The Ultimate Vampire Resource and Directory

In and out
09:15 May 31 2006
Times Read: 844

I have been away for a short bit. Each day that passed I thought, "Well, I don't have time to go through the messages and if I go, I will have to check them and if I check one and reply, I have to do them all."



So I haven't.



I have been keeping busy. Still working on finishing the painting, fighting ants, other bugs, ripping the tile from the floor and replacing it in the bathroom, and jogging a tad at night.



We went to see Poseidon our anniversary weekend (weekend of May 21st) and it rocked! I really liked it and the special effects. It was quite a wild ride of a movie. I wish it had beat The Divinci (Da Vinci) Code. I heard that was ssssooooooo boring. Still, it's holding in there from what I saw.



Going to watch When a stranger calls in about 30 minutes. We have seen it before, but not as good of quality. ;) We joined Netflix. It works out to be about 4 movies a month if you watch it as soon as you get it.

Cool spiritual jewelry!
09:21 May 19 2006
Times Read: 858

This is some really neat spiritual jewelry. I think Khay babe would like this shit. =)



http://www.ka-gold-jewelry.com/p-categories/jewelry-images-p1.php









Cool Merkaba pendants. I want one in gold.



http://www.ka-gold-jewelry.com/p-products/merkaba-gold-med.php

Psychic test
09:16 May 19 2006
Times Read: 859

Here is a fun psychic test. You write in 2 numbers to guess between. Then click start. Then pick a number and place in the bottom line and click guess. It will tell you if you are too high or too low. Put in another number and guess again.



http://www.paranormality.com/psi_esp_game01.shtml

Why?
12:02 May 18 2006
Times Read: 867

Why do they make bug spray with a floral scent? When I sprayed some at one of those fucking huge wood roaches that invade us every spring, I got a whiff of a field of flowers. "Ah, how lovely!". Then, it's like, "What a minute! That shit just killed him when he inhaled it!".





And like I just wrote to Daire, all the Zen in the world cannot convince me to let those huge, flying monster roaches invade my bathroom (the moisture). What's really scary is when they decide to fly into my bedroom where I am watching TV every night. I see a big, black mass of something flying into and across the room and then disappear as it makes a loud THUD on the wall. That is a very scary thing for someone such as myself that has a hard time even getting near these things. I get chills, literally when thinking about them.



And so that leaves the option of spraying a steady stream of poison into my lovely and toxic free room, filling it with the stench of noxious fumes all night.

Two copies
11:59 May 18 2006
Times Read: 871

Daire likes it when people write this to him.



"Two copies"

Homecoming...by ventrueprince2
06:08 May 18 2006
Times Read: 872

ventrueprince2 wrote this with me as his muse. I thought that was quite the compliment.









"Its late in the evening when I come home from work, I am tired but I am thinking of you. As I enter the house I notice all the lights are turned off, yet I knew you were home.



As I walked up the stairs, I noticed the hall bathroom is glowing with soft lights from candles you have placed about the tub and floor, but it isn't the candles that have aroused my desire...its you.



You are lying in a creamy, soapy tub of bath water, gently rubbing soap over you long beautiful legs.



As you hold one leg up in the air, I feel a hunger in me burning as I watch the water and soap slide caressingly down your beautiful leg muscles.



I hear a moan escape your lips as you rise out of the water and sit with your back against the shower wall and spread your beautiful legs wide.



My silence is killing me for I want to cry out, but I dare not as I witness a beautiful sight in the most private of moments.



Your beautiful, hot pink sex dripping, from water and soap, thats slowly sliding down from your full milky wet breasts.



I watch you totally amazed, as you gently caress your body, slowly loving yourself right before my eyes.



Your wet nipples seemed to dance in your fingertips as you tease them, making them hard and ready.



My desire for you was nearly bursting from my pants, as I watched you slide your hands down your body to those beautiful pink lips I longed to kiss for myself.



Spreading them wide, I felt you when you moaned and your stomach tightened, as you inserted two fingers and began to slowing stroke your wet, juicy sex.



I watched in awe and excitement, seeing your wet body pulse and vibrate, the muscles of your beautiful little frame heaving and straining in tune with the sensuous strokes you were giving yourself.



Watching you was incredible and I could not help stripping out of my clothes as I watched you secretly from the stairs.



Standing there completely nude, I began to stroke and please myself slowly in time with your movements...wanting so badly to cum with you.



But you were more clever than I thought, you knew I was there, watching you.



You could sense me loving you with my eyes and with my heart and knowing how much I wanted to be with you...you had decided to welcome your tired man home with something special.



Just as your orgasm hit... you looked straight at me, allowing me to see the rush of passion in your eyes, the hunger and desire on your face as I witnessed the power of your sex shake your beautiful body with erotic pleasure.



I felt the electricity of it hit me like a wave and all of my weary bones responded with new vigor and strength. My blood was ready to Frenzy and I had to have you then and there.



Yet, you knew this too. You know me so well. You know passion is my "Vitae" and I crave yours above all else. You knew it when you gave me that sexy, wicked smile of yours.



You knew it when you licked your fingers, tasting your own sweet immortal nectar, while I stood there staring at you.



You knew it when you looked at me and beckoned me to enter your bath with you.



As I stepped into the bathroom and eased my body into the water....I knew it, too."

Mine is farting my name
12:15 May 17 2006
Times Read: 878

Thought this was funny. One of his hobbies is depression.



"my hobbies include

depresion,swimming,reading,

writeing, metaphysics,,,,the V.R."

Clocks!
12:03 May 17 2006
Times Read: 881

I got another clock for Mother's Day. I love clocks. I want a Grandfather's Clock that has that slow, deep resonating TOCK, with each swing of the pendulum. But I have yet to find that. Still, in the meantime, I have collected some cool ones.



The one I got for MD is a wall pendalum clock, with the westminster chime. Old looking style. I love old stuff. I have two of those now. So it just struck 6am and they both went off, in addition to the bird clock that chirps a different bird song on the hour. It is from the Audubon society. Anyway, it just got a bit crazy in here with all the clocks going off on the hour! Ha! Doesn't mix with Dave Mathews.

My Slimfast Milkshake is better than yours
11:39 May 17 2006
Times Read: 882

Danny finally decided that he wants to lose some weight. So he weighed in to start yesterday and it was 196 1/2. Today, it was 194 1/2. He didn't drink any pop and ate much less, and drank a ton of water. How can that fucker lose 2 pounds in a day when I can't anymore? Ugh, frustrating. But, at least he got some great results.



I bought some Slimfast Ultra Chocolate drinks. It comes in a 6 or 8 pack I believe. I asked him how it was and he whined around about it. I tried one and it tastes like a melted chocolate bar. It was good, I thought. But you see, he has a different frame of reference. He doesn't believe in eating or drinking things that don't taste like pop or sweets. I am used to drinking or eating things that may taste bland or eh, because they are good for me. It's quite an accomplishment getting vegetables down his gullet.



I made a huge salad way early this morning for today. It had everything in it, you name it....broccoli sprouts, carrots, cucumbers, tomatoes, lettuce (iceberg), spinach leaves, mushrooms, and green peppers. That it? Oh yea, and broccoli. Now he won't touch broccoli. But I was able to cut it into minute pieces to mask it for the most part. He came in at supper, after eating a bowl of salad and said, "Oh you are sneaky aren't you? Yea, you thought you would get it in there didn't you? You know what I am talking about!". I said, "I told you to just shut up and eat what I put in front of you!", laughing. He ate it.



I got him to quit smoking in January. Hasn't smoked one since. He tells people it's because I ride him like a jockey about it.



He will probably weigh another 2 pounds lighter tomorrow.



I just wanted to lose a pound or 2. Can't seem to do that. Lost some toning that I had. I am just so bored with working out as much. I still do everyday though....just not to the extent I was. Not cool, since I am getting older too.

Birthday wishes for me
10:56 May 17 2006
Times Read: 883

My birthday is coming up! Yay presents! I decided I want these speakers for this year's bday. I already have the 2.1's. Fucking Klipsch rocks!



Klipsch ProMedia Ultra 5.1 Personal Audio System (6-Piece)



500 watts, I am going to rock the block even more than I do now. If the suckers would come back into stock. Best Buy is out of stock! =(





"Klipsch ProMedia Ultra 5.1 Personal Audio System (6-Piece)



Model: Ultra 5.1



Transform your desktop into a high-end home theater with astonishing highs and room-rattling bass.



Four 2-way satellites, one 2-way center channel and a dual-driver 8" subwoofer



Impressive 500 watts of total amplified power

Micro-Tractrix high-frequency horn tweeters produce clean, accurate highs



3" fiber composite cone driver for smooth mid-bass reproduction



Bass-reflex subwoofer with dual 8" side-firing fiber composite drivers and a flared, tuned port



Magnetically shielded center channel speaker with rear post angle adjustment for optimum positioning; SWS link for optional subwoofer add-on (not included)





500-watt BASH (Bridged Amplifier/Switching Hybrid) amplifier for dynamic headroom, deep defined bass response, clear highs and midrange and lowest distortion





User-friendly control tower houses separate main, center, rear and subwoofer volume controls



2 stereo mini plug jacks for headphones and portable audio devices



Warranty Terms - Parts 1-year limited

Speaker Configuration 4 speakers with center channel and subwoofer



Flat-Panel Design No

Digital Decoder Included No

Number of Channels 5.1

Speaker Power 60W each

Subwoofer Power 170W

Speaker Controls Power|Volume

Location of Controls On control box

Frequency Response 25Hz - 20kHz

Impedance 5 ohms

Headphone Output Yes

Latest kitten stuff
10:23 May 17 2006
Times Read: 885

The mother kitty keeps meowing like a mofo outside. She knows the routine now. She meows and we let her in to feed the kittens. But now I have a litter box set up and am feeding them solid canned food, with a milk and egg chaser. Though the past 2 days, it's been water and milk, and just water with the canned food. She still whines and meows and yells to be let in, but won't really feed them. She comes in to eat. But that won't fly with me when they are meowing and she keeps getting out of the box, flipping fleas and whatever else all over the place.



But she cleans them. Feeds them a little, so...she can come in a bit longer. Besides, they do need some time with her. Soon they will be gone. She already runs under our feet to get in the house and it's a circus trying to get in without her running in too. HA...that is a sight!



They are 5 weeks old now. Tiny cat poop is now in the litter box I have put together for them. It's always a welcome sight to see them pick that up. They do too, immediately! I wish I could give them away this next weekend, but at almost 6 weeks old seems a tad too soon.



*sigh*



Oh, she just got out of the box again. I have to grab her and take her outside. It's funny, because as soon as she sees me coming to take her out, there is that moment where I can almost hear her say, "No, look! I am going back in, see?! Don't need to go outside, no, I am going back in!".



Always have a few wet nipples on my arm as I carry her outside. Ever have that?

Haha...
10:16 May 17 2006
Times Read: 887

Diamon:



wow you vixxen you





Now I didn't say anything, that was just from a portfolio view.

Fuck! At least I got it.
10:04 May 17 2006
Times Read: 889

R E I N S T I T U T I O N A L I Z A T I O N

Numerology link that is way cool and quite accurate
09:32 May 17 2006
Times Read: 892

This is quite an accurate numerology read. I suggest it to everyone! =)







"There are 11 letters in your name.

Those 11 letters total to 47

There are 5 vowels and 6 consonants in your name.



Your number is: 11



The characteristics of #11 are: High spiritual plane, intuitive, illumination, idealist, a dreamer.



The expression or destiny for #11:

Your Expression number is 11. The number 11 is the first of the master numbers. It is associated with idealistic concepts and rather spiritual issues. Accordingly, it is a number with potentials that are somewhat more difficult to live up to. You have the capacity to be inspirational, and the ability to lead merely by your own example. An inborn inner strength and awareness can make you an excellent teacher, social worker, philosopher, or advisor. No matter what area of work you pursue, you are very aware and sensitive to the highest sense of your environment. Your intuition is very strong; in fact, many psychic people and those involved in occult studies have the number 11 expression. You possess a good mind with keen analytical ability. Because of this you can probably succeed in most lines of work, however, you will do better and be happier outside of the business world. Oddly enough, even here you generally succeed, owing to your often original and unusual approach. Nonetheless, you are more content working with your ideals, rather than dollars and cents.



The positive aspect of the number 11 expression is an always idealistic attitude. Your thinking is long term, and you are able to grasp the far-reaching effects of actions and plans. You are disappointed by the shortsighted views of many of your contemporaries. You are deeply concerned and supportive of art, music, or of beauty in any form.



The negative attitudes associated with the number 11 expression include a continuous sense of nervous tension; you may be too sensitive. You tend to dream a lot and may be more of a dreamer than a doer. Fantasy and reality sometimes become intermingled and you are sometimes very impractical. You tend to want to spread the illumination of your knowledge to others irrespective of their desire or need.



Your Soul Urge number is: 22



A Soul Urge number of 22 means:

The Soul Urge of the master number 22 is very much that of the master builder. You would like to use your abilities in an important humanitarian undertaking, and have an innate desire is to express the significant power you feel in a concrete manner, as a builder, engineer, diplomat, etc. In some way you want to make a considerable contribution to the world.



The 22 gives a broad, universal outlook with a rather practical and common-sense approach. You have especially high intelligence, with an unusual perception and awareness. This number often denotes a high degree of diplomatic abilities and high ideals. You are a very capable person and you may possess special leadership abilities that you can and should develop. People respect you and recognize your superior foresight and vision.



The negative side of the 22 soul urge is a high degree of nervous energy and a tendency to be somewhat dominating. It is unfortunate that all who possess the urge of 22 do not use its energies to the greatest advantage; but then it should be recognized that these energies are understandably the most difficult to focus and direct.



Your Inner Dream number is: 7



An Inner Dream number of 7 means:

You dream of having the opportunity to read, study, and shut yourself off from worldly distractions. You can see yourself as a teacher, mystic, or ecclesiastic, spending your life in the pursuit of knowledge and learning."







http://www.paulsadowski.com/Numbers.asp

Birthday calculator! Way cool!
09:29 May 17 2006
Times Read: 893

Birthday Calculator

You entered: 6/5/1969



Your date of conception was on or about 12 September 1968 which was a Thursday.

You were born on a Thursday

under the astrological sign Gemini.

Your Life path number is 9.



Life Path Compatibility:

You are most compatible with those with the Life Path numbers 3, 6 & 9.

You should get along well with those with the Life Path numbers 1 & 5.

You may or may not get along well with those with the Life Path numbers 2, 7 & 11.

You are least compatible with those with the Life Path numbers 4, 8 & 22.



The Julian calendar date of your birth is 2440377.5.

The golden number for 1969 is 13.

The epact number for 1969 is 11.

The year 1969 was not a leap year.



Your birthday falls into the Chinese year beginning 2/17/1969 and ending 2/5/1970.

You were born in the Chinese year of the Rooster.



The date of Easter on your birth year was Sunday, 6 April 1969.

The date of Orthodox Easter on your birth year was Sunday, 13 April 1969.

The date of Ash Wednesday (the first day of Lent) on your birth year was Wednesday 19 February 1969.

The date of Whitsun (Pentecost Sunday) in the year of your birth was Sunday 25 May 1969.

The date of Whisuntide in the year of your birth was Sunday 1 June 1969.

The date of Rosh Hashanah in the year of your birth was Saturday, 13 September 1969.

The date of Passover in the year of your birth was Thursday, 3 April 1969.

The date of Mardi Gras on your birth year was Tuesday 18 February 1969.



As of 5/17/2006 4:22:28 AM EDT

You are 36 years old.

You are 443 months old.

You are 1,928 weeks old.

You are 13,495 days old.

You are 323,884 hours old.

You are 19,433,062 minutes old.

You are 1,165,983,748 seconds old.



Your age is the equivalent of a dog that is 5.28180039138943 years old. (You're still chasing cats!)







There are 19 days till your next birthday

on which your cake will have 37 candles.



Those 37 candles produce 37 BTUs,

or 9,324 calories of heat (that's only 9.3240 food Calories!) .

You can boil 4.23 US ounces of water with that many candles.





In 1969 there were approximately 3.7 million births in the US.

In 1969 the US population was approximately 179,323,175 people, 50.6 persons per square mile.

In 1969 in the US there were approximately 1,800,000 marriages (9.3%) and 479,000 divorces (2.5%)

In 1969 in the US there were approximately 1,712,000 deaths (9.5 per 1000)

In the US a new person is born approximately every 8 seconds.

In the US one person dies approximately every 12 seconds.





Your birthstone is Alexandrite

The Mystical properties of Alexandrite



Alexandrite can assist one in centering the self, reinforcing self-esteem, and augmenting ones ability to experience joy.

Some lists consider these stones to be your birthstone. (Birthstone lists come from Jewelers, Tibet, Ayurvedic Indian medicine, and other sources)



Pearl, Moonstone, Opal



Your birth tree is



Hornbeam, the good taste

Of cool beauty, cares for its looks and condition, good taste, tends to egoism, makes life as comfortable as possible, leads reasonable, disciplined life, looks for kindness, an emotional partner and acknowledgment, dreams of unusual lovers, is seldom happy with her feelings, mistrusts most people, is never sure of its decisions, very conscientious.







There are 222 days till Christmas 2006!

There are 235 days till Orthodox Christmas!



The moon's phase on the day you were

born was waning gibbous.





http://www.paulsadowski.com/birthday.asp



~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~



Then you click on a link from that page and it goes to a moon thingy.



http://www.paulsadowski.com/moonphases/default.asp



~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Coolest message so far tonight
08:06 May 17 2006
Times Read: 896

From:

gothpunkstarfighter12





01:55:24

May 17 2006



LOL, the hottest "lurker" on VR!!!! ;)





~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~



Ok, this was cute:



On 12:12:11 May 16 2006 atyourwindow wrote:



happy pre birthday to you jamie!.....you are very beautiful....what are the odds you are single?

Wisdom of the Day
13:59 May 16 2006
Times Read: 901

I LOVE Andy Griffith!!!



http://www.tvland.com/shows/griffith/sounds_and_pix/town.jhtml





Wisdom of the Day



"You know what they say about a man who keeps puttin off getting married? They say he starts getting irritable. "

- Barney Fife

From my Higher Awareness spiritual email message today
13:36 May 16 2006
Times Read: 902

Dream!



"The most pathetic person in the world is the person who has sight, but no vision."



-- Helen Keller



What’s the big picture for your life? Always have a larger, purposeful, even spiritually ideal picture of where you are going. Your mind needs to have a clear and challenging vision to draw you ever upwards.



"Far away there in the sunshine are my highest aspirations. I may not reach them, but I can look up and see their beauty, believe in them, and follow where they lead."



-- Louisa May Alcott



"The only limits are, as always, those of vision."



-- James Broughton



Create a personal mission statement. Identify your vision, values, virtues, passions and meaning of life. Clarify your personality and soul purpose. Understand and align with your life purpose and watch your life change.

Latest convos of night
11:08 May 16 2006
Times Read: 908

Some of my convo with VampireSiren tonight. =)

Bottom up:



On 10:35:25 May 16 2006 VampireSiren wrote:



That is really profound.

See, your easy to get along with.

And I happen to get along with people.. who are easy to get along with.

LOL.



On 10:30:22 May 16 2006 Jamie wrote:



Steer clear of those people. =) Problem solved. One thing to keep in mind, is that people can say what they want, but it won't bother you unless YOU believe it inside. If I told you you were purple, you would laugh because you know it's not true and you don't believe that about yourself. But if someone says something about you that is cutting but plays on your insecurities that you already have about yourself, then the problem not only lies with them being an asshole and you need to leave them, but it is about how you see yourself. =) Forgive yourself for doing what you have done, and stay away from the jerks. Time is too short to hang out with assholes.



You know this already though, eh? =) Always nice to have a refresher course huh? haha....I know what you feel about being upset though. I have insecurities and get my feelings hurt quite often. I feel very strongly about things. =) And that's why I don't hang out with many people anymore. Life is simplier that way. Online or in life.



On 10:24:59 May 16 2006 VampireSiren wrote:



Yeah well. New Journal Entry, i think its under Private, go read the entire conversation lol.

Im so sick of people throwing my sexual endeavors in my face.



On 10:15:05 May 16 2006 Jamie wrote:



I thought I answered this, but not sure. I am sorry to hear that your friend has given in to hearing the rumors. Surely she will come around. =)



On 09:16:21 May 16 2006 VampireSiren wrote:



Yeah im being hit hard by someone I thought saw me for me, but shes kinda giving into VRs conspiracy about me.

Pretty hurtful.



~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~



yep any time ur really cute



On 11:02:30 May 16 2006 Jamie wrote:



Hey thanks for the bite! =)



On 10:54:19 May 16 2006 jordan wrote:





You've been bitten by jordan!

I am a tsunami. SOMEBODY went through the quizzes tonight! ;)
11:01 May 16 2006
Times Read: 909


Take the quiz:
What Natural DISASTER are you?

Tsunami
(ts-nm)n. pl. tsunamis A very large ocean wave caused by an underwater earthquake or volcanic eruption.you are an introverted quiet type who does not enjoy social situations or people in general. you keep your head in emergencies and you can depend on yourself for love and companionship. fuck those annoying earthlings.

Quizzes by myYearbook.com -- the World's Biggest Yearbook!

I am a raining kiss
09:32 May 16 2006
Times Read: 911


Take the quiz:
Which famous movie kiss are you?

Breakfast At Tiffany's
You are the Breakfast At Tiffany's kiss!

Quizzes by myYearbook.com -- the World's Biggest Yearbook!

I am a Shelby.....apparently. Well....I prefer a '66 Mustang convertible
09:27 May 16 2006
Times Read: 912


Take the quiz:
What kind of muscle car are you?

1967 Shelby GT 500
You are a 1967 Shelby GT 500. You love your car because it's rare. You know you can whoop on most other cars, but you tend not to because you don't want to scratch your paint. You try to keep as many miles off of your car as you can.

Quizzes by myYearbook.com -- the World's Biggest Yearbook!

Shoulda.....not
10:19 May 15 2006
Times Read: 917

Went to mom's this weekend. All us kids could make it. The weekend was going just great until we went ghost hunting at a cemetery right by mom's house (a mile away). We are running around, here and there....ok, I am, Danny and my brothers are walking slowly, and one of my brothers felt the need to start down talking the orbs we get in our pictures and what they "really" are in his opinion. I knew he was over there doing that, so I tried to stay away from him because I knew it would just piss me off. Danny can blow it off a bit easier than I can. But the time came when I had to go over to where they were.



My brother is very smart, and likes to argue, so he thinks he can debate with me on the ghost thing, even though he has studied on it NADDA. And if someone has an opposite view he seems to think it's ok to try to pick their belief apart until they see it his way or feel completely stupid about their view.



This is his insecurities about himself. The ghost issues are of his insecurities with me. He knows I am the "sensitive" one of us kids. I too, am intelligent as well. We all are. I have studied on ghostly subjects for years, and have experienced so many of these situations, viewed tons of investigations on shows and saw their findings, etc....and so I am no novice. I am not a professional, though by now I should be!



But I have grown weary of the same old disbeliever bullshit. I certainly don't want to hear it from him. Besides, he is supposed to be on my side. ;)



He tried the 'ol, "it's dust", but we have taken 100s of cemetery pictures, and haunted places and I have dust pics.....and they do not look like the orbs. It is different. But he wouldn't know because he doesn't ever go investigating. Besides, Danny and I were both getting the orbs on one side of the cemetery but not the other and we both got a lot of them around a family plot area. That was way cool. If it were dust, it would be everywhere, and in every picture, which they are not. Eh, pfft........



He tried to say they were reflections. Off of? They appear in the pitch black sky. Or in a tree. See, someone that knows photography, would know the difference between a reflection and an orb. He knows not of photography either.





*sigh*



It was real hard to be cordial and nice after we got into it, on the way back home. But I fixed cinnamon rolls for everyone before going to the bedroom to feed the kittens and be alone for awhile, with my mp3 player.



In my "should have" world, I do not think that he should have said a word about it. In my world, I think that, knowing how passionately I feel about it all, he should have just kept his debate to himself and just talked about all the other random shit he usually does.



Today was fine. We were all talking and giving hugs goodbye, saying our, "I love you's".



But I thought about it all the way home and fuck if I can let it go yet. Haha.....Eh, that's what journaling is for on here, yes? Theraputic.

BMI
08:23 May 15 2006
Times Read: 918

To find your BMI.





http://www.cdc.gov/nccdphp/dnpa/bmi/adult_BMI/english_bmi_calculator/bmi_calculator.htm

Happy Mutha's Day, bitches!
07:44 May 12 2006
Times Read: 927

Happy Mutha's Day, bitches!



Going to mom's house, tomorrow, for the weekend. That means packing up 6 kittens and hoping they won't shit all over themselves on the way over, because I am not licking their butts to clean them like momma cat does. That she does do. She isn't feeding them as well as I did (BOTTLE FED-HA), but at least she is alittle bit and cleaning them. I am going to introduce them to solid, canned cat food too. It is always cute to see them first playing in cat litter.



I am so done with cats though. Yea, kittens are cute, but they are a pain in the ass. We have been doing this for years now. I am more a dog person.



We may be getting a Yorkie puppy soon. Actually a local breeder (Danny's friend from long ago), created Cairen and Yorkie puppies. They call them designer dogs now. Funny how we used to call them MUTS when I was growing up. We were going to go look at them to pick one out this weekend and then, when I called mom...



"Are you guys coming over this weekend?"



"Um, well, I don't know if Danny has a truck or work to do. I will have to ask him about it.".



"Well, it is Mother's Day..."



"Yes, I was thinking about that a few days ago. Will ask Danny and see...."



"Well, if it's a hardship, don't worry about it.".





*sigh*



We leave tomorrow at 5pm.

Fear and Other Illusions
07:05 May 10 2006
Times Read: 931

Fear and Other Illusions - ICR 62

>

> Hopefully, by now you see what I mean when I say that fear, poverty,

> misery, and cold do not exist?

>

> What I mean is that they have no essence - no reality - no vibration.

> They

> have no energy. I of course know that we can "experience" fear, poverty,

> sadness, and cold, but what is it that we are experiencing?

>

> There is no such "thing" as cold, but I still greatly prefer heat to an

> absence of heat. There is no such "entity" as poverty but I can tell the

> difference between abundance and an absence of abundance. I prefer

> abundance and so that's what I dwell on.

>

> Focusing on poverty only leads to more poverty!

>



>

> P.S. I promise that focusing on realities (essences) and not absences or

> lacks will transform your life. Learning how to direct energy and create

> reality is one of the purposes of this earth school. To create reality -

> you

> have to know what is real and what is not!

>

> Learning what is light and what is not, and how to create with thought is

> the very purpose of life. Learn how to do this at:

>

> http://ICreateReality.com

Cool
11:50 May 09 2006
Times Read: 938

Just signed up for the frapper map thingy that Jason's got going on for the house. Way cool!



Odd, right in the middle of doing it, my left hand has sorta given out. I can hardly type or hold onto anything, like my hand has no pressure. It is very weird and scary feeling. ??! Wtf?



Shit, the phone.....

One of 4,383
10:17 May 09 2006
Times Read: 939

I am going through my old emails. I have 4,383 in my inbox. 1932 unread. *sigh*



I get so many spiritual ones, and health ones...not to mention the ones forwarded to me. This is one.



Read Each One Carefully and Think About It a Second or Two



>

>

>

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>1. I love you not because of who you are, but because of who I am when I am

>with you.

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>2. No man or woman is worth your tears, and the one who is, won't make you

>cry.

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>3. Just because someone doesn't love you the way you want them to, doesn't

>mean they don't love you with all they have.

>

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>4.. A true friend is someone who reaches for your hand and touches your

>heart.

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>5.. The worst way to miss someone is to be sitting right beside them knowing

>you can't have them.

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>6.. Never frown, even when you are sad, because you never know who is

>falling in love with your smile.

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>7. To the world you may be one person, but to one person you may be the

>world.

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>8. Don't waste your time on a man/woman, who isn't willing to waste their

>time on you.

>

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>9..You will meet a few wrong people before meeting the right

>one, so that when we finally meet the person, we will know how to be

>grateful.

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>10.. Don't cry because it is over, smile because it happened.

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>11. There's always going to be people that hurt you so what you have to do

>is keep on trusting and just be more careful about who you trust next time

>around.

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>12. Make yourself a better person and know who you are before you try and

>know someone else and expect them to know you.

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>13. Don't try so hard, the best things come when you least expect them to.

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>REMEMBER: WHATEVER HAPPENS, HAPPENS FOR A REASON.

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>True friends: How many people actually have 8 true friends?

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>Hardly anyone I know ! But some of us have all right friends and good

>friends!!!

She won a ...!
08:47 May 09 2006
Times Read: 941

Surreal chat...issues
12:58 May 08 2006
Times Read: 945

My dad has internet now. It is completely surreal that he is on now and emailing me! I hooked him up with an anti-virus, ad-aware, msn and yahoo chat, etc...



Now he wants to chat on IM every night (that he is home. He is a truck driver and gone now). He never wanted to chat when I was younger, after I grew past the age of, say, 7 years old. We actually had a decent father/daughter relationship. I used to go on runs with him (truck runs), all over the United States. But then I got older and he had no idea how to relate without being critical.



It started with the cell phone. He calls on the phone. Actually it is great being able to finally have an older type relationship, and creating a better bond than before. He told mom not too long ago, that he likes talking to me and marveled at how intelligent I was, that I knew a lot of facts. She was like, "Well duh!".



And he is different than in person. So I came up with the terms, "phone dad" and "home dad". Now, "IM dad", to add to the list.



IM and phone dad = Cool and happy, and interested in what you have to say. Communicative.



Home dad = Bad mood much of the time, always complaining about some smell he thinks he smells, always wants us to clean for him.



I understand. He didn't have a father to teach him how to do it.



We are breaking the cycle. At least we will find out if it was successful when Harmony is about 27. That is about the age that our issues come out to play. ;) Give or take a year....

Little Known Fact of the day = my neurosis (contin.)
12:45 May 08 2006
Times Read: 947

1. I don't like to eat out because I don't like to eat in front of people.



2. I don't like to eat the whole piece of fattening food, so I sometimes leave a bite or two, so that it will seem that I didn't eat the whole thing, therefore, cannot be that fattening and couldn't possibly gain weight from it.



3. I wear a bra to bed. Some women do not.



4. I don't like morning sex. I like it at night, but before I get too tired. See new entry for the rest of this.



5. I love to smell things. I love the way men smell. I love the smell of the bed on them. I smell everyone and everything. Actually, I guess it's all of my senses that I love, and make full use of.



6. I carry around a little furry mouse (one of those you buy at the pet store that is real fur toys, the size of a tater tot). She is a friend of mine. Her name is Louise. Everyone in my family knows her too and talks to and about Louise. She has her own traveling case and goes with us everywhere. I make her outfits. She is the hamster I couldn't take in my purse. Ever see Castaway, with Tom Hanks and his ball, Wilson? That is me and Louise.



7. I don't talk on the phone, except with a very select few. Otherwise, I just can't bring myself to answer it. I prefer texting. So if you need to get ahold of me, you will have to text me. People expect you to entertain them on the phone and it wears me out, either dancing for them, so to speak or listening to them ramble on for hours. I just decided to stop answering the phone. Danny says my cell is just a caller ID.



8. I do not suffer fools gladly.



9. I quit smoking weed a long time ago, because it started to feel like every time I was high, I had to really go to the bathroom....but I wasn't sure. But I used to really love to get high and listen to music...especially Floyd. I still love Floyd.



10. I have danced on tables when drunk. Once I danced nude in front of several teens. I fell over a chair, but they didn't seem to notice. It was to, "You can leave your hat on", from 9 1/2 Weeks. I have since danced to it and was fine.



10 1/2. Made $20 dancing on a bar.



11. I got an art scholarship when graduated from High School.



12. I am adopted.



13. I have had sex with...hmm...about 18-20 people. Forgot exact number. I intended it to be higher.

Demonic Bear on Ebay
12:01 May 08 2006
Times Read: 950

My brother sent this to me. I don't know how he found it. To my knowledge, I am the only Ebay addict in the family. Anyway, he sent this link to me about a demonic bear for sale. It is up to $320. What was really funny was the questions that people wrote in and asked and the guy's replies.





http://cgi.ebay.com/ws/eBayISAPI.dll?ViewItem&item=6056014456

Checking in
11:26 May 08 2006
Times Read: 955








Passing through. I wanted to put the 80s internet player back on my profile. I have been painting tonight. I had to take a breather and then going back to it. But it IS 5:17am, and Buffy will be on at 6am. Today is the episode where the naughty Willow is on. You know, the one where the other side Willow comes over. I LOVE the episodes where the other Willow comes over. I love the way she says, "Bored now..."!! I find myself saying that same thing.



We rented The Family Stone Friday night. It sucked. It was stupid. The movie goes to the trouble of making the family nice and close with each other and then total dicks to the girl he brings home to meet them. It pissed me off and didn't seem to jive with the characters original manner. ?!! At the end, I cried because it just reminded me that when you lose a loved one, things are never, ever the same.



I think about that a lot, unfortunately. I think about what it will be like when I lose my loved ones. I already know how it's going to feel. It is going to be overwhelmingly panicky. Like I want things to be the way they were, RIGHT NOW! And it won't be and that is a very scary and lonely feeling. I know, I need to live it while I can. And I do. I really do. But it seems it is at those moments that I am the happiest and feeling the most alive that those thoughts come back....the, "Oh yea, this will all be over with someday." And I wonder if anyone will ever know that I love to dance with Danny around the house? Or that we sing songs about each other? Or that all of us are always laughing and cracking each other up? Will people know that I cry when I see suffering? Who will know these things? *sigh*



We also rented Wolf Creek. Why? I dunno. I love scary movies, but can't handle gore. Unfortunately they mostly go hand in hand. I've always liked scary movies, but had to hide from them while watching. When I was watching the last Texas chainsaw movie, I had to watch it in increments. HA....I imagine this will be the same. I read some thread entrys on IMBD.com and some say it was really scary, some said it crossed lines and some said they didn't know why people were freaking, that it was merely scary and suspenseful. I do have the unrated version btw. I didn't see the "tamer" R rating. hahaha.....jeez......



I used to read true crime books. I used to want to study those serial people to see why they did it. I am still interested in it, but couldn't handle all the continuous darkness surrounding those people.



Noticed 2 more people took me off their journal list and down to 199 friends. "Friends". Well it's not like I've left or anything, jeez! Reminds me of that Manson song, "The Dope Show"---



"they love you, when you're on all the covers.

when you're not, then they love another..."



I gotta go paint.

Fickle!
10:48 May 03 2006
Times Read: 965

I was gone a week and a few days and lost a few people on my journal and friend list. Jeez, fickle!

Teen's story was a hoax
10:43 May 03 2006
Times Read: 966

I am posting this, because this happened in the town I grew up in and go back to somewhat often. I was watching Fox News the night it happened and saw a snippet of "Independence, Kansas...", and thought, "What the fuck?!". Come to find out that night when I checked my other email, that it is the neice of a girl I went to school and graduated with! Crazy...Something to talk about at the 20 year reunion next year, huh?







Police: Teen's kidnap story a hoax



Monday, April 17, 2006; Posted: 10:52 a.m. EDT (14:52 GMT)





Kelsey Stelting, was missing for about 15 hours.



Amber Alert

Federal Bureau of Investigation (FBI)







INDEPENDENCE, Kansas (AP) -- A 16-year-old girl's story of being kidnapped at gunpoint from her family's driveway and then held in a white van for hours was a hoax, authorities said Thursday.



Police and FBI agents said Kelsey Stelting acknowledged Thursday morning that it never happened and said she instead spent the day alone not far from town.



The reported abduction around dawn Tuesday led Kansas officials to issue an Amber Alert, the FBI brought in 30 agents and other personnel to join the search, and officials in Oklahoma were notified to be on the look-out for a white van.



Kelsey was missing for about 15 hours before turning up at a stranger's home in her small southeast Kansas town. She said she had clobbered her assailant and was able to escape.



In reality, officials said, she jogged to an area southwest of Independence, called 911 to report that she had been abducted, and then stayed there alone.



"She said that all of the original statements she made regarding the abduction were false and that she acted alone," the law enforcement agencies said in a written statement.



Kelsey could be charged with filing a false police report, a misdemeanor, Police Chief Lee Bynum said.



He said police will turn over reports to the county's juvenile prosecutor to decide. FBI agent Jeff Lanza said he didn't foresee any federal charges. Authorities would not say Thursday what motivated the girl to report a fake abduction.



"That's between her and her family," Bynum said. He said answering such questions might require him to reveal medical information that he's not qualified to discuss.



The family did not immediately return calls seeking comment.



Police on Wednesday released the tape and transcript of Kelsey's 911 call. She told the dispatcher that a man with a gun had approached her in the driveway of her home about 6:30 a.m., forced her to run several blocks as he followed, then forced her into a white van outside a lumber yard.



Friends and acquaintances described Kelsey as bright, a good student who is involved in softball, cheerleading, dance squad and student government. They said they didn't see signs of trouble at home or school or anything to cause them to doubt that she'd been abducted.



"Every single one of us will tell you that Kelsey's a very forthright young woman," Stelting's mother, Kelly Cox, said Wednesday. "If you listen to that 911 call, and I think if you're a mom or a dad, I think you hear in her voice the trauma, that she is afraid."



Lanza said he didn't believe the incident would hurt the integrity of the Amber Alert system.



But in Independence, which has about 9,400 residents, neighbor Richard Basham said the girl had embarrassed the town.



"It destroys the trust in a small community. It just deteriorates a small town's integrity," Basham said.

Ouch! =(
09:43 May 03 2006
Times Read: 968

I went to the tanning bed today. They got the timer wrong I think because I was burnt. I had gotten a little too red last week, at 12 minutes, so I thought I had better go to 11 again, this time. While in there today, I was thinking, "I sure have been in here a long time. I sure hope they didn't screw up the time!". I even got out to look at the timer about that time and it had 1 minute remaining, so I thought, "Well, ok I will get back in, maybe my timing was off.". Mistake. I know I had to have been in there about 14. I am really red. Ouch. Fuckers. They were busy and there are teeny bop girls running the show. I am always so paranoid too about this shit happening.



When I first decided to try tanning last year or the year before, I really didn't know how it worked. I was thinking in "laying in sun" time. So when they asked me how long I was going to tan, I asked them how long I could stay in. They said 20 minutes, so I said, "Ok, 20 minutes.". They should have had the sense to tell me not to. I got SO burnt. I was so red, and so miserable, I could not sit, or lay...wear clothes or move without being in extreme pain. I was burning the whole time for a week. It was bad bad bad. I know I had at least 2nd degree burns. All I could do is cry and try to keep stuff on it. But nothing helped completely.



So after that healed, I went back and got back on that horse. I went slowlyyyy...and it has been fine....til now.



Later, after that original incident, I found out that you are supposed to start at 8 minutes in those things. 8. Since then I have been extra careful, going less minutes than I could, actually. Still, I can't help the ignorance of others.



I am sitting here with my aloe vera bottle, applying liberally, and quite often. I can't reach my back!

Home again
09:42 May 03 2006
Times Read: 969

Back from mom's. I was away for about a week and then went to mom's for several days. Back Monday night, but was tired! We had to drive my brother back to OKC and so driving time was much longer this trip. Exhausted...



It rained on us practically the entire time. On the way there, we had to drive about 35 to 45 on the interstate, not being able to see past the front end of the car. The rain was just crazy! That was going on the entire ride. The next day we went to my great aunt and uncle's to see them a last time before they move further up into Kansas. It was sad when we were leaving. I have been around them my whole life and though we are different people and different generations, it is a loss.



That next day we were going to go to the cemetery where the Dalton Gang is buried, in Coffeyville, Kansas. It is supposed to be haunted too, so ya-hoo! But the fucking rain came again and hit hard, so no Goonie adventures for us. =(



We took my brother Justin to OKC when we left Monday. We don't normally do that. But he has a suspended license and this time we just did it. Had to go pick him up Friday....etc....Lots of driving this weekend. Danny had to work when we got home.



Going NOWHERE this next weekend.