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i am lonely

i need attention

my son does not know when to stop. he has been asking for a 4 wheeler. we told him not right now. we might try to get him one in the future but not now. well he kept on and on until he made 'dad' mad and now he is pissy. saying it is bullshit that he works his ass off all day to come home to being pestered by a disrespectful child who is in 'his' chair, playing 'his' ps3, and doing jack shit except being a brat.



i understand that he needs to listen. i understand that he is 8.



i also understand 'he' works hard. sometimes kids push too far but jee whiz. cant i get a break?



now 'he' is upset and not talking to me. acting like its the end of the world, like noone appreciates him. well join the club. i am a mom 24/7 and a maid 24/7 around here.plus i work too. its life, get over it.



*shaking fist*

this morning i was awoken to my chihuahua puking all over my bed. let me tell you, this is not fun. i cannot believe this is still going on. he has been sick off and on for the last 3 weeks. puking everywhere there is a spot that he has missed from the previous day. i dont have the money right now to take him to the vet. but i cant keep buying detergent every week either. dammit! i know he is old but wtf?

i can only hope income tax will come sooner than later. i guess i will continue to pray for my dog and my sanity.

well to day has been sucky.... as usual, i got in an argument with my daughter first thing this morning. was almost late for work. i am SO fucking sick of arguing. its every day now.

then, i had plans with a friend of mine but now i dont. her dog is being put to sleep and she doesnt want to hang out any more. i feel bad for her, i honestly do, but it would be better to get her mind off of it but instead she wants to break plans with me that we have had for over a month. i have tried to see her forever, but she told me that she couldnt bc she was too busy with school/girlfriend/band.....

this kid lived with me for almost a year in 2007 . her mom just left her with me to go on a drug binge with her boyfriend. i stood by her, and now she treats me this way. she never has time for our friendship any more.

i honestly care about her. she was like my own kid. i love her. it hurts me that she doesnt even think twice to hurt me. to put me last. to not care. i really hate this.

i really dont have many friends. now it seems like i have even less.......

today has sucked. i was awoken to my dog puking at 3 A.M. he kept me awake til after 4. then, the alarm for my hubby to go to work went off at 7. ggggrrrrr

so i could not go back to sleep so i smoked a lil to chill and enjoy the morning. then my son got up, sweet boy, we watched tv together, ate breakfast, went back into my room and got under the covers! lol my friend called , wanting me to come over, which its cold as shit and im tired as fuck but i have to take something to her so i said we would about 1230.got off the phone. back to the tv and son.



about 1030 my daughter got up, grumpy as usual, and got onto the bed with us. we were chilling together and i got really sleepy so i fell back asleep til 12.got up, got ready to go to the friends house. drove over, ate, smoked, daughter got attitude, as usual, came back home.

to clean, and do a lot of fucking laundry.... after the dog had puked on like 4 blankets, and then 2 regular loads ..... almost out of laundry detergent.....damn it....

the kids have been hungry all evening. they are lil piglets...lol munch munch munch

more laundry..... dog puked again.....gggrrrrr

the kids have been arguing, my daughter is really becoming a fucking bitch today. im sorry, but i am serious. i bend over backwards for her and she is an ingrate brat. yelling when she doesnt get her way. ggggggggrrrrrrrr

just found out my hubby is working late ..... ggggggrrrrrrrr wtf? i think i may go to bed. and soon. i cant believe what a waste of a day this has been. why cant they be good and just get along? why is that too much to ask?

*mumbling to self* nite

Well, today is Valentine's. It started out ok. Had a lil fun in the bedroom. We went out to eat, which was delicious. But when we were pulling into the parking lot, there was a loud noise from the front part of our car. We dont know what it could be but whenever you turn the wheel it pops loudly. when you push a lil on the gas, it gets insanely louder. it is SO embarrassing.

we went grocery shopping. my kids were bouncing off the walls and driving us crazy. lol typical. but it turned out my daughter bought the wrong book, so we had to drive all the way back to the store to exchange it. only they didnt have the one she wanted, so she pitched a big fit and gave me the silent treatment all the way home. wtf? i didnt even have to take her back to the fucking store. i could have just said, you should have looked, its your fault, deal with.

any way she finally got over it.

then we went to our cousins house, out in the woods. it was SO much fun. we rode the 4 wheeler and got muddy! it was so funny, bc the kids got scared bc he was driving it so fast and we were sliding in the wet leaves everywhere. it was GREAT!

then we went back to the store to get some tp. gotta have tp... LOL

any way we got back into the jeep and it kept acting like it was going to die every time we stopped at a red light. how weird.

so to sum up the day, it was ok but had some hardships. but we made it!



HAPPY VALENTINE"S !

8:46 pm.... well one child came home but the other wanted to stay at grandma's house so it has been a peaceful evening. had a great visit with my cousin, been watching bewitched, ate supper, smoked a lil, now im getting ready for bed. i know its early but i have been up since 6 am...............

Today has been alright. I am a lil sad. My children went to visit their real dad for the day, which always worries me. I feel lost without them. It is a nice break from their fighting,lol, but i truly miss them......

i have a scrapbooking class at 2pm, which isnt very long from now, so hopefully it will be a good day afterall. It is raining, and icing, and flurrying, which makes for a crappy outing...... oh well it can only get better right? and it wont be long til they are back..... just 4 hours to go.....lol