The Ultimate Vampire Resource and Directory

My life is like a soap opera sometimes. I _HATE_ it. I'm modifying everyone's name in this so they have some privacy, though this is pretty fucking big. Alright, so here is my friend Bob, he dates my friend Sally, gropes me without my permission, and then breaks up with Sally because of it. This really hurts Sally. Soon he hooks up with another one of my friends, Betty. Then, tonight, he hosts a Halloween party and I go to it with my girlfriend. Soon he disappears with my other friend, Debby. They're gone for around 10 minutes, so I go looking for them. I find them in the basement. Let's just say Debby is doing something private to Bob that he shouldn't be allowing, but he does. But when I confront Bob later when he comes up, he doesn't think he's done anything wrong. FOR GOD SAKE! You ALLOWED it, it's not like Debby FORCED herself on you! Worse of all, you're dating my good friend Betty, too! So I'm REALLY angry right now, and FAR from a good mood. I think it's pretty easy to see why.

Ivy: I was looking up bad vampire movies, and one is about Camerilla coming back to life and being a lesbain vampire.

Brother: So... basically she'd rather be gay then dead?

Ivy: ...Now I can just imagine Dracula comming up to Mina Murray with his arm around Johnathan Parker's waist, telling her he'd rather have her husband.

If it wasn't for us being pre-programmed to love children, we'd dispose of them. They're greedy, malicious, smelly little beasts.

Just because you can snort pixiesticks doesn't mean you should snort poprocks. :(

A child turns into an angry teen, catches on fire, and then becomes an robotic samurai. The end. :)