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I broke out the colored pencils today for the first time in like a year. I drew a simple drawing but it still felt good to have the pencils in my hands again after so long. You'd be amazed what being bored will do to you lol. Anyway, if I can get a decent picture of it I'll post it either here or in my portfolio. I just thought I'd rant a little about how nice it felt and that I'm really happy with how the artwork turned out. Sometimes being bored rocks! That and watching a marathon of L.A. Ink to inspire you to draw again can't hurt either lol



UPDATE

Added the pic into my port. Feel free to check it out. I like it, no one is going to change my opinion on it so keep that in mind. Anyway, I had another one but my computer some how ate it. o.o Oh well. That one is just find and it shows everything I wanted it do. Peace.

So after what Gordon said I guess she went and cut his tongue out in this torture thingy her coven does. I wasn't aware of this earlier when I wrote that she didn't stick up for me. Not only was I not aware of her doing that, I wasn't even aware covens did that kind of thing (I don't keep track of coven shit) Anyway, thank you baby. And for the record, Gordon? Right here buddy.

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MissSacha
14:23 Apr 26 2010

LOL I just starting perusing journals and I am so surprised by the coven "drama" that goes on around here.

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JustinDupree
20:21 Apr 26 2010

Yeah I understand but this wasn't coven related. He went on my girlfriends journal and commented about me in a very attacking way. So, incase he reads mine? Lol I left him a message.

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I want to rant and rave so badly but I won't because I promised my girl I wouldn't. For the record, Gordon, you don't even fucking know me. And thanks for sticking up for me Honey. *shakes his head sadly*

Okay. So last night she called me and tried to work it out and since I was pissed that she was on here instead of using the time for us I was sarcastic. Well that made her hang up. And so it pissed me off when she did that. I didn't see her calling as her trying. I only saw what I wanted to see at that moment. Then she called back a short while later. And since I was pissed about her hanging up the first time, I was a dick. I see that now. I was thinking about it all night and I realized I could have done my part a little better. It's just these past two days she's been all over the place and I'm not sure how to handle things when she's like that. When I try like I was the day before yesterday she tries and pin things on me. And then yesterday she was just so hard to get along with I forgot to try with all my might. Yesterday we both screwed up. She might not admit it but I will. I could have done a lot better. A lot better. I could have swallowed my anger and frustration and just did what was right but I didn't. So I guess what I'm saying is, I'm sorry for yesterday. I'm sorry for my half of the blame and my half of the not trying. I guess she took my journals as me saying she hasn't been trying at all. That's not true. I didn't mean it about anything in general. I was merely saying yesterday and the day before she wasn't trying as hard as she could have been. Not that she wasn't at all. I'm sorry she took it that way because I really thought we were doing great. And I know we can again. That's if she wants to work on it. I know I do. So honey, I'm sorry I was a dick. I'm sorry I didn't try as hard as I said I would and I'm sorry I said somethings that you took the wrong way. I love you. I'll work on it for next time. If you want there to be a next time.

So she blocked me again and once more I'm reminded that this site is far more important then I am to her. The sad thing is, I didn't even provoke it this time. I was understanding like she asked, I was supportive like she asked. I wasn't a dick. I wasn't a prick. I wasn't anything but nice to her and apparently good ol' VR wins again. *wipes his eyes* And so the pain begins again. So much for progress.

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DireConsequences
11:04 Apr 25 2010

You shouldn't let your day depend on someone else though.



Trust me, I know all too well about "the other half" not cooperating or the situation with them being somewhat horrid.



I recommend working things out or making a decision of whether it's worth it or not.

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JustinDupree
17:32 Apr 25 2010

Of course it's worth it for me. I'm not so sure about her but to me it's always worth it. When you love someone as much as I do her then you'll do whatever it takes to make it work. That's why I've been doing what she asked me to. That's why I've been trying to hard. That's what I don't get. These past two days she's been so out there and I don't get what I've done to cause it. I've made sure I haven't done anything mean or dushey.

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And I thought today would be a good day. *shakes his head sadly*

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DireConsequences
08:22 Apr 25 2010

*poke*



Why not mold it into a good day?

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JustinDupree
08:45 Apr 25 2010

*pokes back*



Believe you me, I tried. It's kind of hard though when the other half of the day acts like she wants to hinder your every move to make it a good day.

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I guess I know what cooling off is now.

Last night I slept like shit. Seriously. I went to sleep at like 615AM and I woke right back up at 8AM and couldn't get back to sleep. Good thing there was a Law and Order SVU marathon or whatever on because I would have died of bordom. Anyway, so I finally doze off again at 2 PM and I wake up again at like 3. Gay huh? So at like 4 I go back to sleep and sleep all the way until 10. And I wake up feeling like shit. Everything is so slow. My head is pounding and my eyes burn. It's another migrain, I know it is. I've taken two advil every 6 hours and it's not even touched it and it sucks because usually those hang on all night which means another sleepless night. Ugh, sometimes I hate insomnia.

So about a month ago I couldn't sleep and I ended up watching this show on MTV. It's called "My Life As Liz" and I don't know if you guys have seen it but that show is pretty cool BUT since that day I haven't seen it on since so I kinda started to forget about it. Anyway, I was flipping through the channels this morning, unable to sleep once again and what show did I find? My Life As Liz. And guess what episode it was? The one AFTER the last one I had seen. So it's like I never stopped watching it because apparently there's this marathon on and it's showing from the last episode I saw on meaning I get to see everything I otherwise would have missed. It's almost like the MTV Gods were like "Hmm. Lets totally reward him for being an insomniac by letting him see this show he seems to enjoy slightly. Mwahaha" and so now I'm watching that show and I remember now how Awesome it is. And Corey Cooper is a preppy little slut. I would totally like to clothesline that woman. Liz's words not mine. :D

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TheDarkWolfman
19:45 Apr 14 2010

Just go to MTV.com and watch it there...she has her own page on there.

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So I got this song I want to put on here, I heard it on MTV last night and I can't remember the name or any of the lyrics to save my life. Ugh. It's like a nagging little bug gnawing on the inside of my head. I ALMOST remember it but then I lose it again and it bugs me when that happens. Sorry for the rant. XD Just blowing steam.

The ONLY copy my local rental place has of LBP some dumb ass broke today. So that means no LBP for me unless I can somehow rob a bank and make off with an untracable $35. *sighs* Gay.

Hopefully tomorrow will be the beginning of the rest of forever. Hopefully tomorrow we really start being a team. I hope so anyway. For my sake and for hers.

I'm going to be spending today away from this site for the most part. I know she'll be spending all day on it instead of fixing what needs fixing with us. She'll call fixing it a waste of time and all that. Same as always when she's pissed. I'll have the phone though so when she's ready she can call. I won't do it on here, this site is too painful for me and on YIM it never gets taken the way I want it to. It always gets taken wrong. There's a small, a very small, chance that I'm wrong and she'll want to fix it more then be on here though and if that happens expect another entry because something that big deserves praise but I'll be honest, I don't see it happening. Not after how she acted last night involving this place. Anyway, I miss you honey. I really do. I miss my partner and my teammate. I love you baby and like always I'll be waiting for my partner to realize what she's doing.

Some people think that palm readers are the bomb. Some people think they are a crock full of shit. I'm one of the people that think this. If you go to those people, you'll believe them no matter what. No matter what they say you'll believe them. They say good things will happen, you'll be sure to be so optimistic good things will surely follow you. If they say bad things will happen, you'll spend all your time looking for the bad things and bad things will find you. I don't know about fate. I don't know about destiny. I don't know about God or any divine power. I have my belifes on those things but I have no more proof then anyone else. I do know about true love though. I do know that because I have proof. I met a girl on here back when I first joined up here. Yeah, she's full of flaws. She tells me one thing and does the oppisite. She says she'll work on things that never get worked on and she says she won't say bad things only to tear me apart verbally. BUT and this is the most important thing, BUT she is the ONLY one that can make me happy. Video games don't make me happy like they used to. People have never made me happy. Sunshine and rainbows don't make me smile and butterfiles don't brighten my day. She does. She makes me happy, she makes me smile, she brings me bliss when she chooses to. I told her today something and it means nothing now. I know it doesn't. She's made that clear that when I told her this it was all in vain, but here it is for the world to see because it's true.



When I look at her, truely and really look at her? I see my future. I see my life. And when I look away? I picture her. And I picture my future with her. I picture her as the mother of my children. The wife I'll always love and the girl of my dreams because she's awesome when she's on my side. She rocks. Sometimes she chooses to be on the wrong side. Sometimes she's mean and hateful. Sometimes she's a prick. But she's mine and I love her. Regardless of how she feels about me, that girl is my everything. I just wish I could be hers.

Who knew a bunch of coding and pretty colors, a bunch of people who will never know you the way I do, a bunch of numbers and ratings, forums and club houses would mean more to a girl then the guy who never gives up on her. I'll continue to fight for you, baby, no matter who or what you put above me. I love you that much. And maybe someday I can be as special to you as all these people. Too bad you'll never see that they can't love you like I do, no matter how hard they try.

So I was talking to my girl right? She's been getting on here ALOT lately. So much so that she was even getting on here while she was talking to me, something she never used to do. Then a while back she said somethings, did somethings and I ended up hurt. I won't go into it. Anyway, point is, she was more worried about what I wrote here, about what you people thought about her then about the pain I was feeling. So anyway, we came to a conclusion that she wouldn't get on here while she talked to me. Sometimes she did it, sometimes she didn't. The past two days she didn't and I was so greatful. But today she told me something. She said she couldn't even open the web browser without feeling tempted to get on here. So, I tried to ask her about it. To understand her was my goal. I asked her why she felt that way and instead of explaining it to me she just went off on me. Flipped it into something it wasn't even though she said she'd work on that. She did her whole "We're not meant to be" statements again. She gets pissed and she sees only her way, tunnel vision if you will and there's no talking to her until she calms down. Then she tells me that until I move to where she is that VR will always be more important then I am. *sighs* I had a feeling that was the case. When you choose a website over your husband then that's kinda sad. But I've dealt with sad stuff from her before, I'll do it again. I just wish for ONCE she would do what she said and be my partner instead of my enemy. I told her that we'd make a deal. Whenever the other was being a prick we'd say "I wish you'd be my partner." well I'm invoking my partner clause now just like I know she would if I was flipping out over nothing. I wish you'd be my partner baby, instead of my enemy. I meant nothing bad. I just wanted to know the facts. *sighs* I'll be waiting when you're ready. I love you baby.

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Armand
08:23 Apr 09 2010

dont wait up cuz i wont spend my night fighting with you. good night

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JustinDupree
08:24 Apr 09 2010

I never wanted a fight to begin with. I only wanted to understand you love. Like I said. I'll be waiting baby. Your partner will always be waiting for you.

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You're wrong baby. I did NOT take all of those things for granted. I was trying to understand you. All you had to do was explain to me instead of getting all defensive. I can't win with you. Everytime something doesn't go your way you say things like "we're not meant to be" or "I'm breaking up" and it's all for what? You don't take the time to realize I was trying to do something nice. To get what you feel and to understand you better but no, you'd rather hang up and be pissy instead of taking it for what it is. And yeah, you'll probably delete this so I'll put it on my page too. I love you. I'll be waiting for you when you're ready to be my partner again.

I started a game for God of War 3 on Titan mode (hard mode) today. It seems to me like it's a little more difficult then I had first anticipated. Posiden killed me like 5 times and on my first play through ever on normal he didn't even kill me once. Although I now have all the Gorgon eyes on normal, I think I can remember where the majority of them are for Titan. If not then I'll just get a walkthrough for it. You'd think I'd have no trouble though considering I've finished the game on normal 3 times already and have gotten all of the eyes on two of the three playthroughs. On my first playthrough I only missed one and it happened to be the first one you get XD Epic huh? rofl

I think it's funny that people think just because you get a 1 and all that then that means you get to go off on people about it. This is just a freaking website. It's not anything to even worry about. People need to grow up and move on. God I'm so sick of this fucking site.

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Nightgame
00:37 Apr 08 2010

You're right, if your profile deserves a 1 then you ought to keep your mouth shut and work on making it better instead but if your profile deserves better there is nothing wrong with politely asking why or what do you need to do to make it better. But sometimes it's not so much about the rate as the nastiness that accompanies it that makes the difference. But you are right it's just a website and rates don't really matter in the true scheme of things. It's not like my giving out a 10 will solve world hunger, now is it?

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JustinDupree
00:41 Apr 08 2010

Exactly. My point exactly. It won't solve world hunger. So people shouldn't make a big deal about it. I know a person who absolutely HAS to deal with stupid shit on here and to be it's compeltly pointless. Let people rate me a ten. Let people rate me a one. It won't make a single bit of difference on my thoughts about my page, my thoughts about myself, or the thoughts of my friends about my page. Some people are shallow like that and rates matter more then anything. *rolls his eyes about it*

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TheRat
00:43 Apr 08 2010

You should read RedQueen journal and some comments on it. Some just take it too far.

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Okay, what the fuck is up with making the kismet a censored representation of your personality? Come on people, if you don't want to read swearing, don't look at that persons kismet. I really don't see the point of having a censored kismet. It's not like they're are super serious Christains who come here to a VAMPIRE site hoping they don't see the world "Bitch" it's like come on. I think from now on I'll just make a journal entry with my REAL kismet in it and put it in the spell portion of my journal since I never put anything there anyway. That way I'm not censored. Then again, admins will probably begin to censor journals next and then it's China all over again.

So I guess people have been bitching about being rated between 1 and 10? Uh.. Wow? That's partly why part of me hates this site. Too much drama. I don't care what I'm rated. I really don't. You people don't know me, you never will and so if I get a 1 from you, great. I'm glad you saw fit to rate me at all. I couldn't care less what I'm rated. It's that simple. If my profile was rated a 1.111 out of ten then I really wouldn't feel any different then if it was rated a 10.000 because ratings mean very very very little to me. I'm only here for one person so that's all that matters to me. I personally think the admins should stay out of it. People need to realize this. If you get "harassing" messages, you block the person. Plain and simple. Admins need to send a message saying that. Cancer should remove the "overblock" feature and just let people block whoever they want. If someone is really bothering you that much, you don't whine to admins about it, you block them and move on. Same with people rating you a 1. Big fucking deal. Not everyone is going to like your page. You grow up and you deal with it. It's just like on the streets. Not everyone is going to like you. You deal with it. That's just my two cents. Rate me a 1 all you want. I really don't care because 90% of the time, I rate what I'm given anyway. So you're only screwing yourself.

"Yeah, I'll try again because for some crazy reason I keep comming back" When will she realize that it's obvious we're made for each other? When will she realize I'd walk through hell to find her? When will she realize we belong together more fully and completly then anyone else could ever give us? I'm a filthy hipocrite for saying this because I've given a lot of people shit for doing just this but I'm going to give a quote perhaps even she'll see the meaning in.



"Do you think I’ll ever get better at this? That my heart might someday stop trying to jump out of my chest whenever you touch me? "



Once she reads this, she'll either A) Get pissed off for some unknown reason or B) See I go to great lenghts to get her to understand how I tick. If she would only stop and think where she's heard this before, it would speak volumes. Where she heard it and who said it. She'd see I care more for her then even my devoted dislike of certain things. WE ARE FUCKING MEANT TO BE GET USED TO IT! The sooner you do that baby, the sooner we can be partners.



"I want us to be happy, no, not even that much. I want us to not be miserable."



This is more evidence with the same catch as the last quote. This one is paraphrased but the meaning and reference is there.

Aracon makes a valid point with her kinsmet.



"Don't be so judgemental, you get what you give."



Baby, we both need to practice that.

Okay, maybe I over reacted last night about the whole voice thing but I'm not the only one who did.

To me there are 3 forms of love. And ONLY 3 forms. In my opinion you can only love in these three forms. Most people don't agree with my methods but I really don't care. This is the way I think and it's done me nothing but good things so far.



Love for Friends- To love a friend who has earned your trust. This is simple. There are always going to be friends who are either borderline or practically family. You can love them in a way only a friend can be loved.



Love for Family- To love your blood. People will always love their parents, aunts, uncles, cousins, brothers and sisters. You may not want to but you do. You can love your family for many reasons or none at all. It's how it is.



Love for Your Spouse- To love the one you've chosen to spend the rest of your life with. People will say this one is the grey area. You can love the person you're with. You can be IN love with them or you can have no love at all in any way shape or form and still be with them. There is no grey area for me. I love my girl, I'm in love with her and I have every form of love there is to have for her, with her, and to her.



So those are my three guide lines. I follow these. I don't say things like "Oh, I love that shirt" because it doesn't fall into my guides. I don't say "Oh, I love her hair" because of the same reason. There is only one RARE exception. I say "I love this video game." Yeah, a lot of you are thinking "WTF? Childish!" but it's not when you find out why. I say it because I love the feeling it gives me. I remember why I'm with my girl when I play certain games. Even if I got it way before I met her. I see the story, the plot and the characters and I think "That describes us perfectly" and it's true. They do. Some games just describe my girl and I to a perfect T. And so I don't love the actual game persay, I love the feeling it gives me which pretains to her.



So there you go. You don't have to agree. You don't have to like it, you don't have to hate it, you don't have to have any type of opinion at all. I don't care. This is how I work, my way and nothing anyone can say will change it. Now you guys know a little more about me and hopefully the ONE person I want to read this will so she can understand a little more what makes me tick. And yes, I speak of my girl for the rest of you I need not your understanding nor your acceptance. :D

I'm not going to sit here and play the victim even if I got hurt last night. Yeah, I'm a jealous guy. I don't take it to the extreame though, not in my eyes anyway. She may think I do but I'm pretty mild about it. I don't over react on most things. I have a very defined definition of the word love and it's a challenge keeping an open mind when that word is used in a way that is out of my definition. I don't throw it out there, I don't over use it and I rarely say it outside of my own definitions. Sure there are a few rare exceptions but for the most part I stay within my guidlines. To hear her use it in her own way, it's hard for some reason. Maybe it's a form of OCD, I seriously don't know. Usually I can handle it. Usually I do right by it but sometimes I let my irrational feelings of jealousy leak out and sometimes she has a hard time being understanding, like tonight. She says it's about me being insecure but it's not that. Not really. My jealousy doesn't stem from that. I just take pride in her saying she loves my voice only to hear her say it again about someone else. I can't tell her about it right now though because she doesn't want to hear it. I know it's irrational. I know it's illogical. I know it has very little grounds and I know it's kinda counter productive but I refuse to feel badly for how I feel. So if me leaking my jealousy to unintentionally rear it's ugly head maybe 1 out of 50 times is bad then that sucks for you. I think I do a pretty good job of keeping it under wraps. I went from plotting mental murder (No, I'd never really do it... or would I?) to a mere vocal cord theft. I think people would take burglery over homicide any day of the week. At least I don't make attempts to forbid her to do anything against my ideas. People like that suck. I wouldn't even if I could because I'm better then that. I can deal with my issues and her issues. I just wish I could get the favor returned. Random ranting. Please carry on. XD

I had a weird dream today. I dreamed I was on a level with sackboy and we were trapped in this huge mario level with the little plant guys chomping away at every exit. There was only one pipe that didn't have a fly trap on it and so we were contimplating whether to jump into it or not. Sackboy then tossed a goomba into the pipe and nothing happened so we played rock paper scissors to see who would jump first. After about 20 tries I lost so I had to go first. Once I jumped in I got stuck half way because the pipe got smaller on the way down so sackboy had to jump on my head over and over to get me down and once I got to the bottom I woke up. Yep, you guessed it, with a headache. No more watching Little Big Planet levels on youtube before I got to sleep anymore. XD

So I think my status thingy is fucked up. Earlier about an hour ago I had 40% of level 73 done. Yay go me. Well now it says I only have 4%. I find that big of a gap to be odd. Oh well no worries, levels mean very little to me anymore, I just thought that was funny lol. XD

So I was reading her journal last night and guess what? She wrote about me! Yay! Go me! It's like wow. I was suprised because I wasn't expecting it. I was so happy when I read it because it's good to hear good things about you especially when you've read a lot of bad things. I smiled so big when I read it. I was really happy to see she thought so highly of me. I've always had a hunch but reading the good things she said just confirmed it. I'm glad I read it and I'm even gladder (That a word? it is now XD) that she wrote it. I'm so happy I can hardly contain myself. :D Thank you love. For everything. *air hugs*

Okay, so I go to check out the profile of that fag I just blocked right? EternalBeing31? And there is no such user. How curious, no? That this person would agree so much with StarDushe yet wouldn't stick around? All this after StarDushe looks at my page again for god only knows what reason? That's halarious, Dushe. Good one you almost had me going. You almost had me. Bravo. I almost unblocked you for that simple fact but then I realized how much of a dushe you are. LOL! Nice one.

Well another dumb ass commented on my journal entry when I asked everyone not to. God some people are just dumb. This one though wasn't too bad. The retard just told me I was the one who needed to grow up, saying shit like "Oh, the person who tells another to grow up is the first one who needs to grow up" and trying to spew "oh, respect is earned" well I got news for you dude, yeah, respect is earned. You and Stardushe have no respect from me because you've done nothing to earn it. You've done the complete oppisite. I didn't ask you retards to read my page. I don't care who reads it but when I say not to comment I would think no one should comment. I don't go off commenting on your pages so leave mine alone. You too have met the block button and anyone who is STILL dumb enough to comment on that entry will meet it as well. There are over 200 other entries you people can comment on. That ONE entry will earn you the block button. So don't be a StarDushe or a RetardalBeing. Just leave the fucking page alone and the block staff will not strike you.

It's almost like those pictures I put in here of Sackboy are haunting me! XD Curse you and your unique gaming experience Sackboy!

I wanna make my own Little Big Planet level! ='(

OMG! Little Big Planet Collectors Edition is now on the Greatest Hits list. I must sell my kidney on the black market to gain the $35 to purchase this. :D

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Nd5C3OyJdEM



I am amazed

When I look at you

I see you smiling back at me

It's like all my dreams come true

I am afraid

If I lost you girl

I'd fall through the cracks

And lose my track in this crazy lonely world



Sometimes it's so hard to believe

When the nights can be so long

And faith gave me the strength

And kept me holding on



Chorus

You are the love of my life

And I'm so glad you found me

You are the love of my life

Baby put your arms around me

I guess this is how it feels

When you finally find something real

My angel in the night

You are my love

The love of my life



Now here you are

With midnight closing in

You take my hand as our shadows dance

With moonlite on you skin



I look in your eyes

I'm lost inside your kiss

I think if I'd never met you

About all the things I'd missed



Sometimes it's so hard to believe

when a love can be so strong

and faith gave me the strength

and kept me holding on



You are the love of my life

And I'm so glad you found me

You are the love of my life

Baby put your arms around me

I guess this is how it feels

When you finally find something real

My angel in the night

You are my love

The love of my life



You are the love of my life

And I'm so glad you found me

You are the love of my life

Baby put your arms around me

I guess this is how it feels

When you finally find something real

My angel in the night

You are my love

My angel in the night

You are my love

The love of my life

The love of my life

So I wrote a journal entry last night. One for mainly two people to read. Me and her. Then some dumb ass called Stardancer or whatever comes and comments on it. Saying how I wrote it in a public journal and all that. How they'll comment on it if they want. And the thing is this. I don't care. I don't care what Stardancer says. This is MY fucking journal. MY Fucking page and I'll write whatever the fuck I want in it. I don't go to your pages and write a bunch of nonsense comments. I don't trespass on your page. I think Stardancer is one of THOSE people. Yeah, you know the one who walks into a crowded room and just starts slapping off at the mouth with the most retarded shit they can think of just to get attention. I didn't write my journal for Stardancer. I didn't write my journal for anyone on here but me and my girl. That's how it's always been. If you don't like what I have to say on my page, suck it. It's that simple. So this goes out to all those people like Stardancer. Grow the fuck up, get the fuck out and shut the fuck up. No one wants to hear your bile. BLOCKED! :D



AND FOR ANYONE ELSE WHO DECIDES TO BE STUPID ON MY PAGE? YOU'LL MEET THIS SAME FATE! I have never paid attention to the over block feature that messes with your status, and I never will. :D

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DarkSeductions
20:25 Apr 01 2010

lol thats funny.

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So after talking to her I've come to find something out. She doesn't hate me as a person. She hates my actions sometimes. My words. I totally understand because I make poor choices sometimes. Sometimes I say things and do things and later on I look back and I think "Why the hell did you do that, say that?" and it's puzzling to me because I don't wany to be that guy. The guy who says shit on a whim and means very little of it. I haven't slept a decent nights sleep for about a week now. I think the reason I blew up today was because it finally caught up with me. 3 hours a day for 7-8 days but I'm not making an excuse I'm just giving a reason. Today just felt really bad and I let it get out of hand and for that I'm sorry. I hate the way I do things sometimes too. I hate some of the things I say as well so I can understand where she's comming from. I told her everything in my heart tonight. The truest form of everything I feel came out and that's all I can do. I can't say anything else that means anymore when what I've already said. The ball is in her court now and after talking tonight I feel we can get past it. It's up to her though. No more tears, no more hopeless feelings. I did all I can do. I told her the truth about the way I feel about her and that's all I can do. It's her choice whether or not to pursue a relationship with me. I hope she does but I accept that it's her choice to make. She's a smart girl. She's bloody brillant actually so she'll make the choice she thinks is best. All I can do now is wait and see.



AND before any of you come here and comment on how I'm stupid or whatever for wanting a relationship with her or whatever bile you want to spew, it's going to fall on deaf ears. My relationships are mine. If it's a mistake, I'll find out soon enough. If it's a mistake it's mine to make. No one elses. So please, no petty comments about how I'm too good for her or that she deserves better. We both know we offer the other exactly what that person needs. You people don't know her like I do and you never will so please, on this matter, keep your options to yourself. BUT feel free to comment on my poetry or any other journal entry I have. I did one not long ago about a really good psx emulator. Feel free to comment on that but please stay out of my love life. Thanks, I appreciate the concern but I've got this one.

COMMENTS

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StarDancer
09:08 Apr 01 2010

You posted this in an open journal for the public to read.. so people are going to post their opinions whether you like it or not. If you want people to stay out of your love life, then you shouldn't post it out in public like this. And in my opinion of your so called relationship.. I could really give a flying fuck less how the two of you treat each other. Thats life, deal with it.

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JustinDupree
17:20 Apr 01 2010

Stardancer-

Yeah asshole, MY public journal. My journal, my page. If you don't give a fuck, don't fucking read it. I didn't ask you to come to my page. I don't fucking know you. I don't know anything about you and I don't give two fucks what you think about my life. So therefore, you can go the fuck away. Plain and simple. Meet the block button. I think I'll make an entry to show all the dumb asses like yourself. :D

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MyDreamWorld
18:16 Apr 02 2010

In some way, I kind of agree with StarDancer. Yes, it is your page, but you DID make it public so people are going to read it and try to get into your love life because of that.

I mean no offense, so please don't take it that way.

But, if you DO want people to stay out of it, I suggest the *private* option.

That way, you can choose who reads it and everyone else can keep their noses out. ^_^

Anyway, I hope things get better for you.

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JustinDupree
18:32 Apr 02 2010

Yeah but it is still MY page and if people don't respect me enough to not comment when I directly ask them not to then they have no business reading my page. While you and others may agree with the asshole, It's still my page and I think only people who actually care enough to respect someone should read their journal. If I read someones journal I care enough that if I see "please don't comment" especially if it's put in a nice way then I won't comment no matter how badly I want to. It's all about respect. And I don't even know this dushe so they really have no business commenting on my journal anyway. If they don't like what they read they can get the fuck out. I'm sure you can agree with that too.

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MyDreamWorld
19:03 Apr 02 2010

Yea, I get what you're saying. But think about this, if everyone's journal is viewable, everyone can see it, right?

And a lot of people only skim read to begin with.

It doesn't matter if they know you or not, they'll comment.

I'm not here to fight with you I'm just trying to point out that not a lot of people think the way you do.

Not everyone thinks like SD does either.

Some may listen, some may not.

And if you don't like their comments, you can always delete them, true?

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JustinDupree
19:17 Apr 02 2010

Yeah. Whatever. I don't care enough to continue this. Anyone who acts like starduche does and they'll get blocked. Plain and simple. Thank you come again.

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JustinDupree
20:31 Apr 04 2010

I'M DOING THIS IN ALL CAPS SO NO ONE ELSE SENDS ME A COMMENT SAYING THIS. I DO NOT HAVE A PREMY MEMBERSHIP SO I CANNOT DO A PRIVATE ENTRY!!!!!!!! JUST LEAVE THE FUCKING PAGE ALONE! FUCK!

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So I've only had an hour and a half maybe a little less sleep today. It's hard because I walked for about and hour straight and had to wait on a train for 25 minutes standing up with one of the big 25 lbs bag of cat food on my shoulder. Then I get home and I try to watch a movie and eat and I'm too tired to even do that so I can't finish my movie, I can't finish my meal because I'm closing my eyes every 5 seconds. Then I can't get to sleep because my dad and my brother are having it out and it's just been an UGH day. Then when I do finally get to sleep I decided to wake up on time so I could talk to my girl. She means that much to me. But it's all in vain really because she wants me to be a certain way and it's just UGH. The only plus to today so far was it didn't rain while I was out there holding that stupid cat food. I hate days like today where I feel all weak and tired and sore for no reason. Add all that in with the fact that I didn't eat much and it's a recipe for disaster. I just wish the one person who matters the most to me could see that a little understanding goes a long way. If you guys had a day like this could you be excited or chipper? Could you sound all happy and giddy? If you can then you're got your shit together far better then I do.