The Ultimate Vampire Resource and Directory

~Grey Street~
09:31 Jan 31 2005
Times Read: 892

Look at how she listens;

She says nothing of what she thinks.

She just goes stumbling through her memories,

Staring out onto Grey Street.



She thinks, "Hey!

How did I come to this?

I dreamed myself a thousand times around the world

But, I can't get out of this place.".

There's an emptiness inside her;

And she'd do anything to fill it in.

But all the colors mix together to grey...

And breaks her heart.



How she wishes it was different

She prays to God most every night.

And though she swears he doesn't listen,

There's still a hope in her he might.

She said, "I pray!

Ah, but they fall on deaf ears

Am supposed to take it on myself

to get out of this place?"



Oh, there's a loneliness inside her,

And she'd do anything to fill it in.

And though its red blood bleeding from her now,

It feels like cold, blue ice in her heart.

And all the colors mix together to grey...

And breaks her heart.



There's a stranger speaks outside her door.

Says, "Take what you can from your dreams.

Make them as real as anything.

Oh, it'd take the work out of the courage"

But, she says, "Please!

There's a crazy man that's creepin' outside my door,

I live on the corner of Grey Street

And the end of the world".



And there's an emptiness inside her,

And she'd do anything to fill it in.

And though it's red blood bleeding from her now;

It's more like cold, blue ice in her heart.

She feels like kicking all out the windows,

and setting fire to this life.



She could, change everything about her,

Using colors, bold and bright

But all the colors mix together to grey.

And it breaks her heart:

Oh, it breaks her heart;

To grey....

And it breaks her heart...

note to self
16:14 Jan 28 2005
Times Read: 897

I am the thing that darkness fears.

~For Cadence~
05:38 Jan 27 2005
Times Read: 909

She can do anything at all

Have anything she pleases

The power to change what she thinks is wrong

What could she want with me?





Wait just one minute here

I can see that she's trying to read me

Suddenly I know





She's going to change the world.

But she can't change me.

No she can't change me.





She has the daylight at her command.

She gives the night its dreams.

She can uncover your darkest fear;

And make you forget you feel it.





Wait just one minute more

I can see that she's trying to free me...

Suddenly I know.





She's going to change the world;

but she can't change me.





Suddenly I can see everything that's wrong, with me...yeah.

But what can I do?

I'm the only thing I really have... at all.





But wait just one minute here:

I can see that she's trying to need me;

Suddenly I know...





She's going to change the world;

But she can't change me....

No she can't, change, me.

~At the moment...~
09:57 Jan 25 2005
Times Read: 922

I am currently reading, Buddhist Acts of Compassion. It is a small book, though teeming with beautiful insights. I should get another copy and send it to my friend. It is a most excellent book and he would appreciate it.



It is my hamster, Tibbs', 1st birthday today. Need to get a pic of her in a birthday crown. Ha...



I want an icee. Now, please.



So I chatted in the conservatory for a short time, tonight. Met two friendly people. =)



Every once in awhile I will...hmm, "go retrieve" a song or two that somebody mentions on here. I did tonight. Tonight's selection was, Mindless Self Indulgence (Anybody I know?), "Blind". Hmm...I think I like their other, "Bed of Roses" tad more. Maybe I can relate. ?



At this moment, I'm moving to Gwen Stefani's new one, "Rich Girl". Hold, the bass demands a drop in my ass. Teehee....I'm not all pop. I'm a delightful mix of delicacies. Yes, I would say that is me. HA...For example, Pantera's "Walk" is a dandy. Or, Lords Of Acid, Most Wonderful Girl". Ooo, I think that is next on my Winamp. Hold...Next we have Neil Diamond. He rocks, really. His lyrics are poetry, much like Sarah Mclachlan and Dave Mathews. And they are deep, full of meaning; alot from past life feelings, experiences. I like my horizons.......broad. Can't forget Marilyn Manson...ahhh...I love "Tainted Love". The video raises my temperature several degrees. The song alone puts me in a whole other frame of mind...takes me away...splash of darkness, hint of the perverse, and a big dab of sensuality. I'm yours...

~Cowboys and Angels~
09:29 Jan 25 2005
Times Read: 929

When your heart’s in someone else’s hands...

Monkey see and monkey do;

their wish is your command.

You’re not to blame;

Everyone’s the same.



All you do is love and love is all you do.

I should know by now, the way I fought for you.

You’re not to blame;

everyone’s the same.



I know you think that you’re safe, Mister.

Harmless deception,

that keeps love at bay.

It’s the ones who resist, that we most want to kiss, wouldn’t you say?



Cowboys and angels

They all have the time for you

Why should I imagine

That I’d be a find for you

Why should I imagine

That I’d have something to say



But that scar on your face

That beautiful face of yours

In your heart there’s a trace

Of someone...before



When your heart’s in someone else’s plans

Thing you say and things you do

They don’t understand

It’s such a shame

Always ends the same



You can call it love but I don’t think it’s true

You should know by now

I’m not the boy for you

You’re not to blame

Always ends the same



I know you think that you’re safe

Sister

Harmless affection

That keeps things away

It’s the ones who persist for the sake of a kiss

Who will...pay



Cowboys and angels

They all take a shine to you

Why should I imagine

That I was designed for you

Why should I believe...

That you would stay.



That scar on your face-

That beautiful face of yours.

Don't you think that I know,

they've hurt you...before.

....sign your name across my heart
04:31 Jan 25 2005
Times Read: 932

"....all alone with you, makes the butterflies in me arise. slowly we make love, and the earth rotates, to our dictates.....slowly we make love..."

~I Want To Make The World Turn Around~
03:47 Jan 25 2005
Times Read: 935

I don't want to live in a world of darkness

I want to live in a world of light

I don't want to live in a world that's heartless

I want to live in a world of sight

Well you know, I want to make the world turn around



Living in a world of justice

Living in a world of shame

Living in a world of freedom

Living in a world of pain

Well you know, I want to make the world turn around



Turn the darkness into light

Turn the hunger into life

Turn the wrong into right

Put an end to the strife

Turn the blindness into sight

Save a human life

Make the world turn around



I want to live in a world of gladness

I want to know what your heart is made of

Don't want to live in a world of sadness

I want to live in a world of love

Well you know, I want to make the world turn around



Living in a world of justice

Living in a world of light

Living in a world of freedom

Living in a world of sight



I want to send a message

To every boy and girl

I want to send a message

About the world

We got to build it up

Stop tearing it down

We got to build it up

Make the world turn around

~Silence~
03:36 Jan 25 2005
Times Read: 939

Give me release

Witness me

I am outside

Give me peace



Heaven holds a sense of wonder

and I wanted to believe

that I'd get caught up

when the rage in me subsides



In this white wave

I am sinking

in this silence

in this white wave

in this silence

I believe



Passion chokes the flower

'til she cries no more

possessing all the beauty

hungry still for more



Heaven holds a sense of wonder...



I can't help this longing

comfort me

I can't hold it all in

if you won't let me



Heaven holds a sense of wonder...



In this white wave

I am sinking

in this silence

in this white wave

in this silence

I believe



I have seen you

in this white wave

you are silent

you are breathing

in this white wave

I am free

~Insignificant ramblings and eclectic vibes~
10:54 Jan 19 2005
Times Read: 960

January 19th, Wednesday (early wed.! 4:30am), 2005-



First entry in my insignificant observations, events....



I've been checking everyone out, for the last few hours. I believe I am spent. ha...she said spent.....



capitalization takes way too much of my time and energy. its back to lower case...



despite my many hours of entertaining myself through click, click, type, type, im still here. im listening to talk talk, "time its time". the colour of spring is one of my favs, the whole cd. it was a tape when i first heard it. ;)



ive talked to a few friends tonight. some lovely people. howdy do to you. there are a few holes, though, that are still black. mia. where is the darkness?



really im just putting random thoughts on here. gawd, i have so many.....can you say ADD? ha...i dont know for sure if i have that, but my dr. said that he thought i did, and that intelligent people have it. therefore, i must....;)



i am going to have to have an icee. and dear lord, baby jesus, let it be soon, as i have to go soon....buffy is on shortly.



its so quiet right now....tune ended....nobody here. that will change soon. in the meantime, i am going to have to break this silence with another. i decided to get that infamously ridiculous song, "rico suave". i just wanted to hear it, ok? but after one listen, its as irritating as sir richard marx. haha...."cause it dont mean nuthen". RIP-richard marx career.



moon goes into gemini tomorrow, 4:24pm, central time. that will be cool. i like it in my own sign. fun times....ah......



ever see aqua teen hunger force? oh god.....so funny......am i writing a letter?

just random thoughts...float on...



rrrrrrrrrrico........................ssssssssuaveeee....HA!excuse me, i must dance.



im getting ready to try squid uno momento. i love trying exotic things like that. had eel last year. i dont put just anything in my mouth though...



wow, at 2:08 minutes into rico, there is an awesome bass line. great to move the money maker to. so nice, i had to groove it twice. i am a slave to the bass. no matter the music.



now its 50 cent, shake that ass girl.....i am... i am...



hmm, its dark in here now...

~One thought of the day~
04:03 Jan 15 2005
Times Read: 976

"Those who mind, don't matter. Those that matter don't mind."

~It's A Sin~
05:41 Jan 14 2005
Times Read: 981

When I look back upon my life

It's always with a sense of shame

I've always been the one to blame

For everything I long to do

No matter when or where or who

Has one thing in common, too

It's a, it's a, it's a, it's a sin

It's a sin



Everything I've ever done

Everything I ever do

Every place I've ever been

Everywhere I'm going to

It's a sin



At school they taught me how to be

So pure in thought, in word and deed

They didn't quite succeed

For everything I long to do

No matter when or where or who

Has one thing in common, too

It's a, it's a, it's a, it's a sin....

It's a sin



Everything I've ever done

Everything I ever do

Every place I've ever been

Everywhere I'm going to

It's a sin



Father, forgive me, I tried not to do it

Turned over a new leaf, then tore right through it

Whatever you taught me, I didn't believe it

Father, you fought me, 'cause I didn't care

And I still don't understand



So I look back upon my life

Forever with a sense of shame

I've always been the one to blame

For everything I long to do

No matter when or where or who

Has one thing in common, too

It's a, it's a, it's a, it's a sin

It's a sin



Everything I've ever done

Everything I ever do

Every place I've ever been

Everywhere I'm going to - it's a sin



It's a, it's a, it's a, it's a sin

It's a, it's a, it's a, it's a sin







(Confiteor Deo omnipotenti vobis fratres,

quia peccavi nimis cogitatione,

verbo, opere et omissione, mea culpa, mea culpa,

mea maxima culpa)



(Translate:

"I confess to almighty God,

and to you my brothers,

that I have sinned exceedingly

in thought, word, act and omission,

through my fault, through my fault,

through my most grievous fault")

~I Love You~
05:31 Jan 14 2005
Times Read: 983

I have a smile

stretched from ear to ear

to see you walking down the road



we meet at the lights

I stare for a while

the world around disappears



just you and me

on this island of hope

a breath between us could be miles



let me surround you

my sea to your shore

let me be the calm you seek



oh and every time I'm close to you

there's too much I can't say

and you just walk away



and I forgot

to tell you

I love you

and the night's

too long

and cold here

without you

I grieve in my condition

for I cannot find the strength to say I need you so



oh and every time I'm close to you

there's too much I can't say

and you just walk away



and I forgot

to tell you

I love you

and the night's

too long

and cold here

without you

~Stupid~
05:30 Jan 14 2005
Times Read: 985

Night lift up the shades

let in the brilliant light of morning

but steady there now

for i am weak and starving for mercy

sleep has left me alone

to carry the weight of unravelling where we went wrong

it's all i can do to hang on

to keep me from falling

into old familiar shoes







how stupid could i be

a simpleton could see

that you're no good for me

but you're the only one i see



love has made me a fool

it set me on fire and watched as i floundered

unable to speak

except to cry out and wait for your answer

but you come around in your time

speaking of fabulous places

create an oasis

dries up as soon as you're gone

you leave me here burning

in this desert without you







everything changes

everything falls apart

can't stop to feel myself losing control

but deep in my senses i know

~Halo~
05:27 Jan 14 2005
Times Read: 988

You wear guilt

Like shackles on your feet

Like a halo in reverse

I can feel

The discomfort in your seat

And in your head it's worse

There's a pain

A famine in your heart

An aching to be free

Can't you see



All love's luxuries

Are here for you and me

And when our worlds

They fall apart

When the walls come tumbling in

Though we may deserve it

It will be worth it



But your chains

Your lips of tragedy

And fall into my arms

And when our worlds

They fall apart

When the walls come tumbling in

Though we may deserve it

It will be worth it

~Emotional Rescue~
04:02 Jan 14 2005
Times Read: 990




Is there nothing I can say

Nothing I can do

To change your mind

I'm so in love with you

You're too deep in

You can't get out

You're just a poor girl in a rich man's house

Yeah, baby, I'm crying over you



Don't you know promises were never made to keep?

Just like the night, dissolve in sleep

I'll be your savior, steadfast and true

I'll come to your emotional rescue

I'll come to your emotional rescue



Yeah, the other night, crying

Crying baby, yeah I'm crying

Yeah I'm like a child baby

I'm like a child baby

Child yeah, I'm like a child, like a child

Like a child



You think you're one of a special breed

You think that you're his pet pekinese

I'll be your savior, steadfast and true

I'll come to your emotional rescue

I'll come to your emotional rescue



I was dreaming last night

Last night I was dreaming

How you'd be mine, but I was crying

Like a child, yeah, I was crying

Crying like a child

You will be mine, mine, mine, mine, mine, all mine

You could be mine, could be mine

Be mine, all mine



I come to you, so silent in the night

So stealthy, so animal quiet

I'll be your savior, steadfast and true

I'll come to your emotional rescue

I'll come to your emotional rescue



Yeah, you should be mine, mine, whew

mm...Yes, you could be mine

Tonight and every night

I would be your knight in shining armour

Coming to your emotional rescue

You will be mine, you will be mine, all mine

You will be mine, you will be mine, all mine

I will be your knight in shining armour

Riding across the desert with a fine arab charger

~Paint it Black~
03:57 Jan 14 2005
Times Read: 993

I see a red door and I want it painted black

No colors anymore I want them to turn black

I see the girls walk by dressed in their summer clothes

I have to turn my head until my darkness goes



I see a line of cars and they're all painted black

With flowers and my love both never to come back

I see people turn their heads and quickly look away

Like a new born baby it just happens ev'ry day



I look inside myself and see my heart is black

I see my red door and it has been painted black

Maybe then I'll fade away and not have to face the facts

It's not easy facin' up when your whole world is black



No more will my green sea go turn a deeper blue

I could not foresee this thing happening to you



If I look hard enough into the settin' sun

My love will laugh with me before the mornin' comes



I see a red door and I want it painted black

No colors anymore I want them to turn black

I see the girls walk by dressed in their summer clothes

I have to turn my head until my darkness goes







I wanna see it painted, painted black

Black as night, black as coal

I wanna see the sun blotted out from the sky

I wanna see it painted, painted, painted, painted black

~Possession~
10:49 Jan 13 2005
Times Read: 1,002

Possession



Listen as the wind blows from across the great divide

voices trapped in yearning, memories trapped in time

the night is my companion, and solitude my guide

would I spend forever here and not be satisfied?

and I would be the one

to hold you down

kiss you so hard

I'll take your breath away

and after, I'd wipe away the tears

just close your eyes dear

Through this world I've stumbled

so many times betrayed

trying to find an honest word to find

the truth enslaved

oh you speak to me in riddles

and you speak to me in rhymes

my body aches to breathe your breath

your words keep me alive

And I would be the one

to hold you down

kiss you so hard

I'll take your breath away

and after, I'd wipe away the tears

just close your eyes dear

Into this night I wander

it's morning that I dread

another day of knowing of

the path I fear to tread

oh into the sea of waking dreams

I follow without pride

nothing stands between us here

and I won't be denied

and I would be the one

to hold you down

kiss you so hard

I'll take your breath away

and after, I'd wipe away the tears

just close your eyes...

Did you bring me a monkey?
03:17 Jan 13 2005
Times Read: 1,009

im sitting in my usual spot, in front of my beloved electronic friend. im listening to, "your woman", by white town. ive been listening to ava adore quite a bit tonight. seems it has a strange spell on me for some reason. song is over...next.....now its, "the promise", by when in rome. i should be a dj. instead im a shadow. ha...

my music takes me back to times that are gone. forever, unfortunately. if i ever disappear, check the 80s for me. there i shall be, exploring my gift of my ability to retrace steps. "im sorry but im thinking of the right words to say. i know they dont sound the way i planned them to be....". how is it, that we meet some people and we can walk away, its ok, its a mutual separation. then, one day, rather unexpectedly, we practically stumble upon a lost soulmate. how can that happen so suddenly? course, then we have the job of decerning which kind we are dealing with. it all feels like hot, fucking burning, rapture. "baby, oo, i get so high, when im around you baby. i can touch the sky...you make my temperature rise...you're making me high....baby....baby...". its toni braxton now.



well, keeping one's cool in all of this stuff of the left and right ventricle, is a job, let me tell you. hahaha...



but who would see the beauty in these heart wrenching affections? how could they? it has to stay inside....so, come inside me. and there, i will share the flavor of my love with your darkness. i shall provoke a response and i will be pleased.