf1v-0



Yo, uh, uh c'mon



I've been so lonely girl, I've been so sad and down

Couldn't understand why haters joked around

I wanted to be free with other creatures like me

And now I got my wish, cause i know that I'm a gay fish (gay fish)



(Gay fish Yo) mother fuckin' gay fish

(I'm a fish yo) goin' on a gay fish

(It's alright girl) makin' love to other gay fish



All those lonely nights at the grocery store

In the frozen fish aisle feelin' like a whore

Cause I wasn't being true

Even though everyone said that I had to make a switch

(Gay fish) now I know that I'm a gay fish (gay fish)



(Gay fish Yo) mother fuckin' gay fish

(I'm a fish yo) Goin' on a gay fish

(Now I'm where i belong girl) makin' love to other gay fish



I used to be scared, denying who I was

Acting straight but then going out to the gay fish clubs

Dancing with the Marlins making out with the all the Snappers

I'd take a Salmon home and work that Coddle Fin for hours

But now I'm out and I'm free to love what I want

Be it Yellow Fin or Bass or them trout in Vermont

I slapped that Holland ass, make that Grouper butt shake

I'll come to your house and have an orgy in your motherfuckin' fish tank (fish tank, fish tank)



Mother fuckin' gay fish

(I'm a fish yo) Goin' on a gay fish

(Yeah now I'm where i belong girl) makin' love to other gay fish



I really get around I'm the slut of the sea

When i say I've got crabs I mean it literally

I was eating dinner and just had to go down on that Mackerel on the dish

Cause I'm the gayest of the gay fish (gay fish)



Mother fuckin' gay fish

(I'm a fish yo) Goin' on a gay fish

Yeah now I'm where i belong girl



But I gotta settle down I can't be a whore

I ain't gonna just sleep with any fish no more

I've found me a lover, a brother who's a cross-dressing Cod named Trish

And together we are gay fish (gay fish)



(Gay fish yo) motherfuckin' gay fish

(I'm a fish yo) goin' on a gay fish

(Yeah, now I'm where i belong girl) makin' love to other gay fish

(Gay fish, gay fish, gay fish, gay fish, gay fish, gay fish...)

Went to the store with my mom today and while I was there I was looking at energy drinks. I haven't been sleeping that well and tomorrow I promised my neighbor I'd help mow her lawn. She usually wants it done at like 10 am and that's totally to early for me so I'll need one. At first I thought about 5 hour energy but then I thought "I totally want to go back to sleep when I'm done" lol and so I thought about Redbull. Monster doesn't agree with me. It gives me really bad jitters and shakes. I got that way off of half a can and so I try and stray from Monster and vault is more like a soda to me now then an energy drink since I used to drink it like water lol. So I was interested in Red bull but I wasn't going to get a case of 8 if I wasn't going to drink all of them so I got a pack of 4 of the off brand redbull. I'm cheap I know but why spend more when you might not even drink it all. Plus $1.99 wasn't bad for it. So I'll try it tomorrow and we'll see how it works.

So I was reading this tutorial online about photoshop. I've kinda taken an interest in photo manipulation and I'm trying to get an understanding on that. Anyway, I was just looking at some of the beginner stuff and so I came across this one on how to change eye color. I tried it and it's really fun. Weird how something so simple can be so fun to do. I took a picture of my girl and made her eyes blue, then took a picture of this guys dog from google and made it's eyes brown (they were originally blue) then did a snake whose eyes were yellow and made them red. It's pretty fun. And I think I did okay on it. So go me. Just shooting off at the mouth. Please, carry on.

I really needed a good day today. I've had not so good days for the past two days and I really really needed a good one. To smile, to laugh, to be optimistic would have been awesome. To look outside and see the blacken clouds and the damp rain with only good thoughts on my mind would have worked wonders. To sit in my room and smile knowing everything can only get better would have brought tears of happiness to my eyes. But the gods have other plans and so the day stays darkened. And no, this isn't "a rant to the public about any personal problems" or anything like that. This is me trying to explain to myself that everything will work out somehow. Even if I don't feel very good right now about it.

You know what bugs me? Suggestive stamps. I support that people who pay for premy memberships can do any of the thingys that only premys can. Some of them I don't agree with like Lurking for no reason but this is about stamps. I think if someone comes to you and asks you nicely to remove your stamp because it makes them uncomfortable or that it will make someone they care about uncomfortable then you should gladly do it, especially if they ask nicely. Some people are inconsiderate and just suck. They'd rather keep a stamp that is making someone else uncomfortable then do what's right and remove it. I'd rather have a lower rating or a no comment then see a stamp claiming to lick people. I save that for my girl. She's the only one who can lick me anywhere so for the record, I tried to get her to remove the stamp. She won't. It's out of my hands. Something tells me I'll get shit for it anyway even if I've done everything I can to get it removed.

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RedQueen
21:45 May 03 2010

There's no reason why you should get shit for something like that, if you ask nicely because it makes you feel uncomfortable. But having alot of your friends rate or rerate you will certainly move it back alot, if that helps.

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JustinDupree
00:43 May 04 2010

Thank you for your efforts to help. I hope I don't get shit for that stamp because like you said, I have no control over what people post on the stamp nor do I have control who puts what stamp where. *crosses his fingers*

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I will never give up. I will never stop. I will never be weak like that. I'll fight until I drop and I'll fight while on my knees. I've lived as a God, strong and true. I have died as a warrior bloody from my wounds. I will have my destiny play out. I will prove it's fate. She means that much to me.

No more being pissed. Who do I think I am?

I just finished watching Avatar on dvd. Wow. That's all I can say. Fucking Wow. I've wanted to see this movie since I first heard of it and even more so when I saw the first trailer and comercials. Well today I finally got to see it and I must say it's got to be one of the best movies I've seen. Period. Not just this week, or this year, I'm talking EVER. The forests looked AMAZING. I loved how everything lit up with you touched it, how the big red plant toward the beginning shrunk as soon as Jake touched it. The people were beautiful. The women were strong yet beautiful. The men just and true. The Na'vi are awesome. I loved the knifes and the bows. I want one of those knives lol and maybe a bow XD I fucking loved the Mountain Banshees. And I especially LOVED the Toruk. That beast is majestic and mighty. No wonder they respect it so much. The Na'vi, they are a peaceful people who don't want to drain their world dry like our people seem to love doing. It reminded me a lot of Avalanche from Final Fantasy VII. They wanted to keep Shinra from sucking all the life energy from the planet. The Na'vi didn't care what minerals or ores Pandora had. They just wanted to live as they've always lived. I really wish humans were like that. To hell with war, to hell with bombs, to hell with guns. Go back to swords and daggers. Hell, use your fists to settle any disputes. Let the bigger man win and move on. That's how it should be. We should care far more about our planet then we do. And more importantly, love. The Na'vi have a far better understanding of love then most humans do. That movie was awesome. I'm getting it as soon as I can. I'm so glad I watched it and I really suggest anyone who hasn't seen it to watch it. I only wish I had seen it in 3D. The dvd version was awesome so I know 3D would have rocked. So hats off to everyone involved with making that movie. It's one of my favorites of all times.