The Ultimate Vampire Resource and Directory

"Too many centuries I lived in secret, until now. I decided to bring with me the truth of a generation into the light of a world that was never capable of dealing with the forces of darkness. A generation that was not born and that will not die, this is the generation that created me, out of nothing. One that exists only in hell and sometimes walks the Earth, in the shadows, hidden from the mortals’ eyes. The generation of blood, witchcraft and curse. The story of my life. I am Katerina. I am a walking curse…

Many wrote about those of my kind, the vampires, the walking dead, the demons, but few saw us and even fewer understood what happens behind closed coffins. The pain and the solitude that we are obligated to drag with us for centuries sometimes with no end. The hate and the love, both combined in a morbid but beautiful body. A body that is a reflection of evil, a gate of hell on Earth and with a matter that is very different from the one you are all made of. I laughed, along the years, at the unrealistic image that vampires have in the eyes of mortals. I even find it amusing that we have an image at all. I struggled to understand how and most important why, victims would want to praise their executioner in such a way. I found out that the only way to introduce vampires to the audience is to make them look sexy, attractive and inviting. The only truth people can accept is the one they are able to live with. Took me centuries to decide whether to write or not about the ugly truth and bury the beautiful one. Death doesn’t have an angel face, and that, my dear readers, are you about to discover if you dare to join me in the crazy ride of the vampires truth story.

As a vampire, I wonder how all these humans pass through life without being afraid of death. Afraid of becoming nothing or something completely different to their nature, that nature which fulfills their existence as humans. It is to me, terrifying and so hard to conceive that I used to find myself crying at night in the most dramatic way, at only the thought that one day, I will not be part of this whole thing we commonly call “world”. My biggest fear came true and I cherish life now, more than I ever did before, when I had one. Even those with strong faith, directed to a god or a demon, should be afraid of such a sudden ending to a form of existence that might also be the only form. Even those who believe in the immortality of their souls…souls that are so different without a hosting body, without material senses and feelings. Without matter at all, a soul is something so abstract, that can be hard to accept and prefer to a human existence. I know the grass is always greener on the other side, but I wish people would think twice before they cherish that other side more than the one that was already given to them by a generous entity that they can only imagine and hope to meet one day. Or not.

Especially at night, when the world is sleeping. All of it, in all its forms. When I am awake, scared, abused by my own ghosts, trying desperately to discover a shade of light in the deepest form of darkness that I ever knew, then is when I panic. I freeze along with my thoughts, the ones that don’t let my heart rest in peace, not even now, when I am nothing but a monster. I don’t like this description at all but it is probably the most realistic one. As a monster, I am not human, but I am not the divine form that human souls embrace after death, or they hope they do. I pass by each one of you every evening, unnoticed, unseen, unfelt by anybody. I observe you, learn to be like you again, like that could even be possible! I am a bystander of a world that rejected me as much as I would have loved to be part of it like I used to be. I am afraid of you more than you are of me. I know you exist; but you will never be sure I do too. However, if you would believe a little more in monsters like me, you wouldn’t hesitate to ruin us. To apply all the legends that guided you along the centuries in matters of destroying a vampire and, if possible, their entire species. I guess that makes sense, you’d destroy us before we get the chance to destroy you, like we even need such a chance. Isn’t it how it works with everything you don’t understand? Even with ghosts, the most innocent form of the spiritual world! As soon as a house is supposed to be haunted by any entity out of your world, you call all your religious army to exorcise it, to clean all the other forms of existence out of it, all of those that are not same as you: human. Demons are condemned with no right to defend themselves, in the name of a God you believe in so strongly, so blindly but so radically that everything that contradicts it must vanish. And that makes sense again. Ironically. It’s a form of fear and, at the level of fear, I can really understand you. Happy are those who don’t know much, or anything at all! Those who can’t understand and don’t even try to understand beyond their daily life concerns, as minimalist as they are. Happy those who have the capacity, in their simplicity, to accept other forms of existence without questioning their right to exist. To embrace the presence of a spiritual entity inhabiting the same air with them. Because those people are in touch with something greater than their own fear, with the truth. Those are the people who make it in a world that can, at any time, become a living hell. "

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