Honor: 0 [ Give / Take ]
23 entries this month
02:52 Apr 30 2008
Times Read: 621
As some know here on VR my father passed away recently. So I've been away and not as active for the past few days as I normally am. I'll return completely after this weekend.
But on a better note, I was finally able to meet a fellow member of the VR community this past nighte. Though he and I had discussed being able to meet, it was completely random and unexpected that we finally did meet. But I must confess that with it catching me off guard at the wrong point I felt out of myself. I can more then promise my reaction and demeanor was not that of the normal me. And that slightly bothers me.
09:46 Apr 28 2008
Times Read: 638
Teh Frenzy! En't she cute?!
More of teh Frenzy! Only this time, she's duh Dragon Queen...as she rightfully is!
16:55 Apr 23 2008
Times Read: 654
Betrayal hurts. But it stays and stings when it's from two people you love.
I just don't understand why he couldn't have told me it was about you when I asked who the journal was written about. It would hurt a lot less.
But it makes me think, why can't someone write sweet nothings about me?
03:05 Apr 21 2008
Times Read: 670
And so it begins...
*evil giggle*
21:49 Apr 20 2008
Times Read: 677
VR hiatus is ended. Now it's time to get cracking on my rise to Sire and the work that needs to be done within the Coven walls.
*curses SA*
What happened to us?
21:42 Apr 20 2008
Times Read: 681
-I smoke too many cigarettes.
-I drink way too much Arizona Sweet Tea.
-I like vodka and tequila more then I should.
-I listen to far too much music.
-I read more then the average person...and tend to believe everything I read.
-I paint my nails white because you paint yours black.
-I trust too many people with my heart.
-I look for love in all the wrong places...and enjoy it.
-I think sex is far more then the idea of pleasure.
-I sometimes hope for drama so my life is more interesting.
But without these things. Life just isn't any good.
01:48 Apr 20 2008
Times Read: 686
I've gone on a complete anatomy binge. Anything and everything that has to do with the anatomy of all strikes my fancy right now. I've just spent the better part of the last few hours reading the "Gray's Anatomy" book I have. And browsing through the lovely site of www.deviantart.com finding amazing technical drawings and other anatomy figures of the sort.
Why this strikes my fancy right now I have no clue. It just looks so beautiful. The lines of the muscles, the dull roundness to the bones. The structure and how everything works together. Gah, I'm getting excited just thinking about it. (and not in that way you perverts!)
*Goes back to reading and looking through art*
07:11 Apr 18 2008
Times Read: 697
To my dearest Melted Ruby;
You've done nothing but been sweet to me. I'm glad I ignored warnings to avoid you and beware of you're "other-worldly capabilities". Whatever you maybe, doesn't matter to me. I'm happy that we're friends. And in the short time of knowing you, you've helped me with a lot.
Especially within the last few hours. You gave me the courage to confront a fear to contact someone. You calmed me when I panicked about what she might say back. You listened to my problems that were sending me to hell in a hand basket faster then I could say jump. you gave me hope that what I wanted and am determined to get will work.
I thank you for this, and I love you to every ounce of every possible everything. We truly do function on a plane that is far beyond what we could/might/or actually are.
Forever Thankful;
The Ebbing Emerald.
16:15 Apr 16 2008
Times Read: 703
Se eu disse-lhe um segredo. Pode mantê-la?
Mijn geheim is dat, ik ben in de liefde.
Con chi si chiede?
Un garçon d'une région lointaine, cachée dans les montagnes enneigées.
Ist er die Liebe zu mir?
A veces sí ya veces no.
Eu quero casar com ele. Para estar com ele para o resto da minha vida.
Si seulement les rêves peuvent devenir réalité.
01:16 Apr 16 2008
Times Read: 705
You're my hunnybun, sugarplum,
pumpie-umpie-umpkin, you're my sweetie-pie,
you're cuppy-cake,gum-drop, snukkum-snukkum
snort, the apple of my eye, and I love you so
and I want you to know that ill always be right here
and I love to sing these songs to you because
you are so dear.
18:58 Apr 15 2008
Times Read: 714
Alright it's time for my VR hiatus. I don't want to leave VR for good, so I'm taking a break. I'll be back once or twice. But you won't see me. After this entry I'm turning the lurking option on and it'll be on for as long as it takes. I can't set a date to this hiatus. There's too much bothering within the walls of VR to determine the time frame.
Leave messages, leave journal comments. I'll check the Coven here and there. But mostly I won't be here. You all wear me out. So I need to get away.
05:58 Apr 15 2008
Times Read: 725
Sometimes I wonder;
What would happen if I posted my phone number in my journal?
Would I actually get calls? Would I receive text messages from people with outlandish comments contained in them?
I mean, yes certain people I've met over the internet have my phone number. But those are people that I've had extensive online conversation with.
I know, the babble babble bitch bitch blah blah blah that most will say after they read this. It's unsafe to do such a dangerous thing as give out your phone number in a public arena on the internet. You never know who could find it. But don't we run the risk of people (anyone) finding us here on the internet.
I think it would be interesting to see what response came of it. To see who would actually think it's real and would dare to actually call or text.
I guess I'm just a rabble-rouser and like to stir the pot to see what trouble I can land myself in and then squirm out of in the nick of time.
EDIT: Please realize I have no intention of actually doing this. I was just thinking outloud.
04:50 Apr 15 2008
Times Read: 729
mcl♥
16:49 Apr 14 2008
Times Read: 742
Opinions are greatly desired.
Should I reopen my portfolio?
And if so, should I fill it with;
1. Pictures of myself.
2. Pictures of myself and friends.
3. My photography.
4. A mix of the previous.
Leave a comment with your response. Please and thank you.
04:29 Apr 14 2008
Times Read: 756
I can write this and not worry, for the simple fact that who it's about seems to never read my journal.
I find it completely strange. Now that you have me, you barely talk to me. It seems before you were more concerned with me then now. Almost like you no longer have to impress me. Which you never had to impress me to begin with. It feels like you cared more when I wasn't yours then now that I am.
What happened? Did you just figure that now you don't have to worry as much? You don't have to be concerned?
It bothers me. A lot. Beyond comprehension. And the fact is you won't even read this.
21:42 Apr 13 2008
Times Read: 762
T-minus: reality check.
I hate when dreams seem tangible. It happens anytime I actually get a decent amount of sleep that isn't interrupted by a night terror. Which is the account for this past night.
A dark hallway. A sense of being lost and forgotten. Stinging tears and an aching pain in my chest. The sudden clamour of someone running. An ear piercing scream so loud it could shake the stars from the sky. A sudden movement. The chill of cold skin touching me. Wind rushing suddenly as I'm turned. Feverish wanting. A hard kiss. Teeth against my bottom lip, pulling. A slight tear, and a metallic taste. Gasping, followed by release...
And awaking in a cold sweat with tears stinging my eyes and that aching pain in my chest.
14:19 Apr 07 2008
Times Read: 776
Damn, I'm such a lazy-ass today. I woke up at 8:00 [am] and have done nothing but sit on my computer. I have class at 11:00 [am] that goes till 5:00 [pm]. Which I'm definitely dreading. I haven't had a full day of class since high school. Hopefully someone texts me and keeps me entertained. Maybe I'll just hop on AIM on my phone. Who knows. But I really need to stop being lazy and get ready for class. Damnit!
15:57 Apr 06 2008
Times Read: 784
Good companionship is hard to come across in the real world let alone online. But I have been lucky and found a ever so caring person to call a companion to my life.You know who you are and I thank you so so so much.
02:21 Apr 06 2008
Times Read: 792
A cry for help, that echoes out of the dead of night.
Pleading for something no one can offer.
Ignorance of the mind blows through the air.
Tears fall from eyes too bloodshot to see.
And the cry echoes through the dark to only fall on deaf ears.
01:47 Apr 06 2008
Times Read: 793
So I know I've been away for a couple of days. I needed a hiatus from the internet. Needed to join the living real world for a short time. Which was problem not the best idea in the world. But I survived my adventure into it and don't plan to enter it again for a good while.
Monday marks the beginning of a new College semester for me. Oh! joi! But after the ten grueling weeks of class and studying, I have a glorious nine weeks off.
My new medication is seriously wearing me down. I don't know if it's a side effect or if it's just me adjusting. But it needs to stop either way. It's killing me.
16:34 Apr 03 2008
Times Read: 813
So I've come to the conclusion that holding grudges and disliking someone over the internet is completely pointless. So what if they lied? So what if they pretend? Isn't that the beauty of the internet? It gives you something to hide behind. Something to hide the real you, so you can be anything you want. [This isn't directed at a single person, it's general].
I've waged wars online over trivial bullshit as such mentioned above. And in the process lost great people. Which thankfully some were reconciled. Some may be lost to the interweb completely. But such is life.
The moral of the story is that, I don't hold grudges and dislike people that I disliked before. It's time to start fresh for me. [See previous entry beginning]. If you've wronged me and wish to repent, you're forgiven. If I've wronged you in some way, I'm sorry.
As Fretters and I say,
"Make cupcakes; Not war."
Cheerio!
16:16 Apr 03 2008
Times Read: 816
So I'm not "dying". Good to hear. All medical results came back half way decent. Nothing completely life threatening, not completely curable, but treatable. So I start new medication. What a joi to get adjusted to it.
Today should be interesting. OCD has kicked in and I'm going on a cleaning binge after this journal entry. Which I guess isn't such a bad thing considering I'm hosting my friends 21st birthday in my basement tonighte. Hurray for a big group of belligerent drunks!
Wish me luck.
16:58 Apr 01 2008
Times Read: 834
I almost feel that my stay here in VR has been in vain. Almost pointless. Yes I have gained friends. But once again things are slowly slipping apart. Not the point blank fault of any one person, just generally. I've been on VR since close to the beginning. Though not with the same user name. I've created and deleted three on my own will and one was deleted by fault of something not my own. So I returned for a fifth time. And here I sit typing this out. VR has changed drastically. Not all for the bad but not all for the good. I love the "home" I have here. But it's beginning to feel only like a shelter, something to pass the ticking minutes in the day.
It makes me wonder from time to time, how many people would actually be upset to see me go? One or two? Maybe a group of more then ten? I don't know and I suppose to would take me leaving to find out. But I'm not quite sure if I'm ready to call checkmate on this game of chess.
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