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It is now 4:11 am EST and I am wide ass awake and very friggin jittery .. AND I CAN'T STAND IT!!! GRRRRRRRRRRR ... I hate when I get like this, at 10:30 I was wiped and ready to head to bed. For some reason lately, well rather since I've been taking a stronger pain killer it makes me jittery in the beginning and then after several hours I start to feel wiped out and find myself trying to drift off no matter where I am. I know there are alot of medicines that do that to people, but this one claims to cause drowsiness ... my body is so fucked up and weird that whenever I take medicines that do that, i tend to get wired instead. Nyquil is great for that when I take it .. yeah some fucking nighttime cold cure ... NOT! That one was just about the worst med for doing that to me ... but this stuff I think tops it ... it's a time released thing that I take every 12 hours, so I end up being wired and semi pain free for about 4 hours, wiped for about 4 hours with the pain building, and then i spend the last 4 hours being miserable in pain and wired. I can't really take the second one sooner because too much in your system makes it harder for a person to breath ... which this I found out effects me highly. Even though I smoke and that's bad enough, the medicine makes it much worse. I have an inhaler for when it's really bad, but I try not to use it much. One things for sure though I have cut back on my smoking most days. Who know's, pretty soon I might finally get "strong enough" to really quit. Ok so ya I know that's a cop out for quitting. But damned if I'm not a T total B-I-T-C-H when I do try to quit. I'm so bad I can't even stand to be around myself when I try to. ... But never the less the digress ... where was I? ... Oh yes, the meds .. the other pain killer that I take for really, really really bad days is Loritabs .. now to hear so many others talk about loritabs, I've had just about everyone tell me in the beginning oh don't take those, they will knock you flat on your ass, and you'll be out for hours .. HA I laugh and scoff at those of you ... Loritabs do help with the pain, but not enough, but they hardly even make me yawn most of the times. But I feel bad when I'm lying in bed and can't fall asleep because I toss and turn and then end up waking up my boyfriend. So it's times like these when I wish I had a sleeping pill, nothing very strong and for every night, just for nights like tonight. It's bad enough that in about 15 minutes I'd be getting up to turn on the coffee pot then laying back down for 45 minutes, then getting up again at 5:30 to make his lunch and wake him up for work. But i'm wide awake and wired and I hate it. sounds odd to even read that myself because I was at one time the regions insomniac of VR ... is it me, the meds or just plain old age that tells my mind that I need more sleep ... hhhmmm??? I wonder, Lordy I hope it's not old age, because if it is, you can all just kill me now LOL Nighty night, err good morning one and all ....

I truly TRULY hate moving ... I've done it about ... uhm lets see ... 30 times in my life time ... and believe it or not 27 of those times started at the age of 19 ... I'm sure there are people out there who have moved more ... ya know people that come form a military family or such ... if I could say that then I guess it wouldn't be too bad, but I can't ... let's just say I'm a wandering type of person I guess ... not all were "planned" moves but most were ... there were a few due to bad roommates, or just because I couldn't afford the place I was anymore, so those pretty much are considered in my book as "planned" moves ... and yes a few times were because I couldn't handle living with my dad anymore ... pathitacly yes I've had to move back in with daddy a few times, but what can ya do when you have little money and it's so damn expensive to rent a place ... there's been only twice that I had to make the "Daddy come rescue me" phone call, the last time being my move from Georgia to Chicago but anyone who's read this can pretty much understand the why's ... and how I came to be living here in NY. But this last move ... while rather sudden it was a "planned" move. From a bitty studio to a 3 bedroom lower level of a house I'd say is moving up in the world >;^} LOL It's a really nice place, and we're sharing it with some friends of ours who are great. Things seem to be looking up more so for us then they did back less thena year ago so in the words of Beast ... KARMA BITCHES!!! (certain people who read this will know what it means and who it's too)



To my friends, I'm sorry I've been so quiet and not here much, I've been dealing with some things and needed to take some time to gather myself. Oh it's all good so there's no need to worry. Believe it or not I'm here more often then you might think, checking up on things so ..... catch me if you can >;^} MMUUWWWAAAHHHAAAA PEACE ... Dami's out ........