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Ever woke up in a mood where you actually are so distant and detached that nothing that usually matters feels like it will today? I don't wake up like this. I don't. I wake up in a good mood 90% of the time. What on hells creation would make me wake up like this? Oh well. Given my mood I don't really care. Thanks for reading.

~Drifts into the shadows and vanishes~

It's funny how a simple act of kindness can make or break your day. Always it seems that the latter or the two is the one to occure. But not this week. I recieved in the mail on April 18, 2007 three paintings done by a very close friend. I expected one and I did not expect that to come for sometime. Alas I got three and they came as a suprise. My, my, was I suprised. The paintings were amazingly done, of course. I wish I could show them to you all. Egyptatin was the catagory and they were beautiful beyond means. I have never seen art rendered so clean, flawless, and pure in all my 18 years on this planet. The paintings done by hand were so vivid. So detailed. So exceptionally georgous. The paper look as that you would find in Ancient Egypt back in the old days. Papyrus was the name. Made in this case from everyday computer paper it was made to look like the papyrus. It did. I actually questioned wether it had been made on papyrus or not. I was told no, that the paper was made to look like that and so it did. Masterfully. And these three paintings made me happy, oh yes, beyong happy. "Giddy" doesn't even begin to discribe the feeling. I smiled, I cried, I love them. Now three of my most prized possitions I thank you. My dearest Artist. You know who you are. I love those painings. And never will I look at them and not smile regardless of my mood. They will be on my wall for eternity, the frames protecting and holding them, honoring them like they so deserve. So it comes to this, that simple gester changed my whole mood. I went from happy to beyond happy in a matter of minutes. This person can make or break souls with her art. She's tremendious. A wonderful person and one of my most treasured friends. A friend whom I would give anything so she could find happiness as I have with Ryan. I would do anything to make this friend of mine smile everyday. I love you my artist and I always will. Always will you be one of my very best friends. I thank you from the deepest of my soul and heart. Your art was not wasted on I. I'll enjoy it always. Rest assured, your art was not in vain.

Ever had the feeling something bad is going to happen and you have no fucking clue as to what it is? Ever had the feeling that you're being warned about something and then you can't figure out what it is you should look out for? God, I hate this feeling. Every single time I've had a bad feeling like this, some shit has happened. It's like fucking clock work. You could set your watch to it.



"Justin's got one of those feelings, get the bomb shelter ready!"



Seriously though, Why can't I understand what this feeling means? Why can't I figure it the fuck out? Why am I always in the dark? This is MY LIFE I CONTROL IT! So why can't I fucking just tell myself when something bad is about you happen. It should go like this.



"Hey Self! Yeah, your fucking shoe is untied, you're about to trip!"



~ties his shoe so he doesn't fall~



Why can't it be that easy? Why?