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Holy Goth chicks and emo boys! Everything hurts, why oh why did I decide to push my poor body so hard. I must be insane. Time for a literal natural pain killer... oh crap, I gotta go to work first.



*drags self across the floor to the door*

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sahahria
21:10 Jan 26 2010

Heh time for Epsom salt bath me thinks!

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Once upon a time there was a very, very, naughty journal... and it contained very naughty things... things that no journal should contain...



I bet you wanna know what those thing were, huh? Well I'm not telling, so there. ;-p

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Lolita
05:03 Jan 26 2010

TELL ME lol

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Bones
05:31 Jan 26 2010

Oh yeah? I have chocolate! :p

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PandorasBx
15:10 Jan 26 2010

Tease :P

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Dear Journal,



Well I'm getting my tear fest on watching Extreme Make-over Home edition. Been doing pretty well with keeping my New Years Goals, yea me, I made it past the 18th... that's when they say most people give up. Still want to murder the stupid dog. It chews up everything, but my son adores her... grrrr. School is kicking my ass, work rocks my socks, and i have no personal life, outside of spending time with my son and getting buzzed all by myself. That's all I have to report for now.



Later!

I believe I'm actually allowed to be mad and sad sometimes... or as often as necessary. It makes me neither a bitch nor a whiner, it just makes me... me. Sometimes I forget that I don't have to apologize for who I am, and how my life is.

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PandorasBx
15:11 Jan 26 2010

*Nods*

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So weird... I have never minded being single, in fact I prefer it, and then out of the blue today I find myself wishing for a certain somebody...



and the chocolate, oh the chocolate, I love the chocolate...

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Bones
05:35 Jan 19 2010

It's okay, I think about you too.... And chocolate! :P

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ImageMaker
04:49 Jan 20 2010

LMAO!!!! How on earth did you know I was talking about you Bones? Damn it now the secret is out!

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PandorasBx
15:10 Jan 26 2010

I think the two go hand in hand ;)

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I've been called brave, I've been told I'm resilient, people tend to think I'm tough... It's all a bunch of bullshit. I'm scared, weak, and incredibly fragile. I'm closed off from the world because I don't think I can take another disappointment, or another heart break. I won't survive it. So I'm not brave, tough or resilient... I'm a big chicken shit, who is about to shatter into a million pieces. So please, please stop acting like I'm someone worthy of your awe and respect. I'm a fucking screw up just like the rest of the world.

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DireConsequences
23:50 Jan 14 2010

I've been there a lot myself.



Thank you for the journal comment. I ended up taking one of my anxiety pills. But I'm excited... I got the nerve up to ask a guy (complete stranger) if he played D&D. He didn't. He was German. He lives up New York though and visiting.



I wouldn't have gotten that nerve even a month ago.



I've already found that closing yourself off from the world doesn't help one too much. You always have some kind of influence from it. Plus you miss out on the great things like seeing children playing tag or other games. The little things in life.



That's why I'm trying to go out. No matter what I do in my own home, I can't pretend or fake that aspect of it. I can't recreate dew on the leaves in the morning or the feeling of a snowball melting in my hand.

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IcyRayne
21:04 Feb 01 2010

Actually Cace you very wrong in what you stated about yourself.

Almost a year later I still see it,maybe one day you will as well but until then,rock on in your way.

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They say if you don't love what you're doing, then it's time to do something else. I live my life by that. My family thinks I'm crazy and I my friends think eccentric, a free spirit, maybe even flaky. It's ok though, because I'll always be the one with a great story to tell. Though I have to admit, that sometimes I get annoyed with my own ever changing ways.

Dear Journal,



My toes are cold and my hands hurt. You may not know this but way back in my sketchy past I managed to break just about every bone in both my hands. I had forgotten the mixture of humidity and cold makes my hands ACHE... or maybe I'm just getting old. I wonder if they have yoga for hands, I hate the thought of my hands becoming all knarled and useless.



Again with the stupid people who insist on being assholes just for the sake of being assholes. They make me want to scream and claw their eyeballs out. But I won't since that is exactly what they want, I will just ignore them, and rant about them ceaselessly in my journal. But seriously... MEAN PEOPLE SUCK!!!!!



Back to my chai and toast with honey, nom, nom, nom.



Later journal!

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sahahria
16:10 Jan 10 2010

hmmm yummy chai!



And plain yoga will assist with your hands :) YAY to having to use hands with most poses... but seriously if having aches try Hot yoga or Bikram or Moksha are two respected types of hot yoga that just might assist the winter aces faster.

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Dear Journal,



I'm a sorry neglectful writer, always forgetting... or too lazy to update you and fill you in on me. So here's the latest. I love yoga, love it I say. I don't mean the traditional meditative spiritual type, though one day I wouldn't mind getting into that too, it's the awesome body stretching and aligning series of poses I do every day. They make me feel sooooo much better.



I think anyone who lets their cat get to be 38 lbs should be investigated that can't be good for the little guy... I mean giant guy. So says the owner of a twenty pound cat, but my kitty is a large breed and on a strict diet.



I can't stand people who are assholes just to be assholes. It's their identity, I'm and asshole so there, I will offend you and be rude, just because.



Ok randomness clearly abounds in my scrambled brain, I will leave off for now dear journal. I promise to be a more frequent visitor in the future.



Love,



Me



*makes out with journal*

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PandorasBx
18:02 Jan 09 2010

Hahaha! Now I'm going to go see if my journal will make out with me too ;)

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birra
18:31 Jan 09 2010

Sell the video on EBay?

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Bones
23:33 Jan 09 2010

How about a three way?

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ImageMaker
01:27 Jan 10 2010

o-O OY!!!!

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Still going strong on working towards my New Year's goals. Chalk one up to the cheese factor!

Read, write, draw... errr snap... click... take picture, it just doesn't have the same ring as draw. Oh well. Feel like I'm about to spontaneously combust because of money issues. I have enough to cover my expenses but the problem is it's all out in the money nether world pending deposits that should have been made days ago. It's so darn frustrating I feel like I could just scream... maybe I will.



ARRRRRGGGGGGHHHHH!!!!!!!!!

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PandorasBx
17:24 Jan 04 2010

I feel like screaming daily, can I join you? heh.

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ImageMaker
19:45 Jan 04 2010

of course!!!

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IcyRayne
13:52 Jan 06 2010

Ha,should see what I do to my bank..then you would scream loudly,come to think of it first time in like 4 weeks I haven't overdrawn myself,yet.:)

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Coffee, I want coffee... and donuts! I guess that means I have to go for a run, a fair trade for yummy, yummy donuts though.

Dear Journal,



It is the second day of a new year... I'm not sure why it always seems so anti-climatic. You'd think after thirty-three new years I'd quit expecting the world to be new and different on January 1, both consciously and subconsciously. I say that because consciously, I don't expect it be anything other than another day, but since I'm slightly disappointed every New Year subconsciously I must still be expecting some kind of magic.



It's cold here right now and that's saying something for this northern polar bear type who almost never gets cold. I wanted to kick the year off with a hike, but walked outside shivered and changed my mind.



I'd also planned to take at least one photo and write at least once every day this year... I kind of forgot about that yesterday, lol.



I'm off to a fantstic star, eh journal. Well I'm off to try and redeeem myself for yesterday. A walk, a photo, some laundry and then work.



Later journal!

I have to admit I'm sitting here stumped, wondering just how I should kick off the New Year. I started by going to bed before mid-night, though not by much, and getting a good nights sleep. Now I feel like I need to do something to set the tone for the year.



I wish I had thought to do something cool like going to Disney World like Images. What a great way to start the year. Maybe I'll settle for a hike through the woods and a drive through some of the lights that are still up this evening.

Goodbye '09, where oh where have you gone! There was so much we still had left to do! Hello 2010, I guess it's all up to me and you! Let's see what we can do!