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He left this morning for good. But I didnt care i had told him after he had once again alked out and then came back that if he did it again He wouldnt be coming back he'd be gone for good. He did it anyways and I really didnt care I new that was mean. Yes i had cried and yes I feel for Nate but i had, had enough of this ups and down. He said this wasnt solid enough for him and i didnt get it. He new what was going on and it hurt. But i wasnt going to let it get to me i had none from the moment that i fell for him it wasnt going to work he was to much of an ass to care for me and what i wanted in life. And yet i persued him... This next time a man would have to persue me not the other way around. I fought for Nate but he didnt fight back.

So i as down. Finished. I was his shooting star but not I was gone waiting to fall into anothers mans path.

I sat up in bed and whiped the last tear i would EVER let for fall for Nate Perry. He had took all his clothes and even the puppy we had gotten. But i would get a new one the puppy was really Nates dog. But now i was bored and alone in the house no man to cuddle up against at night. It had been a day sence Nate left and I already hated being alone but i asnt going to look. Nate probablt a;ready sleepd with some one but i asnt a slut. I had my bounderys. So i got my phone and called my friend Aaron he picked up on the first ring.

"Hello"he sounded out of breath so i guessed he either A: was having a sex or B: had ran to get the phone

"Hey Aaron its Nikki"

"oh hey darlin what are you up to"

"Nothing me and Nate broke up and I was wondering if you could come over im alone in the house and it feels weird."

"ok be there in an hour baby girl." I smiled Aaron had a thing for calling me baby girl

"ok Aaron see you in a few" we hung up and i took a shower and got dressed by the time i was done there was a nock at the door. I went back down stairs and opend the door. There stood Aaron me and him were the same hight but her was stronge and built. Aaron was also 24 and didnt care that i was 16 at all.

"Hey"I said as i smiled

"hello baby girl.""i looked dowwn and saw he had bags with him

"What are in those"

"Stuff to cheer you up." I giggled then and helped him with her bags and shut the door and we went up to my room sat the bags down. And then we huged he heeld me and smelt my hair.

"new shampoo?" he asked as e pulled away i nodded "yes its mangoo and strawberrys"

"It smells fantastic"

"thank you." We layed on my bed and talked as weun packed the bags he brought. There was candy every kind amaginable, chips, soda, water, and my favorite movies. I smiled and saw he brought a bag for over night i went over and unpacked it. for him where Nate's stuff would have been. I turned and asked "dow you minf=d staying for a couple days?"

"nope i dont mind i dont have work at all for 2 weeks so im all yours."I smiled and went over and kissed his cheek. "Thank you."

"Its my pleasure baby girl." when ever he usually called me baby girl i'd call him daddy he would chuckle. He had fanasies about daughter and daddy doing stuff but never acted on it he didnt have children. He wasnt even married but when he did his ife would play baby girl and i new he'd fuck her. I smiled a bit thinking about it. Me and aaron had had sex once when i as 14 and he was 23 he had been my first and had taken it slow. Nate never wanted sex from me. so i hadnt had sex sence Aaron i remeberd every moved he had maid. So i replied to him

"Well thank you any ways daddy." he chuckled. he smiled and so did i for the rest of the night we watched movies over and over again

I layed there for a few hours I couldn't sleep. I just layed there and every once in a while I'd smell his old shirt. It smelled like him and his colon and sigurets. mmmmmm. But finally I got up because my tummy was grawling, his shirt covered untile my thighs so it looked like a dress. I headed down stairs and into the kitchen and got a glass of milk and some cookies. Iheaded to the living room and i heard the fermilare jingling of keys and a little puppy bark. I just stooked there frosen as the door opend and there was Nate with our little puppy who was happy to see me. He put the puppy down and staired into my eyes. I stood there waiting for him to make the first move the first sound. But he didnt so I did.

"Hi..." He sisnt answer right away.

"Hello..."I put my cookies and milk on the table and picked upthe puppy that wanted in my arms so bad. But my eyes never left Nate's. He continued. "I've been thinking..." He closed the door behind him and took his shoes off and his coat.

"About?"

"You and I" I was shocked but pleased at the same time.

"And?"

"I need to think more before I make a dission."

I looked down then and said. "I didnt mean to hurt you."

"but you have apparently missed the big picture... notice that if i were still extremely upset i wouldnt be talking to you."

"Ok well I'll give you time. I want to make this work. So if you want to make it work to you know where I am."

"Dearest... if knew how to make everything better and how to make all this work out wi would have done it by now... Im trying to understand the feelings within but i do not. Maybe i should embrace them like i embrace the darkness of my soul, with open arms. maybe i should cherish this for what it is..."

"and what is that? your confuseing me again..... plz dont call me dearest" tears up "it hurts to much."

"Fine then i shall refer to you only as your name, What this is is two people seemingly alone in their worlds and their worlds collided. We complement eachother and take away each others sorrows, i dont know what to call it beyond that yet... but i like it that way for now. in time who knows... by the way dont start drinking and toking just to try to make me like you more, you were fine before and even without those things in your life you are still an " object " of my affection.'

"but im not the "object" of your affection now... You need to diside on your feelings fast. I dont have much of me to give left... I told you i wanted to be with you but you say no...

I stoped drinking the smoking will take time..." We just stood here talking and stairing into each others eyes.

" My mind is not easily made up, i must go for now i have to go to work. ill talk to you again soon." lightly kisses my cheek and whispers " things will change for the better love." feels tears weel up in my eyes backs away (thinks:i could have and still could give him my everything.. I hate me) "just go..." looks away ashamed that i ruined everything. He looked at me a bit shocked. He picked up the phone and called in sick to work.

"I did that so we can talk. And You didnt mess it up I did, im so weary about everything these days itts just because of everything ive been going through. Im sorry for putting you through this. My life hasnt been easy the last two years and im afraid of trusting in other people. Its not just you, it couldve been any girl that i know and could have somthing special with. But you are on my mind more than any other person."

"your almost always on my mind and thats never happend to me... I want to work us out... I understand about the not trusting and everything... As I've told you Every guy I've dated has cheated or lied and i dont mean to bring that into a relationship i have now but its there. I also have trust issues because of the times i was almost." I looked down then and didnt day the word I new he knew whast I was talking about. "I'm scared it'll happen again. I know you wouldnt but its there i cant make it go away. You havent put me through anything i didnt want to be in... If i didnt want to be with you do you think i still be here talking to you... Or do you think I would have moved on.. ( I thought: i would have moved on) But I havent thats because i care and want to make this work.. (I thought: god how many times do i have to say it to him to get it through) My life hasnt been easy the last two years. I havent told you that past of mine." ( Thinks: i hope one day i will and it'll be use on a coutch cuddled up with me drinking coco and you coffee under a blaket with a puppy infront of a fire place with the lghts out and snow falling out side) smiles a bit a meaningful smile not my mask.. You understand your the one that can bring that out in me... puts my hand on Nate's cheek and kisses him "i wanted to atleast have one more kiss if things dont work out the way i hope." my hand slowly falls felt pain because you aren't mine.

"one more kiss before i tell you the same thing give time, i cant answer all the questions right now, i have other things to worry about now, but hear this, i do care about you right now this is the only way i have to communicate with you. but i will be back on track with my life soon, all i need is time..."

nods a bit. But looks away "take all the time you need." I put the puppy down and crossed my arms. "I'll be here if you need me." I walked to the guest room givinghim our old room. Shuts door quick and lets a tear role. "i shouldnt have kissed him.." slids down the door brings my knees to my chest mumbles " i should hate him but i dont.."



later comes out in a tank top and night shorts. goes over to the kitchen and gets a glass of tea. goes back to the living room and sees Nate. "umm i just wanted you to know that" takes a deep breath knows this is going to kill me to say doesnt want you to but knows i cant stop you. "its fine with me if you sleep with other girls and watch porn." doesnt want you to but just walks away before you answer knows it might be like "hell ya im going to you arent my chick" or "why wouldnt i you arent my chick and you sertently wont fuck me" leave my door open and lays on my bed whispers to self. "good job your voice didnt crack you didnt break down. good girl"

He shouts. "Dont worry about any of that stuff anyway, im not gettin any for a while nor do i have anyone in mind for that. I miss talking to you every night... I want you back in my arms at night sleeping with me.. holding you pillow is so cold and lifeless, But holding you is so worm and inviting."

I got up then and went back to the living room and sat next to him. "I know what you mean" Whispers "I cant sleep any more i dont feel safe." I had sat as far away as I could on the coutch knowing if i cat close I'd just crawl into his arms. He smirked then and pulled me on his lap. He was worm just like I remebed and i cuddled in against my better jugment. I soon cam to my sences and got up. "I cant not till your mine." I walked up stairs and He followed. I walked into our room and he soon came in and shut the door i was facing the bed and I soon felt his stronge arms around me. He turned me and kissed me I kissed back fast. I felt him pick me up and lay me on the bed he got on top of me as always and kissed me more. I couldnt stop use. My head was telling me to stop but my heart was telling me to push forward and let anything that happend happen. We kissed more and soon His shirt came off I felt his stumic and chest and soon mine was off. He started kissing down my body and I didnt stop him. I couldnt I just moaned softly as he did. He pulled the shorts off leaving me in a thong and a bra. I didnt mind though. I pulled him up and undid his pants. We knew we were both going to hell but we needed to feel we needed to touch. Soon he was just in his bocers and we were both breathing heavy and fast. He looked inro my eyes and smiled and kissed me more. He lay on the bed on the pillows and I crawled up to him and lays my head on his chest as he wrapped his arms around me.

"He's a deal and here me out before you say no." He said playing with my hair. I nodded and lissened to his heart beat."You can call me yours and i can call you mine but you cant call me your boyfriend till your eight teen. Now the sec this lets say this." He whisperd into my ear."I'm only going to be having sex with me myself and I." He chuckled and i giggled.

"Deal"I looked up at him."But that all changes when I turn eight teen right."He nodded and we layed there. giggled and talked. I was happy again. And couldnt wait to see what happended next.

I sat there for a while as Renana Staired at me, I wonderd if I could get the words out. Finally I just started. I felt like I needed to get it out I didnt know both sides of the story BUT I knew my side.

"He called me before he went to work."I took a sip of coffee. "He had stayed at a friends house the night before and i missed him. So he called..." I looked off into the forest in Renana's back yard as I talked Thinking back



*FLASH BACK*



Phone rings. I pick it up and look at the caller ID. Sees it's him and picks up fast.

"Hey Baby"

"Hello Love" He said in that voice that always maid me want him with me.

"How are you doing."

"Ok. Missing you."

"I miss you to." We both said it in a sad voice.



*END OFF FLASH BACK*



I was still drinking coffee "We talked for about fourty minutes.. Some how we got on the topic of shoes and He asked how meany I had. I told him a lot and he said he could always tell hoe high maitness a girl is by how meany shoes a girls owns.." i looked down then. "You remeber What Sukhi used to say."



*FLASH BACK A MONTH EARLYER*



"You high maitness Slut." Slaps me, I fall to the ground crying and holding my cheek.



*END OF FLASH BACK*



I snaped out of the flash back with tears in my eyes. "When Nate said those words it hit me hard and I almost had a panic attack so I hung up. He hates when people hang up on him. He got maid and didnt call back." I look at Renana she took my hand and smiled as tear feel a bit she always HATED Sukhi.

"What happend next?"She asked softly

"I gave my phone the Mark. Sarah's boyfriend they were over and i went up stairs. They started txting Him and his friend making it worse. about 20 to 30 minutes later and went and got my phone. I read there messages back and forth and saw it was getting really out of hand. So i texted his friend and siad i was sorry for there behavor and that i was going to put my phone in a clock box that me and Nate bought and go for a run. They said to be carful. And I said I maid no promised."Whipes a tear away "At that moment if some one came up to me and killed me i might have let them. I just wanted to crawl into a corner and cry. But I went for a run anyways and thought. When I came back Nate wasnt home so i txted his friend again trying to make things right between me and him. He took the phone and said He was sorry and that me and him were over. I tried to plead with him."Tears role over my mask and i break. "He said his judge ment was final and one other word. Go-Goodbye."My voice breaks. "I dropped my phone and then txted his friend and told them what happend and they tried to plead with him ." looks away"It was know use. I dropped my phone and ran to my room and cried I told his friend i was going for a run but i lied i went to my his and mine room. I crawled into our old bed and cried."Renana whipes my tears away and kisses my cheek.

"You dont have to go on for now take a break I'll go make cookies."She said I nodded. She left and I turned on my phone I had tired it off after i picked it up not even looking at it. I went in my messages and saw there were more then i remebered sending. I read them and saw that it was my so called friends had sent Nate's friends more txts. Renana came back out and i hadded her the phone. She got mad and me and he got up and got ready. We were pissed i got dressed and called a few friends and we left to see Sarah and them. I Walked in and saw Sarah right away she smiled not knowing that i knew EVERYTHING they said. She stood up and walked kind of up to me I pushed her to the wall HARD. "YOU BITCH"

"OWW what i do"Sge acted dum.

I was ready for a fight and I wanted to rip her head off "You maid this all worse."I showed her the txts. She smirked then She spat at me and i slaped her. Ya I had been a mans punching bag before But in a girl on girl fight I held my owen. I hated to fight But fighting for some one I cared for was more then worth the slip up. She Knew I knew what she really was. Some one that just wanted me to fall on my face and cry. Renana pulled me away. But I fought to get to Sarah. Sarah punshed me then and I lost it I Punshed her to the ground and kicked her once. "DONT YOU EVER TOUCH ME." I walked away still pist off. But I wasnt going to kick her ass she wasnt worth my time or effort. We went back to Renana's house i cleaned up i had That bitches blood on me and I asnt going to keep it on me. I soon wanted my bed so bad. I asked Renana to take me home. She said "ok" and she took me home. I huged her hen i got to the door and told her "Go home I need to be alone for a while." She left and I went up stairs to mine and Nate's old room i saw none of his clothes but an old t - Shirt of his i put nothing but that on. and layed in bed.



*FLASH BACK*



Nate walks in and and grabed a bag he started to pack hi clothes. I looked up with tears in my eyes got to the endge of our bed

"It wasnt my fault" I cried as he packed his bags.

after he was finished he turned and looked at me.

"goodbye." he walked out she didnt know if she'd ever see him again

All she knew was she lost some one she carred for because of friends that she'd never seen this side from.. She called her BEST Friend to come and get her to take her away.



*END OF FLASH BACK*

I lay there Heartbroken once again. Just wants to be in his arms kissing and smiling like we used to

She woke up from a long night of fighting and yelling with her parents. She had cried herself to sleep and when she woke she hered the screaming down stairs she wanted to get away from it all. She didnt even go down stairs she just got up and went to the minny frige she had boat for just these ocations got her self some juice and a apple and the got on he laptop. She looked at her facebook and didnt see anything interesting, she did the same with her myspace but nothing...

She had looked on all her favorite sites and there was nothing that caught her eye today. so she logged off and picked up her new favorite book. Vampire Academy it was a series and she was fasinated by it. She really didnt beleave in Vampires but still she was fasinated.Soon after she had finished the forst book in the Vampire

Academy series and it was lunch time she got up and noticed she was still in her Pj's she just shruged. She really didnt care and she went to the fridge got her self a sandwitch she had maid the day before and ate it. as she ate her head started to think "hat if Vampires are real" Her head was realing and she got on her lap top and searched Vampires. A web site poped up. She clicked in and started to read





This site is for Vampires only The Covens and Houses of our world You may enter If you are human But just kno be open minded or we will kick you out no questions asked.



She was intreged even more so she signed up. She was excepted and she fixed up her page she maid sure to say she was human but open minded now. She looked through the web site more and found that there was a night club down in the cittie she lived in CA and San Fransico was an hour away from her. So she got up and disited she would go. She put on a victorine black dress that the skirt was like a tutu the top was a lace corcet and she let her long brown hair fall in its normal way of waves. She Did a smokey brown eye that maid her blue eyes pop. She put on some flats as she grabed her car keys and her cell phone ith her wallet.



She was soon in her car on her way to the club> about an hour later she gad parked and way looking at the bouncers to the clubshe pulled out her fack ID glad she had gotten it about a year ago. She took a deep breath and stroled up to the bouncers



"ID" one of the bouncers comanded. She handed it to him. He looked at it for a while as he was looking it over she looked him over. He was tall about 6'7 short hair and very pail for living in CA . The other guy was about the same but soon after he handed it back and noded her in. She smiled st him and both bounsers smiled back. It shocked her hat she saw.... Fangs. But she didnt stay and ent in. she odered a drink and drank it quick to calm her nerves.. She looked around and he eyes landed on one person a Tall guy She sa he was looking at her to. She got another drink and drank it more slowly as she finished a song she loved started to play so she went to the dace floor