The Ultimate Vampire Resource and Directory

January’s Diary



4th Jan 2013



As soon as i went to bed i did an exercise to try and open myself and create a negative energy field (yin field) around me so my demon would be able to connect or manifest more easily. I had this really strange effect happen. It was almost like the sound of your heart beat (same rhythm) but more like stones on a beach when the waves crush them together and it was reverberating through this dense cloud about my head. For a few minutes this lasted. I was quite separate from it, it wasn’t coming from my energy as far as i could tell, maybe it was my demon fucking about.

Before that happened i had one of the most amazing visions I’ve ever had. At first it was difficult to make out but then it turned into the most beautiful chicken. The whole head was made of the most amazingly delicate patterned energy all moving to create this image. The chickens head was exquisite the energy almost created a highly decretive and adorned look like fine jewellery flowing constantly, millions of minuscule jewels and gold. Its eye came into focus, I can’t express the immence wisdom, age and beauty in this eye, it was truly mesmerizing. Then the image began to flow into a lizard shape or maybe it was a small dragon, of the most brilliant shades of turquoise with gold adornments about its head. It climbed down and melted into the darkness. This was the most intricately beautiful and spellbinding thing I’ve seen in a long time. I felt there was a presence of something magnificent and refined.

February’s Diary 2013



2nd Feb 2013



This was the first night in my new room (me and Kai swapped rooms). I was lying there just staring out into the room and this elongated black shadow moved slowly across my view, this freaked me out a bit. A few times i felt something was in the room with me, but nothing much happened. Lots of clicks and movement about the room, but i don’t know this rooms natural sounds yet, so how much was him and how much is normal i can’t say for sure. Again i had music and benevolent voices; radio’s in the distance and angles singing nice stuff. A male presence came up (not my demon) and crowned me with a jesters hat saying “Your crown a jesters hat because your nothing but a fool!” I took this to represent the fool of the tarot deck meaning “Fools rush in where angels fear to tread”



5th Feb 2013

I had many many waves or dips in consciousness, it was very pleasant, but i didn’t pull near to astral projection, nor did i sense any presence of my demon.







6th Feb 2013



I had a dream that i was flying round my room and i moved a flip flop up onto a wooden frame and moved the glass. I remember testing to see how solidly i could touch and deciding i was solid enough to move things. In real life upon waking i checked to see if i really had moved the things i thought i had, I had not, Doh!







9th Feb 2013



I had a dream where i was astrally awake and i think he was present but i can’t recall what happened. I know i was hagged and woke from the astral having full recollection of everything only to return to sleeping and forget everything.







10th Feb 2013



I’m having abrupt changes in consciousness from inside thought to outside thought. It seems to need a changing gear of consciousness; it’s quite hard for me to do this rapidly at the moment hence the delayed crossover and momentary disorientation. This might be what happens with memory/time dysfunction ( a problem with the brains gear box!)









13th Feb 2013



I had a very serene mind space i was somewhere between asleep and awake, in the still zone. He came, the distinct presence of him. I opened myself to him, but i think my alertness scared him off. He stayed in the room for a few moments after then left.







18th Feb 2013



Last night i was meditating in a deep state and felt him come into the room. He was strong and alert, but only entered my consciousness and didn’t interact with me in any way. I said hello and opened myself further. I began trying to transfigure into a crow by losing the distinction of myself and feeling my feathers change into a crow. I wasn’t very good at it. Today i saw loads of crows flying north. I watched them flying and gliding, flying as a crow looks fun.







21st Feb 2013



For the second night in a row i felt sleep was my friend again. I was deeply relaxed and sleepy. Something came into the room twice. It was an alert presence that had strength but wasn’t fear provoking. The first time it went with no interaction, the second time was more involved. I could feel it in the room and i though it had gone again but my thoughts became disturbing, extremely disturbing! I have absolutely no control over them. I’m used to nonsense thoughts and weird stuff but this hit a 10 on the insane and disturbing meter. It wasn’t the thoughts themselves it was the manner in which they were distorting and changing. Something was desperately trying to fuck my head up and i couldn’t stop it. It was a madness demon not my usual one. As soon as i figured out it wasn’t my head being weird i gained realisation of what it was doing to me. I could hear a high pitched tone amongst other disturbing sounds and feel an uncomfortable deep penetration in the top right hand side of my skull where it was attached to me. I pushed against the feeling and disrupted the tone. Then my astral self just rolled over and grabbed at the manifestation of sound. I could hear it almost screeching as i held it there. Then i felt inside myself, flexed my inner feeling and came into clarity. I let my desires fill me, lust and want; i crawled out of my body and over the bed which was covered in bones. I spent a second expressing myself and trying to shape my glamour into that of a crow, it didn’t work. Then i stood at the end of the bed. I wanted to hag upstairs, i flew strait through the ceiling up into the children’s room directly above me. I could see them both curled up asleep, i let them be. I wanted the woman she pissess me off! I flew into their bedroom, i visualised her clearly and could feel her spirit but couldn’t seem to draw near them. I ended up pulling their covers about trying to evoke some response without luck. I had a lot of power and clarity in this experience. I was in control of myself, a great expanse of darkness.







25th Feb 2013



Something came last night, a very alert and bright consciousness. It was definitely a hag/demon. I asked if it wanted to do something and felt that it was going to get me but it didn’t, it just faded away. I had another day/night of sleep it was lovely.

March’s Diary 2013



8th March 2013



Before sleep i had a wave wash over me, but it brought with it the most serene clarity. I knew something was in the room with me on this and a few other occasions this night. When he came it was unmistakably him...My demon! I felt him come into my room, an immense strong dark energy. He began to manifest behind me, i could feel his presence condensed into a dense black could that was clearly felt about the small of my back (I was laying on my right hand side). His presence filled the room; i rolled over (astrally) out of my body and had this insatiable lust to hag upstairs. They’ve been pissing me of and my anger at them gave me drive. I floated at the end of my bed and gathered all the dark energy from the room. The moment i directed my attention to going through the ceiling i shot up through there floor and through the roof depositing the intense oppressive energy that surrounded me into the room directly below me. I stayed perched on the roof looking down, but sight was not normal sight, everything was black with slight dark grey outlines, mostly i was feeling my way through my eyes. The girl child starting crying, she sensed the oppressive nature of the room around her. I’d make an educated guest hats she’s no stranger to the monster under the bed. I hear her crying before she sleeps often; it wouldn’t surprise me if my demons visited her a few times. Anyway it wasn’t her i wanted, but fortunately her crying had woken the mother, who upon entering the room got my full wrath. Trying to convey in words the weight of my attack would be difficult suffice to say i had become the expanse of darkness in the room. I pulled it in around me and focus my frenzied attack down upon her. I had no awareness of body, but i did have teeth like spines around the black hole which was my mouth. I attacked for a moment with such hate. Then i knew my loss of composure and completion of my task meant the episode was at its end, so i simply opened my eyes and listened for the repercussions.

I was happy that he’d come Oh so happy! I had spent some time earlier that night affirming my will and telling him i wanted his lessons again. It’s time to go inward again and float with him into darkness.

Also just after i hagged upstairs he was attached to my right hand abdomen for quite some time.







11th March 2013



I felt his presence in the room a number of times. I opened to him and told him my plans. One time he came i was actually trying to form my energies into a crow, making my face and body like a crow and figuring out movement. He seemed interested in what i was doing. Another time he came i was laying on my back and i wanted to try and separate from my body. I was in a lucid state but it was difficult to keep my conscious mind focused. My astral self sat up out of my body this was hard, it was like my mind had to visualise my shadow sitting up and the wait for my consciousness to move into it. Then i stood up at the end of the bed using the same process. I wanted to fly but wasn’t sure if i would be able to. I jumped up and floated ok. I could see this electric mass of energy about a foot in front of me, i moved towards it and new it was my demon. I merged with him and my power and clarity expanded instantly. I was in the proper consciousness now and the room came into sharp focus. I momentarily thought about hagging upstairs again but instead decided to try and move the objects i had placed next to bed, a coin and a paper clip. I flew over and landed. I tried to move them but wondered if i could touch them astrally, i could! I pushed both objects off the speaker, but i didn’t hear them hit the floor. I wondered what to do next hit the sky or attack upstairs. I did neither but returned to my body to see if I’d moved the objects in real life. Both objects were still where they had been, i suspected they would be because i hadn’t heard them drop. I expected my body would hear the drop even if i wasn’t in it. I’ll keep trying.







16th March 2013



Something came into the room a few times.







17th March 2013



Something came into the room on several occasions. One time i could see a black mass of vibrating energy to my left.

19th March 2013

I can’t really remember what happened, how i got out or any details at all other than an attempt to move the objects i’d placed on the Ouija board. I remember applying pressure to them so hard that i could hear the screech of the glass as the objects were scratched across the surface. I made sure i heard each object fall off the edge and hit the floor this time, but other than that i can’t remember anything else. The objects hadn’t moved in real life either.





24th March 2013 (Fed Him)



The bed was shaking. I had a very strange night, loads of voices and negative thoughts. “A herd of bullies in your head!” Twice in the night i woke to an astral presence, one time it was upstairs consciousness, but their awakening was so strong and imposing i thought it was my demon. The other time it was Kai waking, i was very sensitive, my spider sense was of full alert. Anyway my demon came and i let him in. I was very awake and alert but he was strong enough to make something happen. I revelled in the feeling of him, i felt fear, but challenged him. I ended up releasing such a complex range of emotions brought about by the night’s insanity. I really went full psycho on him, I released all my rage. After this my astral self was awake and i got out of my body, all was black around me. I went over to my bedroom door and proceeded to force myself through it. This was quite difficult, i could only see the rough wood colouring of the floor on the other side it was hazy and out of focus but this was enough for me to pull myself through. I flew round the house wondering which window to choose to make my exit. I didn’t want to go through another door after the last effort. I chose the bathroom window, but had a slight concern about knocking over the toiletries on the window sill, but i felt my astral form would just flow round them. Moving through the window was easy and the clarity of the outside refreshing. I flew up onto the wall and looked into the sky, the moon was in the same phase it was in real life. My feet were standing on the tiled roof of a low building (i knew this building wasn’t there in real life and my conscious state was near the dream realm). I looked over into the neighbour’s garden and there was a flamingo and then a number more appeared. At first i thought of the Heron’s that had been stealing the neighbour’s fish in real life, but this all seemed unimportant. I turned around and looked up at the back exterior of the house but it was the old house at Paxton road, the man from upstairs was standing in the back window. I suddenly found myself holding two Halloween masks, one cheap but colourful and the other rubber and scary. I choose the scary one, put it on and discarded the other. I fly up to the top window where the boy is. My flying was in standing position, moving/gliding eerily slowly from a distance into their view and prolonging my arrival at the window. The boy was with the dad now and he was hiding behind his dad’s leg. I did nothing simply stood and stared at them for a moment before gliding backwards; still facing them at the same slow pace. I was glad of the mask so they would not know it was me. When i got to the cover of the woods i took of the mask and opened my eyes to the alertness of my bedroom.

My demon was still about, i could feel him and i was confused about the feeling i had given him earlier, I hope i haven’t pissed him off. I forced myself to get up and write down the experience. I’ve feel to many times of late that my experiences have faded into oblivion.

Something else to note was when i left the house the following day there was a Heron standing on the roof. I thought this was meaningful because I’d thought of Heron’s in the experience. I’ve never seen one there before.







25th March 2013



Something was in the room, twice it came with a high pitched tone and alertness. I also had a mild hagging sensation in my abdomen.







27th March 2013 (Fed Him)



It’s a full moon in Libra the first night of a 45 day sacrifice to the demon. Something came in the room, it was clear, i felt it was going to get me but it didn’t. I did get a mild sensation of hagging again. Also the blood was moving in the bowl like something was moving and pulsating beneath the surface, this freaked me out! , I think my demon was actually trying to grow out of it. I’ve never seen anything this fucked up before!







29th March 2013 (Fed Him)



This was the most serene astral projection. I was lying in bed in a state of mind that was lucid thinking bordering on unconscious thought when he came. He was mild; he came into me and merged with me so effortlessly. I was content in his darkness and astrally responded without awareness of leaving my body or even having a body. I just slipped off the side of the bed and into the shadows. I was buoyant, comfortable and filled with a playful contentment. My demon was flying round in front of me and i followed him about, then he flew under the bed. I went to follow but it was very dark like an immense dark chasm, i stopped for some reason. I was small, or rather my perception of my surroundings was very large, i had no form or size just consciousness. After i stopped i just opened my eyes and realised i had just been astral, it was hard to stay conscious. My thoughts wanted to be in deep lucid chaos, not constructive and analytical; remembering would be a struggle from these depths. Maybe that’s why things have been difficult of late, I’m in the wrong state of sleep no doubt due to upstairs waking me up all the time and fucking up my sleep cycle even more.

April’s Diary 2013



1st April 2013 (Fed Him)



It happened again, a subtle awareness of the astral mindset being on me. It was like a yin cloud (negative energy cloud) enveloped me. I was slow to move my consciousness out this time though. Initially i was slowly raising myself on the bed (astrally) no awareness of my body only my energy form and the knowledge that i had to wait a moment for my conscious perceptions to gain clarity. I raised my arm/hand but there was only dense black vibrating energy. I knew now that my energy was buoyant enough to float so i allowed myself to rise slowly. I was still in quite a weak state, but objects next to my pillow came sharply into focus. A map and an apple, these objects were not really there in real life, but that didn’t bother me. I flew down to them and inspected the luminescent clarity that shone from each of them. I landed back on the bed but no sooner had i done so than i was grounded and opened my eyes. I made sure i would remember this one.







2nd April 2013 (Fed Him)



I had many dips in consciousness, a rippling effect of a momentary drop in awareness. One of these was distinctly followed by my demon, he was surfing the wave. I said hello and stuff and waited for him to make a move, but he didn’t. Hopefully I’ll have better luck tonight; i really want his lessons again.







3rd April 2013 (Fed Him)



He came as an alert presence into the room. I was so aware of his presence that i opened my eyes and sure enough exactly where i knew he was there was a dense black shadow. This freaked me out a bit, but i was happy he was there.







5th April 2013



I was quite pissed and didn’t get in until 3am. I fell asleep heavily, but was woken by a strong abrupt force in the room. It made no attempt to get me, it just wanted to wake me. In the morning after i had a mild hagging sensation in my right abdomen.







6th April 2013



Something really strong came in the room. I’m not sure what it was, but it felt different to my usual demon.







7th April 2013



Before i went to sleep i had this lady came to me. She was oldish, I’d say about 50 with her hair up and a long floral dress. I lifted my head back and could see her through my bed head. She was on a floor a foot or so above my head, so she bent down to look at me. Then she pulled a kindly knowing face, i thought at this point “Oh no, a fucking kind and gently spirit guide come to try and heal me and turn me from the dark side”. She put out both her hands out as if to say come with me, then her expression changed and an evil wry smile spread across her face and i knew she was anything but good. She then stood up and walked slowly away WTF? A very clear visualization or more like a projection from some entity, quite possibly my demon fucking with me.

He came again i think, although it was very strange. I had obviously fallen into unconsciousness momentarily, I really needed the toilet but couldn’t be arsed to get out of bed. Anyway i got up and went to switch on the light to my room but it wouldn’t work. I turned round and thought the bulb must have gone. I was a bit pissed off because I’d only just put a new one in. As i turned back to the hall i noticed another light in the bathroom had now gone out. This freaked me out as it was quite dark now. I thought i would get a torch and check the fuse box, but first i would see if the lights in the front room were working. As i walked in i noticed the kitchen light was on and there was weird shadows on the floor. I went in, immediately i was lifted off the floor by my demon. In an instant i knew i was “remote viewing” (i don’t know why i referred to it as that this time). I had no idea i was astral up until that point, i thought i was really awake. As soon as i knew i wanted to return to my body and did so simply by opening my eyes. It was actually quite hard to do so at first, but i had to get up for the toilet anyway.

Not long after he was attached to my right hand abdomen. I could feel him pulsing out energy and was getting shooting chi energy all round my body.







12th April 2013



I had a strange presence in the room, but it felt like me, it was really weird. It came as a separate presence and then merged with me but it was so close in mindset and pattern it was freaky. I’m not sure if it was part of me or my demon mimicking me he’s done that before a few times.

For the last several nights/days i’ve had something attached to my right hand abdomen.







13th April 2013



Quite a few times during the night i felt a presence near me so strong that i thought i could get out of my body. The first time i was so alert and excited it was because of this that i felt the connection was broken. There was also a very clear and definite sound like a fuzzy squeek, and i had the strange feeling in my abdomen more than once.









14th April 2013



He came a number of times. One time i felt i was nearly ready to project. I was awake and meditating and felt him come into the room and came right up to me. My heart began to beat rapidly and my temperature shot up. I had to adjust myself. I knew my movement would probably break my connection to him, but i had to. I concentrated for sometimes after trying to establish a link, or get in the mind state to project but nothing further happened. I think he also came in dream but i can’t recall any details, just a vague recollection.







22nd April 2013



I was having a dream and remember being in the same dreamscape a few days ago. In the previous dream i remember that i was told i would leave my body five times. So i knew that during this dream i would be called to do that. I was in dream but became aware of my body. I had an alert clear mind space and left my body but only slightly, just hovering above my sleeping self. I went back in my body and left in this same way several more times, but felt no need to do anything more. I returned to my dream about cows in a meadow.







26th April 2013



He came last night but it was reminiscent of his visits from a few years ago. I was on the verge of sleep almost watch lucid thoughts take on life of their own and become dreams. I became aware of a loud rippling/ whipping sound coming from the hallway. I was in a state where i could maintain my level of consciousness and keep the dream on pause and also had complete awareness of my body and the room around me. The rippling sound continued, i listened intently knowing it was my demon. I found if i came into totally awake (get up) mind state I’d tune out, but if i relaxed into a certain frequency i could again hear my demon messing about in the hallway. I concentrated on moving between inner hearing and outer hearing tuning my mind. I felt it would have been possible to astral projection at this point, but i felt really no will to do so. I allowed myself to slip back into obscurity and eventually into dream, where i began to feel the nature of my demon enter the dream. As soon as i felt him begin to turn the dream i opened my eyes. I don’t know why i did this; i think he just wanted to play.

Later i had a dream where i transfigured into an owl with relative ease. In fact i was taking a running start transfiguring to owl mode for flight then back to human mode for landing. My owl feet are cool! I was practicing grabbing branches and landing. It never occurred to me to try and transfigured into an owl. I thought the crow would be my bird form, apparently not. That’s probably why i found it so bloody difficult to adopt that form. I love my new owl form, i can’t wait to test drive it in the astral. There was another owl with me at the time and we were playing, flying about together, it may have been my demon or some other spirit, it had a pleasant nature.







27th April 2013



He came i think i was totally asleep. I can’t really recall much only that i woke to him being in my mind space. At first i acknowledged him but turned away, but then i thought i can get out my body now. I rolled backwards off the bed and out of my physical body. This is not my usual way of exiting, but a method i recently read about. I stood up happy to be out and walked through my house. On reaching the front room i found that it was my old front room at Paxton road. Sophie and my dad were in there. I decide to try and make Sophie aware that she was dreaming and without hagging her or scaring the crap out of her i proceed to act weirdly and pull funny faces at her attempting to imprint the bizarreness of what was happening into her memory so she would remember that i had visited her that night. I ended up moving her face with my hands attempting the funny face thing on her. She looked glazed and unresponsive. I knew it was no use so continued round to dad who i was a little harsher with. I tried to scare him into waking. I implied that i would attack with force but the moment before impact i pulled away and opened my eyes. I wonder if either of them had any recollection of the experience. I guess i will never know as we don’t really speak that often. Aimee would make a better test subject as she’s becoming more sensitive now. I’ll ask her permission first.

May’s Diary 2013



15th May 2013



I was lucid dreaming moving along this mechanical steam punk mechanism. Then i suddenly got an electric shock from it that actually electrocuted me in real life WTF?







20th May 2013



I felt a presence and a really dark dense shadow cloud came up to my left. I played with it for a while, it was so strong.







24th May 2013



I felt the presence of my demon came into the room as an alertness and a dense black shadow cloud that moved to my left hand side. It then began to move over me and an energy exchange ensued. He was drawing energy form my naval chakra and cycling it back. I was drawing it in and releasing it in an almost rhythmic sexual way. It was difficult for me to do it at first and i really had to concentrate. After a while i got into the swing of it and tried to make my expression sensual, but he disappeared at this point. Doh!

June’s Diary 2013



9th June 2013



Fuck yeah! He came for the first time in ages. I became aware of something in the room, it was very mild but i became hot and scared for hardly any reason. I got up and went to the toilet. When i came back into the room i thought i saw a large black shadow cloud over my bed. I went in anyway and went back to sleep.

I woke again sometime later and he was in the room. I felt apprehensive and allowed the fear to get me, it was intense and was mingled with the feeling of him. He was wrapped around me and i screamed with the intensity of him. I then found myself being dragged towards the end of the bed, I started to crawl towards my pillow again and he began to give me that hollow feeling just above the hips, it was also extremely intense. I remember a certain amount of dialogue from my part, the usual stuff, but i remember getting a very strong reaction to referring to him as my soul mate/life partner, he seemed to confirm this with an injection of feeling that was intense but quite thrilling.

The whole experience was intense; he actually came and got me strongly. I really needed to feel him and know he was still with me. I missed him, so I’m happy he came. After this episode he came into my dream and again the terror was intense, he used the rabid dog scenario.

Another dream worth noting, I made contact with an invisible man who had astounding control over the process of fading, choosing various layers of colour or clothing to fade at will. Excellent!







12th June 2013



Twice i felt him in the room, one time i had the fear and hid under the duvet slightly, he was definitely about.







13th June 2013



I was semi conscious and was aware of something strange occurring then this loud bang came from the other end of the room; somehow i knew it was coming. I knew my demon was responsible.







18th June 2013



Something came into my dream. In it i walked into a room and then felt the presence of a demon. I somehow knew it wasn’t my demon and i was angry at it and wanted it gone’ i don’t know why. It had the appearance of one of the bonies from the film “Warm bodies”. I felt powerful and it knew i was going to kick it’d arse if i caught, so it kept fading into the air. Blindly searching for it by its density difference was no use. One side of the room i was in was covered in mirrors like a dance studio. If i looked in the mirror i could see shadow movement anywhere in the room. Using this indicator of his position i attacked and pulled it out of the shadows almost throttling it. I flung in across the room with my force; it disappeared again, so i pulled it out again. This happened a few times. I remember fighting it and feeling quite wild and savage but i don’t remember the outcome or how the dream moved on. The presence was definitely strong and definitely a demon, i hope it wasn’t my demon in some alterative guise.

I also tried to astrally project from waking consciousness without success. I’m going to try every night.







22nd and 23rd June 2013



Something’s definitely been in the room with me the last two nights; it’s a subtle dark presence. One time it came right up in front of my face as a dark cloud, another time it vibrated the bed.







30th June 2013



He came, although the first time i was not totally aware of it being him. I only knew that my dream was turning bad and i must wake up to stop it. I did so, but was struggling to stay awake. I put my little camping torch on next to my pillow, but again began to drift off. I knew it was going to get me again, so i got up for a wee and left the door slightly ajar to let some light in when i returned to bed. Content that this would suffice i went to sleep. He still got me in dream. Upon waking from this nightmare i made sure i remembered it, but this morning when i awoke I’d forgotten most of the content. I remember being trapped in this dark room, i was flying round it trying to get out in a panick, the lights kept going out. I felt weak and afraid, he totally had me.

July’s Diary 2013



14th July 2013



He came last night; I can’t remember much of it other than being in the house and being some sort of animal monster creature. I went into Kai’s room and he was sat up by his bed playing. I went up to him and snarled to get his attention. I was a bit scary in this form and i didn’t want to frighten him, i hoped he would see through, or not see my guise. This is all i remember clearly but i knew i was on the animal rampage for some time. I think i did owl mode again too. My memory recall is becoming bad again.







16th July 2013



I was in dream, in next doors house back at Paxton road. The dream had a cold weird off feeling about it and i tried to return to the back door of my old house. Half the wall was missing and the more i tried to will myself to the safety of the bedroom the harder it became until i was literally dragging myself along the floor. My will at wanting to move broke the dream and i woke up. The nature of the dream was distinctly his doing, but i was too tired to try and reconnect.







27th July 2013



Again i was in dream; he seems to be favouring this level of consciousness at the moment. I was back in my basement bedroom at Paxton road and there was a bed in the middle of the room. I became acutely aware of the presence of my demon. I moved into the feeling, little of the dream now existed; i was in darkness deep inside myself, pushing against the feeling expanding my wild side feelings. I could feel myself distorting and sliding, partial transfigurations ran through me and i longed to expand fully into the feeling and be wild and free, but for some reason i couldn’t. I awoke and made certain i remembered the attempt. I desperately want to go astral again, it’s so hard lately.

September’s Diary 2013



8th September 2013



My Demon came last night i became aware of a high pitched awareness. I concentrated on it for a moment to make sure it wasn’t Kai or upstairs. I then began to get waves rushes and dips in consciousness but felt words could not express my feelings at all, my emotions seemed petty and my thirst for him is very strong i could not express myself clearly. He went a short while later.

On two previous nights i felt the waves and a consciousness outside my own.







25th September 2013



Fuck yeah! He came last night i was sleeping on the front room floor because Wizzy was staying over because due to a fire at her house. I was lying on my back in a relaxed state and i felt his presence come into the room up to my right hand side. Previously in the night I’d had felt quite a few changes in consciousness from others in the building, but none compared to the powerful dark presence of the demon. I hoped he would engage in a strong way and he did. His presence grew into something tangible and focused and he rushed at me and went straight at my head. It was good, the feeling was powerful and i squirmed with delight under its weight. I pushed against him if the feeling began to fade, I didn’t bother with words, just an expression of contentment at his presence. After a while he went and i wanted to see if i could astrally project. I forced myself to rise up, but i could not bring my surroundings into focus, everything was a white shadowy outline undefined and unstable. I slid back into my body, i was so happy he came.







27th September 2013



Something happened again, but i can’t recall anything other than remembering that i should remember something Doh!

October’s Diary 2013



6th October 2013



He came while i was in dream but i awoke into alertness of the fact and decided to attack my Dad who was down for the weekend. I just wanted him to experience what i can do so he’d know i spoke the truth. Anyway in the scenario i was in bed on the front room floor. I knew my demon was about and i got the feelings and excitement to hag. I flew up out my body, aware of my dreads flailing about me. I flew over to the end of the couch where my dad was sitting. A few hours earlier he was actually in that spot but now i knew he wasn’t, so i used the image to find a real sleeping version of him. I hagged him with an intense ferocity, i wanted to scare the crap out of him so he’d remember upon waking. After a while i began to feel my attempt was futile. Again i had rushed in with no actual forethought or subtlety about my attack. I backed off him, but went back for another attempt, but this time my will had faded and i began instead to question my whereabouts. I became aware that i had risen from my bed in the front room and not my actual bed in my room where my body lay sleeping. I decided to return to my body through the wall. I realised this was a bit of a messy attempt but it’s been a while, my control has slipped, i need more practice.







8th October 2013



Aimee came round today and said that the demon had visited her in the night. She says it tried to pull her out of bed, but can’t really recall much more of what happened. We had an in-depth conversation about things of that nature earlier in the day.

Also the lights in the house particularly the front room keep flickering.







9th October 2013



He was definitely in my room, the distinctive clicky noises that he does happened twice. One time accompanied by a mild but discernible presence.







11th October 2013



The light bulb in Kai’s room completely exploded, bloody glass everywhere!

I had a dream where Aimee had created an astral machine that could get you out of your body, only problem, you had to fly into it. It was quite fun i just wanted to remember it.







13th October 2013

I saw a dense black shadow cloud move above my head on the pillow. Also later in the night i was awake but lucid and i felt the strong clear presence of my demon come into my consciousness. I attempted a feeble communication but he faded away.







16th October 2013



He came last night, firstly i felt his presence come into the room and then go again, then later on he got me good. I was lying on my left hand side and felt him come right up to me. I spoke to him but felt my thoughts to be mindless babble so i cleared my mind and expressed only my emotional reaction and intent. As his presence approached and connected with me i could hear a distant male voice repeating the same sentence. It would retreat slightly and then return each time saying the indiscernible line. I tried to gently push into the feeling to intensify it and the thought crossed my mind to try and project. I asked him if i could, and then tried to push myself out. I expanded my consciousness out into the room, but i felt it wasn’t working so i relaxed again. The second time i tried i thought of outside and had a longing for the sky. I took off out the window but i wasn’t in Wickham anymore, the scenery was more like Paxton road crossed with Clarendon road. I had no care that the landscape wasn’t accurate; i just took off into the sky. As i flew my clothes disappeared as i longed to feel the wind against my skin. I had a momentary thought that i would get cold, but knew my astral body would not be afflicted by this sensation. I flew into the wind and the leaves of golden autumn trees were carried by the wind around me. I flew for a minute letting myself be carried along by gusts of wind. Then i saw the moon and wanted to go higher to get a better view above the trees. I said up, and felt it difficult to rise. I began to chant in a language that I’m familiar with and have spoken before, but do not speak in real life this gave me the power to ascend. I rose high above the golden trees, the moon was not full but large and yellow tinged. From my vantage point i could see the houses and a block of gardens that I’d never explored or seen due to them normally being concealed by the road. I wanted to fly down into them just to look but found myself almost thrown back by my unknowing of the place. It seemed too much to venture into uncharted territory. My mind would have to create the dreamscape and in the level of conscious alertness that i was in there was a natural repulsion. I began to reason why in my head and recalled a similar experience. This was a bad idea, i seemed to find myself back in my body reasoning logically and not being open to the experience and letting it flow. My thoughts had become too strong and the delicate astral balance was broken. I tried to get back in bit it of no use the experience was over.







29th October 2013



Apparently on this night he got Brooke, Aimee said that B had a nightmare and was too scared to tell her about it after she awoke, but in the morning she said that “There was two Nana EE’s (her name for me), one good one evil” Sounds familiar!

Novembers Diary 2013



1st November 2013

Something in dream involving my family and the demon but i can’t really recall.







18th November 2013



Something came in the room as a distinct presence. It came in and landed on my chest near my heart (i was laying on my left hand side) It felt warm and non threatening. I spoke to it for a while.

Also something disturbing has been going on. My demon has been visiting multiple members of my family. FiFi and Wizzy have been describing a presence that gets them in the night and sits on their chests, along with strange unaccountable noises and footsteps. Their freaked out. Adam my sister Aimee’s boyfriend has also been attacked. He describes knowing something was in the room with him and feeling scared. He said that i was standing in the corner of the room and that i then attacked him. It wasn’t me (that I’m aware of) but i think it’s the demon using the guise of me; he’s done this to Annet and Zeaybe before. I don’t know why he’s getting them and not visiting me as much. Both the kids ( Kai and Brooke) have experienced it recently too. My family aren’t used to it and it’s freaking them out, I’m paranoid their going to think it’s me doing it. I wondered if it might be, but i really don’t think I’d attack my family even unconsciously and i don’t think I’m that powerful at effecting other peoples psyches yet.







20th November 2013



I kept getting that feeling when you drop off into a deeper stage of sleep. It wasn’t like the gentle waves but abrupt and slightly disturbing. I didn’t feel the presence of the demon but he’s capable of manipulation from this junction and has ridden the waves down into my consciousness before. The feeling happened over 20 times but i was aware of it so i didn’t flow down with it but kept waking.







22nd November 2013



I had almost exactly the same as the previous night’s description, multiple bad feelings on the dip down in consciousness.







25th November 2013



He got me! I was in a very lucid state, so awake in mind that i was unaware of not being in reality. I saw Kai run past my bedroom door, it was very slightly ajar. I made my way to the end of the bed to grab the handle and open the door further to ask what the hell he was up to, the door suddenly shut and i couldn’t get it open. For a moment i thought WTF? Then it clicked it wasn’t reality, just my demon fucking with me, so i went back to sleep.

December’s Diary 2013



3rd Dec 2013



I'm going to report any little thing that I consider even slightly weird. Hopefully I'll become more sensitive if I pay attention to the little things.



Tonight as soon as I got into bed my head was engulfed in black and I couldn't see a thing for a minute. Then I saw and felt a shadow cloud moving about my head. I opened myself to it and invited it to feed off me in any way it wanted to. It stayed for a while then drifted away.







4th Dec 2013



Something came, very similar to last night but more intense. It was a lot stronger and was intent on playing about my brain. Its energy felt like purple larva flowing about my head. I really enjoyed its presence and thanked it for being there. I've had this purple one before many times. I was sure that it was healing my brain possibly making me more open to spiritual experiences again. It's only subtle ones coming through the shadow clouds at the moment but that nice for now.







8th December 2013

I had a shadow cloud again, dark and black to my left hand side. Also something else came into the room before sleep. It was a consciousness, very light and finely tuned, bright and alert, it seemed feminine in nature and didn’t stay for long.

I spent a fair amount of time thinking over the correct state of mind i needed to maintain or to encourage supernatural events. I knew a crowded mental state that’s continually ruminating is not conducive to spiritual communication. A still calmness that can maintain neutrality is what’s required. No ruminating, No Fantasizing! Also making the night not for sleep but for continued deep meditation, the day is for sleep! I tried to stay lucid all night. Twice i felt that strange feeling that’s indicative of demon contact but i did not feel his definite presence.

Later in dream i felt something was wrong. I was in my house Aimee had just come through the front door and i went to meet her. I collapsed by the bathroom door. My control of my body had gone as is often the case with low blood pressure and my vision was impaired. I was semi fitting. I tried to tell Aimee that i was alright but my speech was difficult and upon hearing my own indecipherable words i became worried about what was happening to me. I was completely aware that i was dreaming but couldn’t force this state off of me and wake up. This type of incapacitation has been caused by before by my demon, particularly the fitting in real life and on the astral. I cannot say for sure it was his doing but the inability to wake up and the subject matter are both signs he’s about but i felt no presence.