I AM SO IN A SWEET MOOD OF DARK DEPRESSION. I AM JUST HERE AND THE ONE I TRUELY DESIRE IS NOT. I AM JUST SO WEAK FOR HER AND HER LOVE. YOU ARE THE SWEETEST POISON FOR THE DEATH OF ME. I CAN SEE SUCH BEAUTIFUL MOMENTS TRAPED IN MY MIND AND IT MAKES ME WONDER IF I CAN DO MORE TO HOLD YOU AND FEEL YOU. ETERNAL DARKNESS IS NICE BUT NOT WITHOUT YOU.
IT IS FRIDAY NIGHT AND FOR SOME REASON MY EMOTIONS ARE ON ONE THING. I SIT HERE IN THE DARK WITH CANDLES BURNING FEELING LIKE THE MANY LITTLE FLAMES WHICH ARE GIVING ME A SWEET AMBIANCE, LISTENING TO MUSIC LOST IN MY MIND. YOU ARE HERE BUT NOT. YOU ARE SO CLOSE BUT SO FAR. I SHOULD BE OUT IN THIS COOL NIGHT WITH MY THOUGHTS AND WANTS. I AM IN A WORLD NOT THE SAME AS THE DAY BEFORE. I AM WANTING TO LOSE MYSELF IN YOUR ARMS BUT I AM ONLY TORTURING MYSELF, SO MUCH EMOTIONS SO LITTLE OUTLET. WHY MUST THE THINGS THAT ARE TRUELY SPECIAL IN LIFE BE SO HARD TO REACH. I AM BUT THE LOST OF THIS AGE AND YOU HAVE FOUND ME AND MADE ME WHOLE AGAIN. WELL TIME TO GET SOME AIR, IN A MINUTE.
I HAVE BEEN SO LOST WITHOUT YOU ALL THESE YEARS. THE TIME APART HAS HURT SO DEEP THAT PAIN IS TOO SOFT A WORD FOR THE DARK FEELINGS THAT HAVE BROUGHT ME TO THE POINT OF GIVING UP. DARKNESS IS COMFORT BUT WITHOUT YOU IT IS NOT A BEAUTIFUL NIGHTMARE AS IT SHOULD BE. I AM HERE IN THE DARKNESS WITH YOU AND NEVER WILL I FEEL AS I DO NOW THAT YOU ARE HERE.
I GOT UP MISSING WHAT I HAVE LOVED. SHE IS SO FAR BUT SO CLOSE AND THE LUST IS EXQUISITE! SHE HAUNTS MY EVERY THOUGHT FOR SHE HAS CAPTURED MY SOUL AND I HAVE GIVEN IN COMPLETELY. MY NIGHT IS SILENT BUT SO IS MY WORLD WITHOUT YOU!
I THOUGHT THAT THERE WAS NO EMOTION LEFT IN ME. MY DARKNESS WAS LONELY AND FADED TILL I FOUND THE SOUL AMONG THIS RAVE OF VAMPIRES, WOLVES, AND OTHER DESIRABLE DARK SOULS THAT MY INNER FIRE HAS BEEN SPARKED! I AM LEAD HERE BY DESTINY TO LET MY DESIRES OF DARKNESS EXPAND. HELL HAS A NEW FLAME THAT BURNS THROUGH MY EXISTANCE AND MY SOUL IS ON FIRE!
I AM NOT HERE BY GODS DESIRE. I AM NOT MEANT TO GO THROUGH PUTRID TRIALS TO PROVE LOYALTIES FOR FEAR OF DAMNATION. I AM HEAR FOR WHAT CHOICES I WANT AND NOT WHAT SOME BOOK SAYS THAT I HAVE TO BE.I AM MY OWN GOD AND CONTROL MY OWN LIFE NOT NEEDING SOMEONE TO LEAN ON. NO ONE HAS COME TO ME IN MY TIMES OF TRAGEDY AND SHOWED ME ANY MIRACLE. I LEAD MY OWN LIFE AND DESTINY NOT SOME LAWS TO BE BOUND TO SO YOU NEVER ACHIEVE ALL THE KNOWLEDGE AND POWER YOU CAN ATTAIN. DAMN I HATE FOR WALKING SLAVES TO BOTHER ME!
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