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I am so sick and tired of fighting....Of always portraying the strong fighter who never quits.

Where does it end?

I should not have to worry about losing my child everyday.I should not constantly have to fight.

There is just no sense in that,it gets old quick.

Two years of nothing but fighting for my child and it continues.I would do anything for my daughter but what do I do now that my sanity is gone?

What do I do now that I am out of everything? Am I not a good enough mother to provide infinite strength? Am I a bad mother because I did not provide a better father for her?????

What is all this shit about?It is my gods given right to raise the child that I bore.The child that I nourished in my body and soul,my child that is my everything.

Who the fuck is he using her as a weapon against me?Who the fuck is he acting like the only pourpous his flesh and blood has is to destroy me?

He does not ever once thinks about the consequences that it will have for her.

I am beyond able to put my rage,my anger,my fear,my disappointment,my helplessness and my anxiety into words that anyone could understand.

If I would just be a bit more brave there would be 2 choices:

Fight the eternal war or just lay down and rest for good but I am too much of a coward for both.So what the fuck kind of options do I have left?

What the fuck CAN I do????????

I feel like I cannot provide right for my children because my mind is always gone in fear......What if he takes my child? What then?

My children are my everything,they are what my world revolves around,without them I am nothing.

Fuck this.....I am losing my fucking mind.