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So anyone who knows me, knows that on my day off I have to get my chores done before I can completely relax. With that being said, one chore involved an everlasting adventure to the laundromat.



I randomly texted on my phone as I watched my clothes take their beating in the washer and then I remembered I had my MP3 player. I do love listening to music whenever I am doing random tasks and try to listen to my music as often as possible. With the clothes now taking a good spin in the dryer I watched everyone moving around doing their own laundry (it was a busy day). Then a song came on.. a song that simply was not going to let me stand still for another single moment.



And so the dance began. As usual I tried not to dance too much.. but sometimes when the music takes hold I simply cannot stay still. Of course, this resulted in many odd looks from other people (like I really care), but then I look down to see the little ones of the world. To my left was a little girl about 2 who smiled big and began twirling around to her own music. Amazingly, she was right in tune with what I was listening too. To my right was a little boy about 5 whose grin was as big as a piece of pie. He began rocking his body back and forth.



I love the fact that random things take hold of me in a moments notice. That I feel no shame in loving life and feeling free with not just my words.. but my actions and to know that all of it is appreciated by the most random people. Now the chores are complete and I am off of dive into some pizza and wings.. as well as turn into a vegetable. I do believe its a cucumber kind of day. Take care of yourselves on this glorious day and be careful as you ring in the new year.



Blessed is the soul capable of accepting who they are with no shame... Even more blessed is the soul knowing that it is through those positive actions that they can share their light with another~

Thoughts… hmm so many thoughts. Lately it seems as though my mind drifts so fast through the varied things in life, that have found myself blocked from my writing. So I have decided that perhaps it is time to leave something here in attempts to cleanse my mind of the many things.



First… The many different people that seem to consistently cross my path lately are astounding. There are ones seeking the knowledge that I contain, some looking to share a bit of new knowledge with me, and others wishing for the passions. To the ones seeking knowledge, I openly give you what you seek and hope so much that it helps guides you in the direction you need to travel. To the ones sharing, thank you so much for taking the time to give a bit of yourself to me. It is through shared knowledge that we become better.. stronger.. smarter and more loving individuals.



To the ones seeking passions the only thing I can say is careful where you tread, as you might not like what you get. For those that are open and fear not the passionate woman I say... my body is definitely in need of some wild pleasure, feel free to take as you wish. Yes, I can please myself, but oh my dear reader how I need something more. In time though that shall be.. after all anything worth while requires patience.



Finally is the lacking of words. Now that is a problem indeed. How I pride myself of being a keeper of words. The woman eager to share the mere syllables that drip from my drowning soul. The ability to share so much through ones writings is truly the greatest joy in my life. So now dear reader, I suppose you are wondering what the point of all this dribble is. The point is center. To center ones self by releasing all the confines the soul is definitely something that must occur. So here I sit… Cleansing my soul of the entire mindless dribble by spilling it out here, so that this eve when I lay my head to rest the sweetest of dreams shall arrive only to result in yet more wondrous writings for all to enjoy.



Blessed be is the soul with the ability to release the blocking thoughts into the writings of ages… Even more blessed is the soul that can relate to it~

What a trying last few weeks it has been. Days filled with endless job expectations, as well as personal inquisitions.



Most people generally stress during this time of year, but I am feeling nothing less but content and satisfaction. The Yule is fast approaching and I welcome it fully with open arms.



Since tonight is the celebrated Winter Solstice I have decided to spend the day relaxing and often drifting into the dancing flames of candles lit around the home. Nothing better than getting lost in the flicker of a flame and finding yourself sinking into a delicious thought.



Still, I cannot help but wish I had someone to shred with all the juicy cravings that dwell so deep within. Perhaps that will become a reality when the time is right. In the meantime, more writing is bound to find it way unto the pages of my journal.



Blessed is the soul with the ability to find themselves lost within the thought of bliss.. Even more blessed is the one that accepts those lost thoughts with open arms~

So yesterday was Friday the 13th. This day never has really ever bothered me, as I am not one of the superstitious type. With that being said.. let me share with you dear readers about the odd thing that happened to me.



Throughout the day multiple.. and I do mean multiple people would approach me thinking I was someone other than who I am. Every single one was convinced I was someone else. Now normally this never bothers me, as I think I just have one of those typical faces. Then again, most never really notice me at all. I tend to be a shadow among the crowd. This can be a good and a bad thing.



Back to my rambling.. the last occurrence happened towards the end of the night. One of the patients saw me pass by her door and instantly asked her nurse if I was a friend of hers (she mentioned a name but I did not hear it). The nurse replied, "No.. that is (my name)." The lady continued, convinced that she knew a relative of mine. So much so that I had to stop what I was doing to have a conversation about it. The nurse found it quite humorous.



I finally pulled myself away, but still the lady continued with how uncanny it was that I looked just like this friend of hers, or relative of a friend of hers. I finally stated as I was walking away that I had multiple people doing that to me today... thinking I was someone else. To which the woman replied.. "Then the one of your dreams must be searching for you. Perhaps he shall find you soon."



I stopped dead in my tracks and looked at the nurse. The nurse smiled knowing that I am single and said, "Well its about time because she could use a good loving." I simply shook my head and walked away. Needless to say all of this stuck with me.. and so new poetry was created in my journal. Oh what a day in the life of me.



Blessed is the soul with the ability to experience random moments of intrigue.. Even more blessed is the one that accepts them and welcomes them fully~

My body is weak and tatter as my soul is bruised, but alive in thoughts. Sometimes we believe ourselves to be quite sure in who we are. Convinced that we know our place within this ever changing world. That though our minds are may be open to new possibilities or knowledge, still in all actuality tend to close it off unknowingly. In turn, giving off the impression that we believe ourselves to be superior in some form. Convinced that we are so sure of what we know, that it tends to come off as a cockiness of sorts. That nobody… Nor no thing could ever touch us in a way that is unknown.



Well dear reader I am here to say right now, that this is something simply not true. In the wee hours of the morning this woman was tested. I was tested on my endurance… of my knowledge… of my will… my self control… and of my place within this ever changing journey. I was called out on my thoughts and experiences, and forced to place my truths upon the alters of existence. And do you know what was found within these truths my dears… quite simply this woman can be far too arrogant.



Through the tests of life I have learned that I am quite strong in some areas… and very weak in others. That all my rantings of being true to yourself, sometimes gets shadowed over by an overbearing form of superiority. That the thoughts of, "Yes this is known… or of course that has been done… or even quite simply as my life has been spent doing this for years." It is within these words that we lose focus of the truthfulness that lies within us. That though a way of living has been done the same way for years, there is always something new to experience… enjoy… and yes learn from.



I have never have thought of myself as someone who was better than another. In fact, have always had a firm belief that all are equal. That there is much to learn from others, and in turn much to teach as well. Well it seems that there are many things that were forgotten in the mind of this woman. Many things that I was so sure of, only to be shown that I had forgotten a few things. That through attempting to live my life in the way, that it quite simply was not always the best choice at all. Yes dear readers this woman was called out. Called out and shown the correct path from a strong reminder.

Perhaps this seems like babble for now as am running off very little sleep, but these are the thoughts that fill the mind. So as my soul rests… my body mends… my mind awakens this is to be said.



Blessed is the soul with the ability to show another who they truly are… Even more blessed is that enlightened soul that actually learns from it~

As I sit here staring out into the cold of the winters eve, my mind drifts into different realms.



I think about friends and loves that have come and gone throughout my life. Sweet giggles from girls.. and the long deep heated growls of a man. Its funny how quickly life tends to move around us. How one minute you can be dancing in a circle of friends.. then the next wondering how it is you managed to lose the love of your life.



I often speak of love and of passion.. mainly because it burns so deeply within me. The only problem is the few that I have truly loved.. the ones I gave myself to completely.. never really wanted me to begin with. Then I think about the ones that have loved me and wanted to hold me so tight that my breath ceased to exist. Those are the loves I run from.



The last few weeks have been a real test for me. A test of patience… of strong will… of love… of courage and a test of knowledge. Am not going to get into the details as there are too many thoughts that might just fill my journal to the point that it would never be able to be written in again. Sometimes it makes me wonder how it is that a soul can feel so much pain, but still continue onward. Why it is that I am needed to be tested countless times.



I know it is through these tests that I become stronger.. but sometimes I just want to break into a million pieces. Sadly enough, that would only create a mess as there would never be anyone there to clean it up. It has been a long day for this soul. Perhaps a little drink and some soothing music shall be needed in order to cleanse myself of the wicked.



Blessed be is the soul with the ability to remain strong even when weak… Even more blessed is the soul with the ability to share their strength through their weakness~

December is a wonder FULL month! Bright sunlight on glistening snow that fills us with magical wonder can turn into a blizzard, or to slushy, slippery roads that make our hearts leap into our throats! Yet we embrace this month of extreme changes.



The solstice will arrive, and we will renew the cycle of contemplation and new expectations. For many, this "winding down" of the old year encourages us to finish things we started and get our affairs in order. We look to the promise of the suns returning, of days getting longer, and new possibilities hovering on the horizon. We celebrate this renewal by getting together with family and friends and sharing our optimism for the coming year.



Sometimes the magic of December gets lost in a flurry of shopping, planning, and parties that have little to do with our religious beliefs, but we cant ignore the special feelings that pervade the spirit of the season during this magical month. It is the time of year that most strongly calls to us to remember our past and celebrate our future in tune with the cycles of nature. It can be harsh, but more often December nurtures our inner child to explore and embrace the hopes and possibilities of life ahead of us.



~Paniteowl~