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Intoxicates's Journal


Intoxicates's Journal

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2 entries this month

 

I Love You

23:55 Mar 20 2013
Times Read: 371


I Love You

I can't deny it,

I love you

Even if I say I don't

Saying I hate you.

Never wanting to see you again

I don't mean any of it.

Not one bit...

I love you , I've always loved you.

I know I may come off as I don't love you or care.

But....

It's only because this is the scariest thing ever!

I'm so scared that I will just crash and burn if I just let go

And yet..

Part of me doesn't care

Not one bit!

Part of me wants to just let it all go

If I get it hurt then so be it

Just so I can say I loved him

And it was the best thing ever.

The tears and all, it was worth it

The good and the not so good.

Every cuddle, kiss and hug all worth it.

Just to say I loved you

And wouldn't have it any other way.


COMMENTS

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Perfect

23:52 Mar 20 2013
Times Read: 372




She stays up all night,

With tears falling from her eyes.

Holding that cold razor

Thinking all those things people have said her.

"You aren't good enough"

"You'll never be skinny enough"

"You are an ugly worthless piece of crap"

"The world would be better if you weren't in it"

"No body cares about you"

All those words they tell her day after day.

Every single one of them she believes

She tries to stop thinking about all those words those stupid people have said.

But,

She can't.

She puts the cold razor to her arm,

With her bloodshot eyes from crying all night long.

She promised herself she wouldn't do this anymore but,

She just can't stop it.

It makes her hate herself even more.

With one deep slash down the wrist she says:

"Am I good enough now?"

"Am I everything you said I wasn't now?"

As she falls to the floor her arm red from all the blood.

Her mother bangs on her door yelling

"Honey are you okay?"

Not hearing a sound she kicks down the door and runs over to her daughter.

With tears falling from her eyes she holds her,

Trying to stop the blood from coming out.

She yells "Honey please wake up please".

She opens her eyes slowly,

Weak from all the blood lost.

And just said:

"Am I perfect now mommy?"

With one last breath closes her eyes

And fades away.

COMMENTS

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