The Ultimate Vampire Resource and Directory

I hate wedding crap. I have decided I hate brides as well. I think the whole printing deadline thing should go both ways. Yes I told you 5 months before he even proposed I'd do your programs. I explained I needed all the info and stuff a month ahead of the "W" day... 5 days before hand? I pulled it off. Yay me. *pats self on back* You call less than 12 hours before I have to leave to drive cross country wanting to make a change?! Shop for fresh flowers, rose buds no less, in four different colours and expect them to be "buds" for your bouquet in three and a half days. (Not to mention unblemished from the ride in the car.) Did I mention I hate shopping too? Give me a thong to wear and stab me in the head. NOW!

So I have a burn on my knee. It is bigger than a quarter and an open blister... I was asked if it hurts. My questioner pointing at my knee.



"If you touch it I will punch you in the junk."



Manslation: Yes. A lot.



(DUH!)

After some practice and much stretching and so on I tried to do this:



Several days later this:



Still hurt and it made me:



So I went to the doctor-



and was ridiculed by a child.



BUT then...



and let me tell you that after a couple days its is NOT:



and makes me kind of: