The sands of time ran out......03:55 Nov 21 2005
Times Read: 937
Last nite at 2am, my Grandfather passed away.
I knew this was coming.....
For the last two years, my Grandfather was forced to live with my Parents due to failing health. In the last month, his health quickly declined.
He was confined to his wheelchair, his mind wandered, and saw things that were not there. My Father, under Doctor's advice, ended his Dialysis because the treatments no longer were effective.
A group of Medical Techs from the local Hospis were brought in, to ease my Grandfather's pain until the end, which everyone said would be soon.
I recieved the call at 11am this morning. My Father said My Grandfather went peacefully during the night. I could tell thru my Father voice that he was crushed, despite his calm demeanor.
I'm heading down to Florida this tuesday to help with arrangements. The Service will be later in the week.
I hope I can remain strong thru all this.......
Update: 11/25/2005:
Had the memorial service today.....
Since my Grandfather moved to Florida, very few of his surviving friends could make it. We most got phone calls and letters conveying their condolences..... The people that did come were mostly my family here for Thanksgiving or my Parents neighbors.
The Holidays were a quiet affair this year, because of my Grandfather's passing. Alot of us, weren't in the mood to celebrate Turkey Day, and there was sadness in the air during the entire day.
I'm staying for a few more days to help if I can, then I heading back home...... Hopefully I can return to some form of normality then.
My hardest decision....04:32 Nov 14 2005
Times Read: 962
I just sent an E-mail to the person I love.
I told her how I feel about her, and said Good-bye.
I almost broken down and cried as I was writing it... Their wasn't any appropiate words to express what I wanted, but it came close to what I needed to say.
I wish things could be different, and she would feel the same way for me, but sometimes Life doesn't go the way we want, and we are faced with disappointment.
I hope she finds happiness in her life.
A Year in Heaven, Hell, and Limbo…
21:07 Nov 10 2005
Times Read: 970
Another year has passed,
and it was a very turbulent cycle in my life.
It’s time for me to look back,
and take stock of what my life has become.
I finally learned what Love was,
and what it meant to be truly happy.
I learned to trust someone,
and to what it means to care about someone else.
I felt joy, and happiness in my soul,
and I felt confidence in myself.
and for the first time in thirty years,
I found peace.
And just when I thought,
that everything was perfect,
and that my life was on the right track…
everything was taken away.
My heart was torn out,
a knife was plunged into my back,
and everything I had,
had disappeared in the blink of an eye.
I had lost everything,
my happiness,
my confidence,
and even my reason to live.
I stared into the abyss,
and was ready to jump in.
But then a caring hand,
pulled me back from the ledge.
She held my hand,
and gave me a shoulder to cry on.
She healed my heart,
when it had been broken into a million pieces.
Because of a dear friend,
I found my faith again.
And she gave the strength,
to move on with my life.
But change is the only constant,
and that friendship had to end.
Not because she isn’t my friend anymore…
but because I care for her too much.
But the feelings I have for her,
are not reflected by her,
and I can’t sit and watch,
as she is with someone else.
Even though she is happy,
It would tear me up inside,
so I have to walk away,
No matter how much it hurts.
In this past year,
I learned how to love,
I felt betrayal,
I faced death and still survived.
I found my humility,
I healed with the help of a friend,
and I also learned sacrifice.
But I also leaned the most valuable lesson of all.
I learned that I can survive anything,
and the wisdom I gained,
will guide me through the future.
I hope it will be a brighter tomorrow.
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