The Ultimate Vampire Resource and Directory

A rather worn face was barely visible in the posh chair placed haphazardly in the dim and sparsely furnished room. Across from him sat a man, covered in chain-mail and armour, rather trembling and seeming rather uncomfortable; no so much from the cold in the room, but from fear of the unknown. Breaking the silence he suddenly spoke in at first an overly loud voice, but immediately controlled himself and lowered his tone.



Interviewer (I): "Have you..." he paused "be a vampire all your life?"



Daywalker (D): "Ah you speak English, I know this language well... " an uncomfortable pause... then continued "Depends on if you consider my lífe to be a life or an unlife. I personally consider it a life. And to answer honestly, I was turned."



I: "Do you remember who turned you?"



D: "It was so long ago, yet all I still recall is that it was a female. She looked rather scruffy, but she did have a strange allure about her."



I: "How did you two meet?"



D: "I was on a journey to find a new home for myself. See, the village my family was in was attacked and destroyed. All were killed!" More lengthy pause with slight signs of deep recollection then continuing... "All this is unimportant now, the place where I am from is now deep in the Mare Balthicvm... oh wait, you know it as the Baltic Sea. Pardon me."



I: "So you've been back to your real home, or should I say, close to it anyways?"



D: "Yes I have, once. It was, like I said, a LONG time ago. And I have traveled the world, at first to seek answers to my new 'condition', then later once I had accepted my fate, I sought to find others like me. And I did. However, many of them were hunted down and killed, others I haven't seen since once we parted ways."



I: "You're saying there are more out there?"



D: "Obviously! One of them even managed to start this whole mythology. You've most likely heard of the tale of Dracula."



I: "Yes, I have!"



D: "Okay, but did you know, it wasn't really Vlad who was sucking blood. That was merely what the people who knew and dealt with his Majesty Vlad Ţepeş, were so appalled by his actions that they simply called him a vampire. It's like calling someone Attila or a Nazi. Everyone knows it's not mean literally. It's just a name. So the name Dracula became synonymous with vampire and the rest is history. I once met the actual vampire who caused the Transylvanian townsfolk to panic. His name was 'Michi' and he was initially drawn to the smell of blood coming from Vlad's residences -- yes he had more than one. I have never heard from since. I presume he's either dead or hibernating."



I: "That's interesting, no one has ever mentioned that before."



D: "Why should they? The mere mention of vampire back in those days was as terrifying as flashing rival gang signs today when you're not even in a gang."



I: "Do you think Vampire gangs exist?"



D: "Don't be preposterous. Vampires are creatures of the night and usually keep to themselves, except a few weaker ones who ally themselves with other stronger vamps."



I: "Aha, some DO form gangs!"



D: "Don't assume anything, Mr. Faraday. Vampires do not congregate in packs, groups or tribes, unless it is for their immediate survival. Once the threat is over, they disperse once more."



I: "I take it you've dispersed before?"



D: "Are you trying to be facetious with me? I don't take kindly to such remarks!"



I: "I am sorry Sir. Um... so you're supposed to be a daywalker, that means you can go out in daylight, right?"



D: "Duh......... I am warning you!"



I: "Ok, sorry again. How did you learn that you could walk in daylight?"



D: "Better question. Well, to start at the beginning, I would say it wasn't always like this. I did burn at first, but over the first thousand years I managed to gradually overcome that by exposing myself to more and more light. I tell you, it was not fun to be stuck in dark caves for the day time hours. Later I managed to use dusk and dawn to help me get used to daylight again. Soon I was able to walk in sunlight, but I still burn, just slowly now. My body has managed to tolerate the light, as have my eyes, however I do prefer the darkness, so I tend to limit my outside time."



I: "I hate to annoy you with petty questions, but maybe... um... perhaps I can rephrase the question. Do you believe that in the early days, when other vampires were hiding in caves that if someone saw a vampire enter a cave, do you suppose they thought the bats that flew out of them to be a transformed vampire?"



D: "Not sure if I totally understand your question, but I believe you are hinting at the myth that a vampire turns into bat-form to get into tight places. *laughs* That's is just that, a myth. No vampire can change form, they merely have fangs all the time and look human all the time, and no, we don't sleep upside-down, nor do we turn into mist either. That's pure Hollywood at work to add suspense to their lackluster movies back then."



I: "Alright, so what else has Hollywood gotten wrong?"



D: "You're asking questions which answers must be kept under the rose, my friend. I am growing tired of these repetitive questions. Ask me something which has not yet been asked."



I: "Um, okay then... *thinks deeply* Alrighty, if a human is bitten they turn into a vampire, right?"



D: "Mr. Faraday, I bid thee caution!"



I: "No wait, have a good point. If a vampire comes from a human, then do animals become vampires too if they're bitten?"



D: "Ok, I forgive you, that is a question I haven't heard before. I am not sure as to why anyone would want to turn an animal, for they have no self control and go merely upon instinct. However, I do have my theory that if someone bit a wolf or cat or another animal that it would result in an unstable species which you today know as werewolves, were-cats and other mutations thereof. That is, of course, if the animal survived the bite. Now if not to turn the prey, normally if I have to feed, the blood of an animal will suffice, however it isn't what we should be drinking."



I: "Why is that?"



D: "Well, the blood of an animal is deficient in some aspects, whereas human blood contains everything we need to survive. But to add to the previous question, any animal found to have been 'turned' is usually dealt with swiftly. If not enslaveable like werewolves are, they do provide a good meal."



I: "A meal? You drink their blood again?"



D: "If they can be subdued yes, and I also mean eaten."



I: "I thought vampires only drank blood!"



D: "What little you know of vampires. We eat just as any human does, the body cannot regenerate quickly enough if we only consumed blood. Do you know know anything of human biology?"



I: "Uh yeah, I do."



D: "Well, perhaps I must remember that you've only been on this planet for a mere 36 years, Mr. Faraday, by my time-line you're still an infant. After 7040 years, the knowledge I possess tends to out-rival anyone else... well, except for an older vampire."



I: "7000 years old, holy shit! There can't be many vampires older than you. Can there?"



D: "I won't tell you details, but I will say there are a couple score left that still exist, but they exist due to their xenophobic behaviour. We're thankful that the majority of younger and unfit vampires 'clan up'. It makes them easier for hunters to kill them off. We don't want our houses to be polluted with their kind."



I: "I thought you said Vampires do not form groups!"



D: "We don't! You misunderstood me. When I speak of a Vampire House, what it means is not the Hollywood reference to a house with vampires residing in it. Think of a House as more like an affiliation -- more like an Internet group on Myspace or that wonderful website Vampire Rave. Their groups allow members to communicate, exchange ideas and yet remain apart from everyone. In fact, I too have an account there."



I: "Where?"



D: "You're being facetious again aren't you."



I: "No Sir, I am being serious."



D: "Both and I will admit to being on other sites.



I: "Other sites.... like what, you're a Vampire on Facebook too?"



D: "Ha ha, yes and no. I don't openly admit to being a vampire. I only divulge that to select individuals who can handle knowing what I am. Next question please. Something off the wall please, I need to be amused."



I: "Uh okay Sir. Do you have any pets!"



D: *ROARS with laughter* Now THAT is a good question. Most people think we just eat animals or humans if they're near, but that's not the case. We only need a little bit of blood in our diet and our pets wouldn't be happy if we bit them all the time. I own two cats and they think nothing of my fangs, because they have some too. I treat them like my daughters, precious and needing protection and shelter. They are adorable little creatures."



I: "So vampires have a weakness?"



D: "What do you mean weakness, our compassion doesn't vanish once we've been turned. If and when we overcome the initial blood-lust stage, we learn to control our emotions and stabilize our feelings. We still love and hate like all humans do. Some of us have learned to be more stoic than others."



I: "I wish to thank you for giving me the chance to do this interview with you..."



D: "It was a pleasure indeed."



I: "Perhaps we could do another interview soon? Hello? *lengthy pause and silence* Where did he go? Oh gawd! Oh shit! *panic sets in* Fuck fuck fuck!!!



D: "I am right here Mr. Faraday. I am hungry now and I've invited you for dinner, you're the main course!"



There is a struggle and the sickening sound of a gurgling throat. A few thuds in the dark and finally the rustle of a clothed body being dragged across the concrete floor.



D: "Thank you for the offer, Mr. Faraday, but I only give interviews ONCE... and chain-mail doesn't prevent fangs."

COMMENTS

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LadyChordewa
21:20 May 18 2009

Wonderful Story!!!! Plausible explanations on all the Vampire Lore.



Another would be the disease porphyria. It ran rampant in the Middle Ages.....and some of the symptoms are receding gums, to make your teeth appear bigger and extremely sensitive to sunlight. Mary, Queen of Scots and King George III, suffered from it.

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ladyofdragonrose
23:08 May 18 2009

applauds loudly: This is excellent Jens.....bravo....i have to say did it very very well...

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Adora
23:13 May 20 2009

This just awoke my lust to delve into vampire literature again! I had almost forgotten how much I used to love this.



I really like it, Jens, ever thought about becoming a writer? :)

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Starr2010
15:39 Mar 15 2011

I like how you mentioned Vlad as being misundertood, yes he drank blood from a goblet...He wasn't really a vampire.

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On a website about the Reunification of Germany... I found this to be rather interesting, having to apply for permission to visit people in another town.



And the downside of unification? "There was less crime -- because everything was so controlled. The frontier barrier was in our farmyard. The border police and Stasi [security police] were everywhere. Anyone from another village wanting to visit us had to apply for a special permit at least four weeks in advance -- just to drop in for a cup of tea. When I think about it now, life was pretty awful. But it was the only life we knew. We just accepted it. We were taught that everyone over there, just a kilometre away on the other side of the border, was bad, an enemy. We were brought up to hate the other `capitalist' Germans." Now, in a small way, Mr Mumme is a capitalist himself.



Source: The Economist, 13 November 1999, pp. 52-53.