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FLOWER PORN (I am Violenta. Irony is my good friend, Ku. The rest of this nutty cast belong to friends on an IRC channel I help moderate.)
01:14 Nov 29 2007
Times Read: 953

This is why I love my friends so much...the ability to run with the craziest idea and make it funny and sick :)



LadySlinky> are you a vegetable terrian Violenta?

Violenta> I just partake of the green, man

Christoff> I hope it is from free range veggies

Violenta> dude, don't make me sad for the veggies

LadySlinky> I like mine bbq'd

Christoff> I like glazed baby carrots that are raised in cages.

Violenta> If I start feeling sad for the veggies, I shall have but one option left

LadySlinky> there really is veggie haggis!

Irony> cannibalism!

Violenta> Yes!

Violenta> I hate people :)

LadySlinky> I had a reverend once that had that dilemma V

Irony> ally says he would be happy to eat people meat because people can give consent

Violenta> I like ally :)

LadySlinky> it only lasted about a week till she went back to being vegan.

Violenta> from being a cannibal?

LadySlinky> no she quit eating

Violenta> oh

Irony> thats silly, all fruits at least are tasty because the plants want animals to eat them

Violenta> yes, true, Irony! Well Said!

Irony> "Eat me! Shit out my seed somewhere nice kthx!"

Violenta> We are actually being manipulated by the plant when we eat its fruit

Violenta> the plants are using me!!!

LadySlinky> oh the wily plant

Irony> perhaps she didn’t want to think of herself as part of the sex cycle of a plant

Violenta admires Irony's sepals and gets a strap on stamen for later *eyebrow wriggle*

sarasvati> I'll foil those wily plants! I am potty trained!

Irony purrs and winks suggestively at Violenta

Violenta> oooh, if I don't shave my legs, I can luxuriate in your sticky pollen!

Irony> absolutely!

LadySlinky> you know that’s why mowers are so loud. to muffle the thousands of tiny little screams.

Christoff> omg plant porn

Violenta 's anther twitches

Irony> yes, the sounds of thousands of tiny grass voices screaming at the bad haircut they just recieved

sarasvati> boom chick-pea waa-wah

Christoff> I have an electric mower I have to wear ear plugs to keep from hearing the screaming

Irony> "Noooo I was trying to grow that outtttt!"

Christoff> long haired hippie grass

Irony> grass has a right to have an emo haircut dammit!

Violenta> I cut myself just to know that I groooowwwww *grass emo*

Irony> I dont cut grass because I simply can't be arsed

LadySlinky> I wish my grass was emo so it would cut itself

Violenta buzzes around Irony, eyeballing her nectar

Irony shivers her stem for Violenta

Violenta kumquats!

Violenta> okok...I'm done now

Bottoms Up
05:26 Nov 26 2007
Times Read: 990

On 09:11:37 Nov 22 2007 Joli wrote:



Thank you for your breath. I shall treasure it always.



On 09:09:51 Nov 22 2007 Darkness79 wrote:



Very beautiful profile my lady, breath taking. I enjoyed my stay.

Damn you, Stabb, and your Scrabble logic
12:52 Nov 24 2007
Times Read: 1,006

OK, at first I laughed at him. But dammit, he's right. It SHOULD be "humile." When I pointed out that the root of "humility" was "humble" and not the non-word, "humile" that he was attempting to play, he said, "That's crazy. If that's the case, the noun should be 'humbility.' "



But, hey, dude...your people started this crazy language!

Tofurkin good!
12:38 Nov 24 2007
Times Read: 1,011






So, this is what I bought for thanksgiving this year. Just an FYI...Tofurky to-sucks.



And a further tip, when discussing with a group of religious women who are talking about duck, do not make a wise ass remark while still relishing the fun of speaking, "tofurky." Apparently "tofu" + "turkey" make a nice blend. "tofu + "duck," not so much. Another of my stellar moments.



Come, walk with me and I will take you back to the time when I was discussing Paul being "prostate" before the Lord. Yes, kiddies, I really said that.

The gentleman doth protest too much, methinks.
20:17 Nov 21 2007
Times Read: 1,034

He's so full of it! As soon as one game ends, he opens the next one! I think it's that he likes a a good beating!



Come back for more! I'll even give you all the "zeds." :)



I found this in his journal:



Being a total novice at this game and starting from a position of never having played before, to go up against an English major with years of experience was a mighty challenge.



Not that I don't like a woman of experience, but perhaps next time I'm asked to play, I may respond with...



"I'd love to, but I just can't be arsed."

OMG! It happened!
23:55 Nov 20 2007
Times Read: 1,073

Check the stars for horsemen!



Stabb beat me at Scrabble

(Literati on Yahoo)







His score: 258

Mine: 248



I am still in shock that this actually took place.

Fun With Words
19:04 Nov 20 2007
Times Read: 1,062

We need better expletives and sayings in America. My new favorite comes from England via Stabb.



"can't be arsed"



I know it's probably impossible to imagine, but he has just the slightest of an attitude. He most often uses the phrase in a way like:



"Well, I'd like to help you, but I can't be arsed."





And you should hear the things he says when I beat him at Scrabble...and I do!!! (And boy is he going to love that I shared that.)

Awesome New Verb
19:25 Nov 19 2007
Times Read: 1,077

I broke out the sandwich grill for the first time last night and "white trashed" myself a grilled cheese.

PRIVATE ENTRY
09:39 Nov 16 2007
Times Read: 1,114


• • • • PRIVATE JOURNAL ENTRY • • • •

"What goes into the well comes up with the bucket."
08:19 Nov 16 2007
Times Read: 1,120

I want to yell, "Well, what did you think would happen?!" But I don't. You don't stop telling...you tell and you tell and again I want to yell.



I want to yell that I need to get behind your story to the need, the real need. I can't help the story. I have to have that part you don't want to tell me, the dirty bits called "truth." Your whole life is about the missing piece and you don't even realize it.



Do you skirt the mirror over the sink and stand sideways as you brush your teeth in the morning, spitting with your eyes closed, all so you don't see? Or is this a show for me? "Look here! lots to see here...just don't look over there!"



And when you have taken my help...when you have taken my help and gone into your day, I notice that you don't look back. Do you even remember that you were here, drinking from my well? Did you think to look into the well before you made your wish?