About a week ago a dent that appeared in the hood of my car... I have ranted and raved and mumbled about kid skin seat covers and a small person skull hood ornament and so on. You know the sort of "grind their bones to make my bread stuff" etc. Today there was a horde of children outside and I've been casually asking this kid and that if they know anything about the dent have they been climbing on my car etc. With the exception of the little girl who I don't think talks at all. It was suggested to me that it was this one boy in the building next door. I herded them all up and made them sit on my front porch and we discussed this dent problem as a group. The youngest was 8 I think and 13ish. I finally got the REAL story. Nobody was climbing or standing on the car. The unanimously named 13 year old boy was leaning against the side and the boy had his hands to the sides and a little back of himself leaning on them and the hood buckled. They were shooting the breeze. They were not dicking around it just happened. *shrugs* We then discussed "yard rules" No kicking balls against the side of my apartment because there's a window and windows are expensive. Pick up your trash, no rocks in the grass blah blah blah and so on. Oh I also told them not to bounce anything off the fence of the guy who lives behind me because he's mean. (Watered that down for the little kids.) As a group we talked about how everybody needs bike helmets and one little girl piped up wanting to know if she really needed one because she doesn't have a bike here. Se explained that her parents are divorced and she spends the weekends at her dad's and her step mom is really nice. I joked with her that stepmothers are always supposed to be evil and to tell her step mom she is "doing it wrong" and we all laughed. I also excused her from needing to have one unless she roller-skated or got a bike for here. A brother and sister are adopted by their bio grandma after parental rights were cut by the courts they joked that their mom was now their sister. The dent boy's sister is going to Vegas for a month in a couple weeks. I asked the boy if he was going as well and he asked me why. Looking at him you would never guess they have different dads. I haven't seen their mom but going on looks they are unmistakably siblings. I had also asked him why his little sister was going after asking her and not getting an answer and even asked him if she was getting married. They all howled laughing at that. He explained she was going to see her grandparents and commented that he didn't have a dad. I had all the kids disperse from my meeting except for the dent master. I made him sit and stay there. He was afraid but damned if he was going to show it. Then I said gently "You know we're gonna have to tell your mom right?"
He stared a thousand miles away at nothing and after a bit said in a hollow tone, "She'll never let me out again." He was trying to be tough about it but I could feel him and see tears growing. Fear being overtaken by hopelessness...
I asked him what he meant and he just shook his head. "Do you mean for a couple weeks like being grounded? A month? The rest of summer?" He looked at me and tears began to spill and I got the first look at the real kid hiding inside this boy.
"Ever till I'm 18 and I'm out for good."
Then we talked. I asked him about his dad when we were alone and he said his dad had gone to jail and then prison for trying to kill his cousin. He wasn't bragging or telling a sob story he was being real with me. He'd given up on guessing at telling me what I wanted to hear. I let him talk and I listened to him. I don't think he gets that at all. Then I cut him a deal. We still have to fix the dent but he is going to help me keep the rules this summer. I also plan to introduce myself to his mom so he may come inside and play video games or watch movies with the kids and just be a kid not having to worry on things like being screamed at shamed about anything or hit. I'll probably make him wash my dog just for good measure.
COMMENTS
-