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I had a very interesting second day of animal praying for Kizzy is not better but is at home. Apparently Ms dot another roommie animal has worms and well another the water dragon died today. So I am glad I actually sage my animals when saging my room and self. My furbabies are covered.
Computer is a mess so I have to get a new one. In the mean time had along talk with a new facebook friend and was in surprise that he actually wanted to meet in person for all we are is friends but I said sure. Why because we both like cooking and he wants to show me how to make pizza. lol okay lets see him teach me how to make pizza. I am okay with that. He sent me a picture of his pool. I have pool envy. We have a small pool compared to him.
Other then that I am chilling for the day for I can hehe

Today has been eventful day. The computer got mushed today. So I am borrowed time on a kindle. I met a few new peeps on messenger surreal that is.
I am weirded out for the dream I had was of kizzy and well she was hovered over by a man in a suit and top hat last night. He was wanting Kizzy and her mother and father were zoned into their computers where I was not. I paid attention to Atka barking at the man who was looking at Kizzy. He wanted to take her and I said no. She is not yours to take. I kept hitting Marilyn to look at the man and tell him to stop touching her and she didn’t hear me. Then he got mad and blew up the computers up mine was on fire and melted. this morning my screen was cracked as though it was stepped on and no one touched my computer. PLUS it was totally off line. NOW Kizzy is at animal hospital with issues in the stomach. I hope with the iv they have in her will help her thru it all and there will be no more issue. She has been throwing up peeing all over the place and she has not kept anything down. She has been sad and her parents didn’t notice it till I said something about it and the next day today it is out of control. She threw up and she was not doing well. So I hope she gets better for they might have to do surgery on her and that might not be easy to do..
with all the weird stuff going on around us I have been protecting my animals and of course myself so I kind of wonder if they armed the babies. From the sounds of it they don't so I wonder if it is an attack astrally on Kizzy.

I went food shopping for herbs and cooking and baking supplies. Yes I am not a chef but my grandma taught me to use fresh and I mean fresh herbs and spices. My roomie has a lot of dead spices and herbs which has put me out of practice with cooking and well I lack luster in cooking. So I went in and did a list of fooding. My doll roomie looked at me like what the heck was I buying? I said we don't have reallllll herbs and spices. I am not a snob just I know how food is supposed to taste and how fruit salads pop and how Mongolian noodles should taste if I make it. It is a matter of the wow factor since I am basically always cooking dinner. And I am getting bored with dinner I decided might as well do it my way. LOL
Tonight making beef with Mongolian noodles and snow peas. Desert blueberries, raspberries with a bit of blackberries dipped in a dash of sugar for our taste buds and a heavy whipping cream with vanilla bean flavoring.
Meowy indeed. Smiles to self. Better then taco salad with beans or something like hamburger with beans or chicken with snow peas blah. I am sick of their same old same old stuff. I like to mix it up and so I am. Funny thing is I am plan to loose weight naturally not like the three amigos who are starving themselves to dieting and hating how they are eating. I like eating but loosing weight is a bonus so I am eating right and portion control is about right so it is okay to me. Lost another 5 pounds. :) Yes I ate chocolate and have not stopped drinking gingerale.
So I baked some bacon for the furbabies and Kizzy was acting abit off so I gave her some in her bowl. She is tuckered out that is for sure. They are sleeping in the same area Atka and Kizzy. So that should say something. They are gal pals now. Slowly Atka seems to grow to like Kizzy and so the same with Kizzy.Kizzy did not like Atka and well Atka thinks she is a huge horse rightly so for she is a big dog. But they are getting to know each other better and seeing them in the same area is kind of nice. They have their jealous moments but that is ok. Atka does not like sharing her treats nor her human. Kizzy knows Atka's got better treats and her human is nicer then hers so she will try sometimes to get me to play with her and pet her and treat her. :) It only took 7 months of getting to know each other and realizing I am Atka's mother and I don't take kindly to her eating osiris or atka. Kizzy sees I am over protective of the furbabies that are mine so she steps back and understands if she wants anything she needs to be nice and not touch them. :) Also noticed after having to yell at her once for I don't yell at my animals they know the evil eye look. I should not have to yell. Kizzy is also recognizing the eye movement too for she came into my room when I was not feeling good and I was like eheh step away from the Jayde monster.
Went to pt today. Learned the skull crusher. Thought I was going to die but didn’t so that was good. I survived. Woot woot!

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ReesesPieces
20:14 Aug 20 2017

oh fun food shopping is always fun (not)

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Yesterday I went to the shrink who was not only delayed with the patient before me had the nerve to tell me that she is only good for 15 minutes but she had the patient before me for over the time frame and then some. I looked at her like I need a therapist not a dr who gives me meds for my actions of bipolar disorder for clearly you are hitting my pet peeves on purpose and truly are annoying as fuck as a human goes for.. Didn’t that to her face but would like to.

You see she judge me with in a 30 minutes and said you are bipolar with major sexuality issues and you should tame them by not having a sexmate at all. Take four kinds of medicine that apparently so far don’t do much for calming the limbo down and I should start to date people again but not have sex at all. I choose a male that can handle my habits of sexual nature and literally go with it. If they are worthy of it I proceed to roleplay to see if they can hack it. Most of them only get to level one. One had the weirdness of asking me to marry him after a date and another I never met nor seen sent me a ring to marry him. For apparently he must of liked the roleplay. So she said go online date and such. BAHAHAHAAAA
One in this day in age dating is odd they go on one date and expect the world if they pay for it. Two if it is a causal site coffee or lunch that basically means part time lover not really wanting a partner and three no website I ever heard of actually courts a person anymore. No one tries to get to know a person. Asks questions about a person and communicates with them. If so that is really far and few in between. I have not met that type yet even over the internet. They end up wanting to meet within weeks.
So logic would say overseas maybe. UM NO.. I thought okay cannot touch them over seas don't have a passport. Well Chris was from Ireland and he sent me a ring which I sent back after only interacting with him a month. I tend to not want to get attached so easy for when you get into a honeymoon stage it really is more madness then anything else and he went on that trip without me. Never met him, never saw him, and yes he said here this is for you marry me. I thought oh cheapo ring till a friend asked me where I got it. Nope, It was real, sent it back a week before I met another who I was not sure what to make of him for he and I had some stuff in common but other areas we really didn’t and he wanted to be boyfriend and girlfriend had not heard from him in a few weeks so I figured he found someone new. Now when all this mess was happening a penpal that has been as crazy as me seems to be the perfect match other then we can be crazy and fruit loops together. Problem is he is in England. He and I spoke about marriage. ERRRR I know I was like what the heck is wrong with me?? So I asked her she said they asked you to marry you? I said yes I have been asked a few times in many different ways and well yes a lot of times. Her eyes got big. She says do you have a picture of the newest one? I said yes I do. I showed her the picture. She said and why do you like him? I said he has the same traits as me. He understands my thinking when it comes to sexmate and lifemate. We agreed to having sexmates till we met in person. She looked at me like that was unheard of. I said sex is a basic need. You might not like it but if done right it can open a lot of doors. She said and a lot of stds. I said if you get tested every sx months then no and also if you make sure your partner is tested and shows those to you then you can. She looked at me like I have an answer for everything when it comes to having sex. She apparently has no clue what the heck to do with me and so she said well at least your crush is over seas and you cannot have sex with him. I said with a smile but we can do other things. She looked at me horrified. She upped my meds because of that comment. :P
Anyways today I barely could move, I was in so much pain. I worked out and well I danced most of the night away at a pool party with a bunch of youngings. Yes I call the younger people youngings. They think I am their age but I am not. I was not looking to have sex nor hunting for a blood doll but just have a good time and blow off steam. I did not realize how many 30 somethings really think I am 30 something in looks. I had to laugh and thought to myself now I understand why people say there is a cougar thing with people like me. Women who are older and wiser and well like to dance and play and well not worry about the age normally. Anyways some of them seem to think I smell good which is common in the mundane world for some reason. I smell different for I don’t wear perfume I wear oils. LOL Anyways I guess Amber mixed with sandalwood and rose turns men on ladies. Just saying there were at least six men asking what I was wearing and that I smell great. One followed me and I was like stalk much? He said no normally I don't. I said go play with the others. Amber the hostess asked me what I did. I said nothing, just smell good apparently. She laughed and sniffed me and said yes that is it. :) She said see you need to get out more often. I said um no I don’t but thanks for the invite. I watched the stars and walked home. It was neat watching the stars crash into the skyline of trees. I am not sure why but it just felt good to look up at the stars and look at Orion's stars and just breathe. Snuggled with the animals and didn’t get out of bed when I heard the rain. Perfect day to sleep in. muhahahaaaa

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ReesesPieces
20:13 Aug 20 2017

I also have bipolar I was told I had it back 2015 no wonder I always had brake downs
now I know why I have them damn out brakes of tempers wanting to tear some one's damn head off
some times ugh

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JaydeBloodaxe
20:23 Aug 20 2017

It sometimes happens that way. Depends sometimes I take it out in shopping or sex or in other ways too.

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If you are sad, add more lipstick and attack. Coco Channel
That is my warpaint cry. I normally put make up on as a shield more then to look pretty but to make sure I look alive. Many try to enhance how they look. Make up is a tool for that but it is also really easy to over do stuff and make it worse. I just used to plus size model so I know the difference to looking natural and looking like crap. When I feel down more so I look and smell good on purpose. Such was a day today.

I had an awesome day today in physical therapy. Working with new one his name is Arron. He is sincere and a positive uplifter that is for sure. I did some new exercises and I also did some new stretches. It was really neat to say the least.
I hurt but it is a good hurt.
I barely moved yesterday so for me to actually even do anything today was amazing. Really made me feel human again.
I got home fell out because of the heat.

Well vamplog vampdate 723207 909am
Yesterday I was having way too weird an issue for with computer stuff. So I was like okay too much energy lets go into the pool and do my water exercises. I enjoyed it a bit too much for it was so freakin hot that I was like damn….I took a bowl of ice for Atka and a towel for atka so she could be outside in the shade and shade bath and watch me pooling for she normally does. Yesterday she was like omg what the heck??? NOPE I need to get inside everyone was gone and lol she had to stay out side with me. So she gave up and started with the ice and then sat down as to say get your ass out of that pool you crazy human. She is a spicy doggie for sure.
She went to the door barked again and lol no one opened the door for her. She looked at me like I am not coming near that pool but damn it I want inside. For her to do that she was hot so I got out of the pool and realized well damn I hurt myself somehow my leg had a cramp. Got out safely came inside with the dog took a shower and got to the bed with a quickness for I felt like I was having a serious issue. It felt like a seizure was coming on. My body was shaking badly. My leg was twitching and cramping all in the same moment. I tried my trusty tens unit. Didn’t work. Tried biofreeze. Didn’t work. Could not focus for I was in too much pain so I took my kindle and listened to asmrs to calm down. yeah didn’t work either got up saw a piece of dove chocolate ate it sat back down it tasted different but focused on the taste and I stopped spasming.
So then I focused out in my leg some reiki got a few crystals and tried to relax. I did for the most part barely moved. I made dinner for everyone still but in 15 minutes of standing and sitting. I could not sit and stand too long either used Blue stop and this too kind of helped a little bit.
Anyways I was tuckered out between trying to help my friend see that he was getting scammed and the crap I went thru I was done for the day.
On a positive note friday I made me first round of rocks and started getting them out there in Collinsville. Going to try and focus on some today on second batch we shall see. I startedted the lay outs on them so we shall see.

Okay how do you tell your best friend that he is being scammed and but needs help badly for his grandma?
He lives in England and he is Nigeria. His family all are from there and she is not doing well at all. she is on machines and stuff. Apparently his family is seriously poor and he is the bread winner. He had to go to Africa and his family is under the assumption he is going to pay all these bills.. I was like huh? Do what? If they all have jobs all of them should put a thousand each and he does too and it is done. But nooooo they want him to do everything and they are slackers.
Then he found some artifacts from his grandmothers tribe and thought hmm maybe I can sell them and pay her debt? Well his friend said hey some where in Poland there is a museum that wants them but if you have to ship it to them. You will get 5000 dollar for a box full of heirlooms. I said sounds like a scam.. He said please check it out and I did..
*Well the website http://zxcourier.com/ a made up company from any web page maker .
* I emailed them to ask what the price, is what the museum, what the museum's information was and still have not gotten a call or email back on either. 4 hours later still nothing.. No customer service. hmmmm imagine that..
* his friend knows his family apparently and his friend is not a friend but a scam artist
* I am over protective of my friend and well I am thinking danger will Robinson danger he is in desperate need of help of selling these heirlooms in a safe environment and if anyone has suggestions that would be helpful…

Okay now I had a blast with my nurse in Iron therapy She was as snarky as I and her name was Beth. She was soooooo funny when one patient would leave you are " out like a fat kid in skin that cat on the playground" I said hey I was fat as a kid and rarely did they get me... She thought I was mad I wasnot I giggled. Then another patient was leaving " They are off like a prom dress" I was like DOH! I laughed hard and tried not to laugh infront of the others, who got quiet for they were taking her seriously. I said you must had alot of brothers growing up or having farming in your blood for you are upfront blunt and to the point and funny as heck. She said you are a city slicker that has southern roots huh? I said why yes mame I do. She said you arent from these parts I said no mame I am not. she said were are your southern roots from. Ms. She said danggggggg you are more southern than I. I said nope a New yorker via parents. Grandma and aunts and uncle live in Ms. They are quick to with sayings and stuff too. They are very lovable people. They taught my sister and I alot.
She smiled that is good so you are a well rounded city slicker. A little rebel huh? I was like nope little yankee. tongue emoticon

This morning was awesome though got no sleep for I had so much pain I actually enjoyed walking Atka and mediating on mala beads I made. She was calm and sleepy but she enjoyed being out and about.
Then took Osiris out back while Kizzy and parents were out walking her. So he had full access to the gated back yard. He walked around rolled in the grass stone and was on a natural high. He got out once since I have been here and he has been sad ever since we he has new kitty friend Dot and Ruby he seems to get Dot more so then Ruby and though they play he really looks outside like it is a lost missed item for him. He got out once and fell right into a very nasty coy pond in the dark and well now cleaned and fixed. He learnt from his mistake and doesn't go near it. He rolled around in his happy bliss. Making me have to chase him for he likes me to chase him a little. So we played tag a little and he rolled and had fun and ran around like he could not believe he was outside. he sniffed the air and the sun was just coming out so it was perfect for him. Not to hot and not to burning the mom to a crisp to chase him abit in a very slow manor. Slow like sloth hehe a baby sloth..
Going for second round of iron infusions not as bad as I thought. No energy but can sleep pretty okay for four hours straight a night now. That is a win in my book.
So I hope I get more sleep maybe it is balancing out my body for all the lack of sleep. Hehe

This morning was awesome though got no sleep for I had so much pain I actually enjoyed walking Atka and mediating on mala beads I made. She was calm and sleepy but she enjoyed being out and about.
Then took Osiris out back while Kizzy and parents were out walking her. So he had full access to the gated back yard. He walked around rolled in the grass stone and was on a natural high. He got out once since I have been here and he has been sad ever since we he has new kitty friend Dot and Ruby he seems to get Dot more so then Ruby and though they play he really looks outside like it is a lost missed item for him. He got out once and fell right into a very nasty coy pond in the dark and well now cleaned and fixed. He learnt from his mistake and doesn't go near it. He rolled around in his happy bliss. Making me have to chase him for he likes me to chase him a little. So we played tag a little and he rolled and had fun and ran around like he could not believe he was outside. he sniffed the air and the sun was just coming out so it was perfect for him. Not to hot and not to burning the mom to a crisp to chase him abit in a very slow manor. Slow like sloth hehe a baby sloth..
Going for second round of iron infusions not as bad as I thought. No energy but can sleep pretty okay for four hours straight a night now. That is a win in my book.
So I hope I get more sleep maybe it is balancing out my body for all the lack of sleep. Hehe

Okay today was a day for cranking a whip on some people. Dr office visit went as follows: got there early got put in a very well lit room and left there for 40 minutes of which a headache and a seizure that was stronger then usual I turned off the light got on the bed and stayed there until it stopped the dr asked why is the light off I said for I was seizuring because of it. He was surprised and asked if I wanted to go to the hospital I said no. Why spend 8 hours in a hospital to tell me oh you have non epilyptic seizures and need such and such meds and a dr that knows how to work with you on it.
He looked at what eds is and was like you need to go to an internal medicine dr >>> um no I need a genetic dr. So he can test my body out for it better and confirm it and then go to it. I looked at his mannor and just did the okay be sticky sweet to him and give him notes from pain management and heart tests and pt and eds test that I had done but nothing further. He then says I need xrays for my back, a neuro dr, a ortho dr, a new pain management dr for the old one basically cannot take me anymore for they change insurance companies and I told him about the dme stuff I need and I am looking into a ncm which takes 30 business days from the 6th. Hey got to love this guy throwing more referrals then I can throw a stick at him. And to top it off I had to give the nurse the foundations of different numbers to different places of insurance company drs so they can get me a referral for the places they need. Uh ncm anyone??? Going to this man stresses me out now I am seizuring at his place because of lighting pretty bad don't you think??
Then of course I had to get a ride home by an a1 med service company which did a smart thing for once. They went in the parking lot and told me to go to the back. I was amazed. I was not going to get hit by a car and it was actually nice to see someone cares about the people getting the service through Medicaid. Not many show common courteous so it is nice to see in this day in age.
Got home and was bombarded by Karen aka doll chaser talking about how Kizzy was going to eat the Orkin man. I laughed and said good for Kizzy at least she was protecting you. She thought it was funny for she had to get the orkin man to sit down and get kizzy into the back . She said sit down and he did like he was a doll or something. Eh whatever just something about her that always makes me look for my knife or switch blade. I guess I like Lenore in that sense logically she is an odd 70 year old that talks to her dolls like they are real. I talk to my animals like they understand me and they do. However, not for a woman who is a lazy person who does not clean her dishes , expects to get her food cooked and well has no help in doing anything in the house and she is a roommate. I am not a house maid and she knows I am not well today but she asked what is for dinner. I said something simple and that is it. She did not like that answer. I said beans, asparagus and barque chicken ok? She smiled and said yes yes. I looked at her like she is sooooooo not on my positive side right now. Gave her the eyebrow raised and looked at her with distain... I said go play with your dolls please I might throw things at you today. That was the fastest I have ever seen her run.

Apparently most people with iron infusions don't get sleepy. It has helped me become tired enough to sleep 4 hours a night now. For about a week. It amazes me to getting any sleep so I am grateful to say the least. Also having crazy cravings like home maid butter cream with fruit yeah not too healthy but damn good. Better then whipped cream.
So creepy doll owner got abit miffed that her friend liked talking to me and wanted to stay here and talk to me rather then go out and talk to her. Never saw Karen be jealous before but she was. I looked at her and asked about a animal toy that wasn't my furbabies toy and asked it was ms dot or her beloved ruby's and she looked at me like I don't know. I said I found it as I woke up and its not my furbaby's and it was wet. Ms dot kinda of is a lovey dovey cat and I don't mind her at all. But she keeps bringing over stuff that is creepy and icky and I know it isn't my cat. I mean I get toys that last and well it's because Atka and Osiris share their toys and both are rough with their toys. I just got the impression today that Karen wanted out right away and didn't want me in the picture at all. So I said have fun storming the castle and went on to the computer. Her friend still wanted to talk but saw Karen was on the move. She said she wanted to continue to talk but at another time and I said anytime. :) Karen gave this look of I am not sharing my friend with you look. I just smiled politely and went on typing. Shez she is weird ... It is not like I wanted to take her friend away from her... Goodness.

Still feeling like a sloth but a kind of working sloth. Worked on some forums today one on spoon theory and I hope everyone will like it even did it in the main forums for it was helping in our mentorship one. So I figured if we have people there must be more of them that is for sure.
Did one on positive thinking so we shall see how that one works if it does well then I may put it on the main forums again too. Just thinking about things to change thought patterns for the better and let people inspire themselves.
When will this iron kick in already I wonder... I got it done yesterday and really have no reason to be so slow walking around like a 80 year old need all my spoons today just to walk. Oddly enough that is I might need them just to walk to my bedroom. I feel that sleepy... eeep I need another nap.

The spoon theory is a disability metaphor and neologism used to explain the reduced amount of energy available for activities of daily living and productive tasks that may result from disability or chronic illness. "Spoons" are a visual representation used as a unit of measure used to quantify how much energy a person has throughout a given day. Each activity requires a given number of spoons, which will only be replaced as the person "recharges" through rest. A person who runs out of spoons has no choice but to rest until their spoons are replenished.

This metaphor is used to describe the planning that many people have to do to conserve and ration their energy reserves to accomplish their activities of daily living. The planning and rationing of energy-consuming tasks has been described as being a major concern of those with chronic and fatigue-related diseases, illness, or conditions. The theory explains the difference between those who don't seem to have energy limits and those that do. The theory is used to facilitate discussions between those with limited energy reserves and those that do not.[1][2] Because healthy people typically are not concerned with the energy expended during ordinary tasks such as bathing and getting dressed, the theory helps healthy people realize the amount of energy expended by chronically ill or disabled people to get through the day.[3]

Spoons are widely discussed within autoimmune, disability, and other chronic illness online communities,[4][5] The term Spoonie is sometimes used to refer to a person with a chronic illness that can be explained with the spoon theory.[3]

Funny day today.
I am blunt and to the point not looking for a boyfriend just penpals or coven mates to make our coven be a no bullshit coven. Or mentorship program one. I was asked to work with a mentorship and I was like sure because it will give me the opportunity to grow. I don't mind that at all. Maybe I am a bit blunt too blunt. I ask questions for I want to know a depth of a person and what they are really on vr for.. A lot of them are looking for mates. Not here for that. I am here to discuss with people and have conversations. Open people to chronic illness and what one goes through and still be a vampy. It is all good in the neighborhood. Found it funny to say the least that men think I am hitting on them. If I bite them I just like to bite them. It is nothing more. Not hitting on them. I just like their energy is all.
Anyways on iron infusion run today. Wow they were really nice and gave me juice and fig newtons and a pillow and I was tired thru the whole thing. Got home and was so grateful to be home. I fell out literally for 30 seconds and got back up running a round for the animals wanted out. LOL No one was home but Karen and none of them were her animals. Atka my little girl just wanted to snuggle and I loved her for it. God did I. Then dot not my cat but roomies loved on me she is my fur therapist for she knows when I am hurting like a mofo.
I did the dishes even though I said I was on strike for two days. They just left them there bugs were around. I cannot stand bugs and well I took my time at the huge pile of dishes...
Tackled it like a sloth and worked it like a bear. I just hate roaches and well I used the spoon theory the dishes and other things today. Muahhaaaa fun stuff turned it into a game... Had too actually...

Today has been a day for a warrior movie. I went into the war zone of angel hall. which was pain management but they had odd statues of angels which was neat. They pricked me with needles and machines and they looked at me with my zombie cow stress toy and asked um what I was holding and I was like my zombie cow. Its eyes pop out when you squeeze it. The one nurse could not look at the other laughed my dr laughed hard for she had not seen it before. The pain for these shots was crazy mad and radiates thru your body. It is supposed help the pain but in fact takes two weeks to take the pain away oh the joys of wtf ever.
I got home luckily and got on the phone with insurance and car trips, and doctors and dentists, and new pt office and made new appointments, briefly talked to my lawyer and informed him of the mental doctor I am going to see and get that form filed out for him. As well as the pt and doctor pains office and medical records and follow ups with new places.
BLAH
Got here wrote a little ready for bed. :P

Well today was funny for I showed a penpal around my world as I went home from PT and didn't think anything of it just took pictures of things I liked about the place. I am trying to find positive things in the area I live in so it helped me search for them and point them out.
Pt was very helpful since the hospital is not taking Merdian anymore I asked who does and got a good answer and called right away for a new one and got the fax number to it since I am going to pain management I will be going to get a new one of those tomorrow too. :) Heck yeah the old fashioned way since the new way does not work at all. Spoke to the manager of the pt office... I called 25 doctors and not a one of them takes me for I am a new patient to them even though I have this person and they are in the hospital that is getting rid of me for they don't want to take my insurance anymore.
I spoke to a patient who was going through the same thing and did not know to get himself a ncm nor to get information for himself. I was like hell to the no . You are your own advocate and you have to be on them all about your healthcare. As soon as I was out of pt I called them and bam I got into it with one and got one. I need to get pt for movement purposes for my body goes ridge for EDS is no joke or carer of no movement.
No way am I giving up on myself like that. Dude scared me and I said you need to call them and get on that like no joke asap. I gave him the information and said call them and tell them you need to transfer and what do you need to do to get that to happen??? He said you are right. I said call this number to get yourself a notice letter so you can get your medical records sent to you. That is what I did since they are closing it not me they have to pay for it. :) He was uplifted after that and that was cool.
Chester the evil cat was good when I gave him catnip muhahaha I won he lost that is it... I knew it hehehhe.. I am feline divine hear me roar meow le purrrrrrr

Today has been an eventful day I am furbaby sitting Chester a cat that is pure evil incarnate. His owner is in bfe and I need to know if catnipping this cat will help him or hurt him.
The darn redheaded cat tried to bite me! MEEEEE????? A cat trying to bite me??? I looked at him like you have been off your meds or something and he saw it when I said no.
He tried again when I tried to play with him. I looked at him and said NO
He tried again when I was trying to play with him. I gave him hell has no fury like you are going to die if you don't stop the stupid shit cat and said NOOOO
He sat there like I am going to eat you and I looked at him and smiled and said no you are not going to eat me you are however going to listen and obey me MFing cat...
He calmed down gave him water and food and then walked out of the room then he followed me like wait where are you going?
I am like I have a red headed cat and he does not want my blood kitty. You need better manors.. He meowed at me like what? I was like mhmhhhhmmm you know what I am saying ebil kittygato...
Never have I ever had to yell a cat down to calm. EVER...
Pet him a few times and then he tried it again. I was done by that time...
Silly cat I am not a blood doll. I am the one who likes blood dolls damn it... ROFL

Well today was a very odd morning. My godmother feels that a priest can pray away my bipolar disorder so I am going to try it and see what happens. Apparently its an exorcism over the phone so what can it do hurt? Not really. Maybe it will help. I am hoping so. I plan on talking with the father about tomorrow. What I need to do and such on my end to be open to this odd praying method.
I prayed on my own this morning and just got warm fuzzies and relaxed for a change. Fell asleep for 9 hours again. Odd thing is I normally don't sleep so much so this to me was amazing in itself. Woke up peaceful and happy which was lovely. So I enjoyed waking up. Which never happens for my body normally well is painful in the morning.. EDS is pain through the body, fatigue and more in the body. Its like fibromyalgia but with more problems for you are double joint and things decide to go wonky at times. Like you are walking and your knee gives way. Or ankle and you fall. Fun things like that. When you are weak in the knees it is a sure sign for cane or walker at those times. with a tens unit attached to yourself if not one two of them. Depending on the level of pain and weakness.
Tens units fake out the pain and yes it blocks an area from feeling it for the most part. It is a very helpful tool and very much fun when you are forcing yourself to walk. :) I prefer to walk rather than sit or lay down for that admits weakness more then usual. The joys of body pain and such. Yeah..
Anyways working on a new method to praying so I am hoping it works well and it feels good like this every time I do it.

Sleeping pills that were given to me only work when really I have had no sleep and then it puts you out for at least 9 hours never slept so much in my life. WOW. I feel weird. I have energy and I have less pain which I took advantage of and cleaned a few things around the house.
Amazing what sleep can do for your body I must say.. Positive aspect of the day for sure.
Moving onto positive aspect two Osiris my little furbaby. Actually wanted to cuddle with me and did. He allowed me to pet him and he purred and he was letting me snuggle him. I was like what is wrong little man? He just purred and fell asleep. He woke up when I moved and then did his normal blot for the door I am an independent kitty cat move. The moment was cherished for his is my little man.
I love him dearly and I did a little Reiki on him while he was sleeping and laying there. I am glad I did for apparently my roomie told me at 4 am he threw up. I was like was it fur or food? She said both. When she said both it made me think eh hair ball more so. But hey little man gets brushed daily and getting a hairball once every few months is not that bad considering the little man preens worse then a queen kitty. Sometimes I wish he would teach Atka his preening skills but alas Atka is abit of a stubborn doggie.
I have the house to myself all the roomies are playing and or vacationing at the moment so the house is peaceful. Music, sage burning, and of course a candle for adding the area for delight. I am in a cozy place today. Peaceful and Happy today.

The reason why I do about my day on here.
For people like me to see the ups and downs and that with EDS you can still enjoy life and be apart of it and also dislike things too.
I did water therapy yesterday feeling the pain today. But it was worth it. Living on the tens unit right now on the knees and can get over that weakness and pain with it. By that and mind over matter with out meds.
With meds I need to be on for bipolar disorder and the thought patterns that race as well. We have highs and lows and eb and flow like the tides of the sea. We can be calm and violent and then other times unexpectedly a maniac in a good way or bad way depending on the disorder.
I don't vent to look like angel for I am not. I am dragon never said I was perfect. We all have faults but we all are beautiful messes too.
God, Goddess, whoever created us, made us, all unique with all kinds of problems and failures and illnesses. But we also have awesome days.
Like today the sun came out and I snuggled with Atka and Osiris and just let the tens unit take over the pain. That moment was neat. Life isn't perfect but the little moments that are well that is what makes life worth living.

Okay went to pool therapy for EDS and all that pain has with it. Did work thru the pain. I was grateful for the pool for I can act human again. It actually is the only way to exercise the way the want to me to exercise. Land exercises are a lot harder for my body is ridged. I have been in the past double jointed. I am no longer able to for I have non epilyptic seizures. Anyways getting my body in gear is what I am doing lost 5 pounds just by eating healthy and working on cardio and strengthening.
So it is good on that end. Today was abit different got out of the pool weaker then usual. Did a new move and wow was it painful. I got up and held the wall and the life guard looked at me. He saw me working thru my pain and not caring that I was in pain but doing the moves I needed to do as best I could. I have been living on a tens unit and its not working was on meds but this does not do that. Imagine that. So My body has had with drawls and more since I have been here. Got to love public health and how they really don't know jack and sh-- about people even though the people who need it don't take advantage like the people who do. Anyways moving on about that frustration,,
I call the new move is this how Achilles died? If so who killed him again?? The trainer laughed. I was looking at her like this is not funny and smiled thru my pain and glared. I breathed and kept on. Doing the move in the water. The other women looked at me and the life guard did too in fright like I was going to pass out in pain. Then I got out of the pool. She made the others follow suit. I smiled and said now you understand my pain people staring at me... Trainer turned to me and asked how I felt as I was holding to the wall. I said never better a mac truck hit me and somehow I am alive thanks for sharing... eyebrow raised and seriously looking at her. She saw I sat down and caught my breathe and I think the life guard was grateful I was ok for I don't think he would have known what to do if I passed out. I am probably two times his size on both counts.. LOL My breasts alone could have killed him. So cannot wait to get those reduced.. :) Less back pain yeah! Does happy dance...
Had a seizure yesterday so I had to get thru it. Work out the pain and work thru it. Pain is temporary quitting is forever in my eyes...

All I can say about today is wtf. I go to a vein specialist that tells me I have spider veins and veins that go in and out of flux which is not normal but apparently normal enough to get compression thigh highs. I had to ask about iron infusions only to be told that I need them in order to survive now. Apparently blood dolls and eating meat aren't enough. So they are going to pump me up with iron for two fricken hours getting iron and just getting injected with the stuff yeahhhhhh. Yeaah go eds go. got to love the stuff. so apparently I wont need human dolls anymore. Not sure if I like that or not yet. We will see for sure.
Anyways my pain management and pt management are both being taken out of the healthcare provider zone soo four hours later I got a name a valid name and number for a new doctor only to say the take only memorial hospital drs I was like okay check this out how do you like me now order a case manager and also got thru a lot of fricken calls and appointments today. Also getting pool therapy for sure so the government has proved to me they don't care about disabled people in IL at all. We will see what happens next as the blood whirls in my world. In the mean time I met someone lovely who makes me feel good and helps me sees color again. In the midst of that I have had chaos of an old ex and had to say no to others a few times. Why is it when you like someone all of the sudden you attract more. I mean don't get me wrong I don't mind men in general they are nice to look at but from afar a lot of them have drama and such so I am not sure how I will proceed... Today was a man who was a muscular human 6'7 white but had dreg locks and tattoos saw my tattoo on my ankle and asked about it. He was flirty and I said I was taken. He looked at me and said by who? You have a wolf ring on… I said that is the ring of my boyfriends thanks… He was pretty to look at but I really wasn’t looking for something to play with..He would hurt me I think. I looked at him like uh hmm interesting.
Yesterday I danced in water therapy heard a song didn't know who it was but it had a beat anyways I was waiting my turn and the pt and life guardians all clapped and whistled at me for dancing to the song. They asked if I could do any song like that.. I said probably for belly dancing is easy to hit a beat with. Egyptian belly dancing is fun. The guy put it on and asked to do it again I said if you all do it too..( found out last night that is it shape of you Ed Sheeran.) So we all belly danced the men tried and the pt and the patients all did it in the water.. It was weird. But neat for never saw men interested in it. The one guy asked if I was single I said you mean available and no I am not. He said why not? I said you are healthy the fact you could break me is an issue… He laughed he asked for my number. I looked at him and said I don’t have a phone with me so I cannot give you a number but thank you for the dance. That was an odd experience..
Killing it in dragon story and dragon soul loving itttttttttt :) Gaming moment heheheheeeee

COMMENTS

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XxElviscatxX
01:30 Jul 12 2017

Wednesday Thursday Friday = WTF.

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JaydeBloodaxe
17:27 Jul 12 2017

in deed

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POST COMMENT

Interesting day of events
Roomies had a pool painting party with a lot of people that I have never seen before.
One brought fresh guac... Which is a positive in my book that is like a lunch and dinner thing for me.
Then Amber came up and gave me a spoon and told me about the spoon theory
The Spoon Theory
by Christine Miserandino www.butyoudontlooksick.com
My best friend and I were in the diner, talking. As usual, it was very late and we were eating French fries with gravy. Like normal girls our age, we spent a lot of time in the diner while in college, and most of the time we spent talking about boys, music or trivial things, that seemed very important at the time. We never got serious about anything in particular and spent most of our time laughing.
As I went to take some of my medicine with a snack as I usually did, she watched me with an awkward kind of stare, instead of continuing the conversation. She then asked me out of the blue what it felt like to have Lupus and be sick. I was shocked not only because she asked the random question, but also because I assumed she knew all there was to know about Lupus. She came to doctors with me, she saw me walk with a cane, and throw up in the bathroom. She had seen me cry in pain, what else was there to know?

Handed me a tiny spoon with crystals on it. I was so taken back by this gesture that I love it and she called us spoonies. I said yes mame we are. I want to give anyone who is like us a spoon now. Have a list of people I am making spoon pendants for. :)
Then I spent time with my furbabies and Eric who is dear to my heart so I got more uplifted.
Did a haiku today
Looked at the baby robin that is growing in a nest in the back yard. It is soooo cute...

Then an ex decided to email me messages one as though I talked about him and two went nuts. I mean wacko nuts on me saying I was a cunt and then blocked me from writing back. Is he normal no. He wanted to be more then friends and I said no for every time I did he would push me away and I had enough bull---- to last a lifetime on that. I never speak ill or rude about anyone but today is a venting day and so I am venting he is a douche. No friend of mine and has an ego bigger then life itself to think I am wanting to spend my day talking about him. When it only took two seconds to write out in total.
Did this ruin my day hell no why I played dragn soul and whipped butt and went on about my day. I am feline divine hear me roar MEOW

Interesting day of events
Roomies had a pool painting party with a lot of people that I have never seen before.
One brought fresh guac... Which is a positive in my book that is like a lunch and dinner thing for me.
Then Amber came up and gave me a spoon and told me about the spoon theory
The Spoon Theory
by Christine Miserandino www.butyoudontlooksick.com
My best friend and I were in the diner, talking. As usual, it was very late and we were eating French fries with gravy. Like normal girls our age, we spent a lot of time in the diner while in college, and most of the time we spent talking about boys, music or trivial things, that seemed very important at the time. We never got serious about anything in particular and spent most of our time laughing.
As I went to take some of my medicine with a snack as I usually did, she watched me with an awkward kind of stare, instead of continuing the conversation. She then asked me out of the blue what it felt like to have Lupus and be sick. I was shocked not only because she asked the random question, but also because I assumed she knew all there was to know about Lupus. She came to doctors with me, she saw me walk with a cane, and throw up in the bathroom. She had seen me cry in pain, what else was there to know?

Handed me a tiny spoon with crystals on it. I was so taken back by this gesture that I love it and she called us spoonies. I said yes mame we are. I want to give anyone who is like us a spoon now. Have a list of people I am making spoon pendants for. :)
Then I spent time with my furbabies and Eric who is dear to my heart so I got more uplifted.
Did a haiku today
Looked at the baby robin that is growing in a nest in the back yard. It is soooo cute...

Then an ex decided to email me messages one as though I talked about him and two went nuts. I mean wacko nuts on me saying I was a cunt and then blocked me from writing back. Is he normal no. He wanted to be more then friends and I said no for every time I did he would push me away and I had enough bull---- to last a lifetime on that. I never speak ill or rude about anyone but today is a venting day and so I am venting he is a douche. No friend of mine and has an ego bigger then life itself to think I am wanting to spend my day talking about him. When it only took two seconds to write out in total.
Did this ruin my day hell no why I played dragn soul and whipped butt and went on about my day. I am feline divine hear me roar MEOW

Painting the pool today so that means we will have a pool soon. Looking forward to it. Tried out for a scholarship so I was hoping to get into an indoor one for winter. We will see. Pt is being taken out for HSHS medical group does not take my medical anymore according to them starting the end of this month SO I am going to have to find a new one. The fun never stops that is for sure.
I am just fed up trying to fight for my medical and then it getting taken away from me yet again. It is a never ending battle. Its bad to say the least.
I will have to see if I can get a helper or ncm to help me out and figure this out...

I have been watching birds in the back yard build a next and have babies. They are robins. They are truly beautiful and graceful and almost majestic in midflight. Watching them just inspires the mind and makes for great thoughts of fancy I guess. Most nature does for me at least. Roommates actually are outside working on their pool concept. I was surprised for they got up at 7 am and started the project and they have not stopped. It is sunny and 90s out there and nothing personal it is bloody humid. If I knew what I was doing I would help but I am not into burning up nor looking stupid. So I am staying inside where its less humid and less hot.

Today has been a day. The medicines they want me to take have taken hold of something what I am not sure. As for the bipolar part of me it is sure tamer. I was actually happy today.
As for the sleeping medicine that did nothing but make me tired the next day if I wanted that I could use pot and get the same affect but sleep and not have brain fog after it. So I will have to talk to my lovely therapist and let her know the stuff she gave me is crap. LOL
Moving onto a new subject. I found some poetry of mine which has been awhile so for me to vent and such was kind of cool. I enjoyed it and people inspire so when I get inspire I do it.
Atka was well behaved today. She took me on with a stride I have never seen. She has patience of a saint that or a nun. Poor little doggie don’t know why she chose me as her master but she loves me. My little fizgig girlie that she is. On days like today when I feel like a slug I kind of don’t move and if I do move it is to clean as my roommates saw. I don’t like hair in my area or dirt in my area. So I swept the computer area and kizzy disciples were all over the place. Kizzy hair basically she sheds worse then Atka.
Got done with coven rating yeah. wowie that was a project.. Next stop alliances. woot hooo