The Ultimate Vampire Resource and Directory

Funny Vampire Shit
16:51 Feb 26 2005
Times Read: 892






Yet another vamp comic from those hilarious bastards at Penny Arcade.



Please click on the pic, up there, and visit their site. If you're into video games, then you probably already know about the strip. If you aren't or you don't then do yourself a favor and give them a look.



I hope they don't sue me. :-)



PS: I left the strip GIANT SIZED because I'm afraid you won't be able to read the text if I shrink it small enough so that you don't have to H-scroll. Sowwy.

Grievous Spelling Error of the Day
09:35 Feb 26 2005
Times Read: 894


"Vampier"



I Googled it (of course!) and Google said "Did you mean: Vampire?



Google is King. Google said it's not a word, so it's NOT. 90% of the instances of "vampier" on the Google search results page were mispellings of "vampire." For example Buffy the Vampier Slayer. So, "vampier" isn't a real word. Google said so. Deal with it.





However, apparently "Vampier" is a real word in some Germanesque language, as the following website will show:



www.vampier.net



I don't know what language that is. If you do, please message me, and include the link to Babelfish to prove it. (I'm lazy) I may give you a cookie.



As this isn't a Germanesque language site, it's mispelled. SPELLCHECK is your friend.

A Pirate Joke
13:24 Feb 24 2005
Times Read: 909


Pirate walks into a bar. The bartender says “Hey you’ve got a steering wheel in your crotch.”



The pirate says “Arrrr it’s driving me nuts!”

The Seventh Level of DUH!
20:29 Feb 22 2005
Times Read: 919



you are jason



what horror movie character are you
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Of Shining, chickens and barbershops (and KotOR...)
10:41 Feb 21 2005
Times Read: 938

Rant = ON

Ok, I've decided that the polls are getting rediculous. Why do I say that? Well...how about



"Are you a Redneck?"



Ok, fine...technically, vampire victems have reddish necks...I'll buy that. But, I doubt this poll was created in that vein.



Recently, I created a poll that I thought was funny. I wish I could uncreate it. I'm not even giong to look at polls, anymore.



Ok, one nice thing about the polls is that it's taken a lot of the roll-call threads out of the forums.



Rant = OFF



I started playing Star Wars:Knights of the Old Republic II, last night. I'm not much of a console gamer, but I'm enjoying this thing as much as i did the first one. Now...if it only had a vampire in it....



EDIT: A sexy little bird brought to my attention the fact that I can close my own poll. It has been done. I still think it's funny, but I'm still boycotting all thing pollish. Pollock. Poll-like. Yeah, Poll-like.



As for the sixty-some-odd percent of you who said "NO" in my poll. YOU LIE LIKE A RUG! Mu hu ha ha!

Where I find my humor...
14:25 Feb 20 2005
Times Read: 943

If you know me, or if you've paddled through my profile, you pretty much know that I enjoy reading webcomics. There are a LOT of good webcomics out there, if you're into that kind of thing.



Anyway, the reason I like them is that I find some of the most humorous things in the musings of the writers.



In the archives of www.penny-arcade.com I found this example:



"Carrot Cake Soup is like the taste of watching girls make out."



Even withough knowing what that line is all about, it's funny. And if you don't think so, I reccommend you NEVER talk to Daire. You won't understand a thing he says. He'll just confuse you or piss you off. I'll bet he'll laugh when he reads that line.



Ok, I digress. Go to the following link to read the entire carrot cake write-up. Make sure you click on the "Latest Comic" link, too.



http://www.penny-arcade.com/news.php3?date=2002-01-14

Questions...
19:14 Feb 17 2005
Times Read: 952


What is your zodiac sign?: Leo/Cancer



Where were you born?: New York



Where do you live now?: VA and MS



What color are your eyes?: Blue



What color is your hair?: Brown



Do you smoke?: Not for the last few days...wish me luck!



Do you drink?: Yep.



Do you cuss?: Yep



Do you use drugs?: Only when prescribed to me.



Do you play in a band or play an instrument?: Used to sing. Back when I had a mullett. Back when noone called them mulletts. LOL



Do you have any tattoos and/or piercings?: 4 Tattoos. 2 Piercings.



Do you wear jewelry?: Nope.



Do you have any self inflicted scars?: Nope.



Do you study martial arts?: Yep. Well, I started a long time ago, and you never really stop studying.



Do you ever get jealous of somebody else?: Yep. Oprah. I want to be rich and powerful like her. !!!



Do you take your anger out on other people?: Unfortunately, I've been known to do this.



Do you blame other people for your mistakes?: No.



Do you like biting?: Yep.



Do you like candles?: Yep, but not stinky ones.



Do you like to write poetry?: I don't particularly "like" to, but I do.



Do you like to do your own photography?: Depends on the subject.



Do you like to rave or go to clubs often?: Nope.



Do you like meeting new people and hanging out?: Depends on the situation.



Do you like your handwriting?: Not really.



Do you like being around people?: Depends on the people.



Do you attend a church?: Nope.



Do you believe in vampires?: I suppose. Why not?



Do you believe in witchcraft?: Yep



DDo you believe that you can be possesed?: Never thought of it.



Do you believe in love?: Yep



Do you believe in love at first sight?: Nope



Do you believe in forgiveness?: Yep



Do you want to get married?: I don't think about it. If it happens it happens. Noone who really knows me would marry me. LOL



Do you want to have kids?: If it happens it happens. No plans. Already have one and he's more than enough to handle. heheh



Do you ever get off the damn computer?: You can get off? They let you do that?



Are you dependable and/or trustworthy?: Yep, I think so.



Are you evil?: Some would say so. I would not.



Are you a paranoid?: What do you mean by that? THEY sent you, didn't they?!



Are you obsessive and/or compulsive?: I don't think so.



Are you a violent person?: Not like I used to be.



Have you or will you ever steal?: I stole a piece of gum from 7-11 when I was 12. No plans to steal again, at the moment.



Have you ever tried to commit suicide?: Nope



Have you ever caused harm to yourself or someone else?: Yep



Have you ever dyed your hair an unusual color?: Nope



Have you ever played a ouija board or used tarot cards?: I had a tarot deck for a while. It found someone it liked better than me. What's funny, is that I can remember giving it away..but not who that person was.



If you had a choice about how you wanted to die what would it be?: Very old...in my sleep.



What is your favorite game?: WoW...or any variant of poker.



What is your favorite movie?: Star Wars



What is your favorite band?: Blue Oyster Cult



What kind of books do you read?: Sci Fi, Fantasy, King, Hambley. A lot of Hambley, lately.



What is your favorite color?: Blue, no green! Aaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!



What is your favorite food?: Pizza



What is your favorite drink?: Diet Coke (without lime)



What is your favorite animal?: Dogs or dolphins.



What is your favorite part of your emotional being?: What then hell does this mean?



What do you like most about life?: Waking up every morning. My son.



What do you dislike most about life?: Taxes. Being away from my son.



What is on your pillow cover?: Probably hair. I shed.



What is on your coffee Cup?: A symbol with a hand throwing a cup into the water with a dophin under the water. This is signifying that the paper is bio-degradible and environmentally friendly. Either that...or that the cup can be used for dolphin food.



What kind of shoes do you wear?: Boots



What kind of cologne/perfume do you wear?: None



Would you ever kill yourself or someone else?: Harm me or mine, and make sure your insurance in paid up.



Would you rather be with friends or on a date?: How about friends on a date?



If you could have any animal as a pet what would it be?: I'd like a zoo like Sigfried and Roy.



Are you the center of attention or the wallflower?: Both. Niether.



Are you a daredevil?: Used to be.



Ever lied to your best friend?: Not that I can think of. But I might be lying to myself.



Are you happy with your life?: Sure.



If you could change one thing what would it be?: That Jesus escaped the crucifixtion. Wonder what the world would be like...

Teen Angst
21:04 Feb 16 2005
Times Read: 959

I don't remember being an angry, spiteful teen. Ok, so, it was a while ago, so maybe I'm getting old and my memory isn't what it used to be. heheh



I've noticed, as of late, the influx of more and more teen-agers to the site. I'm talking about highschool aged teens, here, mostly. Maybe it's just the "subculture" that the subject of this website attracts, but it seems that there are a lot of kids out there who "hate" everything. They hate where they live. They hate thier parents. They hate school. They hate people AT school. They hate thier friends. (I'm still trying to figure that one out.) They hate thier brother, sister, cousin, uncle, mailman and dog. About the only things they don't hate are cats, rats and thier "one true love who I will die for and do anything for with no punctuation or capital letters because i love him/her so much."



Oh, and they don't seem to hate Brian Warner.



It really seems that these kids are miserable. Yeah, you're kids. Deal with it. You still live in your parent's house, eat the food they provide, go to school, borrow the car, etc. Kids. Still don't believe me? Well, here's the test:



I'm 34.



If the first thing that popped into your head was "Damn, he's old!" YOU are a kid.



Anyway, what's with all the angst? I don't remember having that kind of angst. I didn't hate. Well, I hated that girl that dumped me over the phone that one time. But, I mean, I don't think I can say that there was ever a time where I was scribbling "I wish my dog understood me! Noone understands me!" in my spiral notebook during Alegebra.



You think noone understands you, now? Wait til you get out of school into the "real" world. Then, not only do you have to deal with the fact that your boss doens't understand why you have 47 piercings in your face...oh wait...that's right...you couldn't get hired BECAUSE of the 47 piercings in your face. Oops. See, noone will understand you. Still. Life is just like that.



Ok, I'm starting to lose my train of thought, here and all the "good" stuff is coming unravelled. Let's get back to hate.



Why do you kids hate so much? I really want to know that? I imagine that some of you truly do have well and good reasons to hate. I have no doubt. Whatsoever. But, there is no possible way, statistically, that there can be so many teens who's lives absolutely SUCK that bad on this one web site. (Dhampir is working on the mathematical proof of this, I swear. Just ask him.) Are you all really THAT miserable and angry? I sure hope not. If so...well...you ARE the future of this planet. And, if none of you understand each other...well...the planet is kinda fucked.

Quiz time!
11:42 Feb 16 2005
Times Read: 966



The Jackal



What sign of the Black Zodiac are you?
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Asparagus....
23:16 Feb 15 2005
Times Read: 971


...makes your pee smell funny.

....
18:56 Feb 15 2005
Times Read: 975

Well, I just flipped over to the forums, and I realized, as I read the topics on the first page, that there is nothing that I have any interest in. Unfortunately, my net connection is so slow that I can't stand waiting a couple of minutes for a thread to load that I'm just completely disappointed with. I think the first stage of VR Burnout has begun.



Someone let me know if anything interesting happens in the forums. Or somthing....

Grievous Spelling Errors....
19:19 Feb 14 2005
Times Read: 984

The winner for today...



"Vampieric"

I didn't make this up, I swear...
12:16 Feb 14 2005
Times Read: 990



Bondage Bear



Which Dysfunctional Care Bear Are You?
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Fluff
21:16 Feb 09 2005
Times Read: 1,004

No, I'm not talking about porno movies. If you get that joke, then you're my kind of person!



I'm talking about the forums. I logged in and flipped to the forums page, today and skimmed the subjects for the general threads. I really didn't see much of anything that I wanted to read. Ok, so, that's my problem. I know that. What's entertaining and informative for me, is not so for others and vice versa. I get that, too.



But, I've noticed that over the last month or so, "roll call" threads are becoming prevalent. Some of them are fun, but most degenerate into conversations between two or more people. It's annoying. Especially since my connection is slow.



I miss the threads that made you think. I miss the topics that got lots of people involved, and not just the same 3 or 4. There are several people who I have started to call "forum junkies." Ever notice how the same people post in EVERY thread. And most of the time they don't really say much. Or, their first post is relevant and everything after that is....fluff.



Also, why do people feel the need to post more than once in a "roll call" thread. Example:



What's your favorite color? Blue! Then...after three other people have posted the same person posts again "Oh, I forgot about mauve! I love mauve!" Then three or four posts later "I forgot how much I love yellow! isn't yellow great!" And THEN, another forum junkie just HAS to put thier two cents in: "Oh, you're so silly! I just love that you love yellow! I love yellow, too!"



"I just think yellow is great!"

"Me too! I can't believe we both like yellow!"

"Remember that yellow car?"

"Yeah it was awesome! Let's talk about that, now"

"Ok, cars are great!"

"Yeah, I love cars!"

"Me too!"

"I can't believe we both love cars!"



Do you get my drift?



Anyway, I digress, again, but that's ok, because this is a rant. Rants are stream of conciousness, right? right?



So, anyway...bring back intelligent, thought provoking threads, I say! Fight the tide of fluff! Dig into the depths of the forums and BUMP that thread that really made you think! If the fluff knocks it off the front page...well, bump it again, I say! Vive la BUMP!



My favorite color is blue. No...green...ahhh hell....

Apparently, I hate snakes.
00:42 Feb 06 2005
Times Read: 1,019



The Indiana Jones Adventure: An excavation of an
exotic temple promises to reveal its mysteries
until something goes terribly wrong! You are a
wild jeep ride through a vengeful ancient
temple that has been treaded upon one to many
times. Your experiences read like an action
adventure flick (could it be that you are based
on one?) and your John Williams-esk score makes
you grandiouse, purposeful, and larger than
life. Fully immersive and completely themed,
you really do give your passengers a wild ride
and work hard for their sastifaction... in fact
each trip through your caverns of fire, snake
pits, lightening illuminated ruins, and dart
filled passages is just a little different.
You are chaotic, but to the point and somehow
you bring out the noble side in everyone, the
inner Indiana Jones in every soul, even if
Disneyland couldn't secure the rights to the
likeness of Harrison Ford. Beware the Eyes of
Mara indeed.



What Disneyland attraction are you?
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A Lost Hope, Indeed....
14:32 Feb 04 2005
Times Read: 1,028

Pretty much anyone who knows me, knows I'm a huge fan. Hell, I even like Jar Jar. heheh Anyway, Jamie, from this site, sent me this link and I though it was damned funny. Open up another window and paste this sucker in.



http://www.newgrounds.com/video/losthope.html

Have you seen this boy?
14:27 Feb 04 2005
Times Read: 1,030






The entry I wrote about Daire, here, has gone missing. I've put posters up all over town, but noone can seem to find it. If you have any information concerning my missing Jounral entry, please message me. I miss it so.

Bouncy Ball...Part 2
19:14 Feb 02 2005
Times Read: 1,041

Well, I found the ball. It's been missing for almost a week. It was under my desk. It was definitely watching me.