It's been awhile since I wrote in here. There have been alot of changes here and a few "real" time.
I have been rescued by the Coven of the Guardian Wolf and can't ask for a better place to be! The CM, xtremehate is a wonderful caring man and the coven, though small is a close knit loving group of people!
After my last experience in a coven a much needed respit and soothing place for my tattered soul.
My daughter missydarkfantasy and I are both there and doing great. My CM entrusted me with the position of Newsmaster soon after my arrival and am doing my damnedest to live up to his expectations!
I know those of us that have been through what was a totally unecessary experience here on the Rave, are rebuilding shattered trust and moving on. For the most part we are all staying close in spirit and friendship.
My "real" time world is still taking hits from my stalker ex from hell and ! have been trying to stay upbeat and sane. It is hard sometimes to always have to watch over your shoulder when you go out anywhere and wonder if he is there!
So if at times I get weird, please just forgive me for it.
This was once the place I came to escape the unpleasant reality that is my life in "real" time. I came here for the quiet and sometimes hilarious times I shared with all my friends and any I ran across in the course of the day or evening.
The Rave was my peace and my joy!
That all came to a crashing halt recently through no fault of my own or those of my Coven Mates. Things began to happen that were beyond understanding and what was once a beautiful thing of friendship and trust became a hell of distrust and fear!
I have learned unfortunately that there are no truely "safe" places anywhere be it here or the "real" world and that has taken a little something away from my time on the Rave.
For all the bad that happened some good must as always rise out of the ashes like the Phoenix.
I have found a home in the Coven of the Guardian Wolf thanks to the caring of a great friend and wise man! To you xtremehate (what a misnomer that is!) I say thank you for rescuing my daughter and friends and releasing those that had other places to be! Truely that was a sign of great compassion!
I am looking forward to staying in close contact with all of my previous covenmates and hope that we can all heal and recover the joy we all had for the Rave!
I just wanted to let all my friends out there know how much you mean to me. This may "just" be virtual world, but you all mean somthing to me!
Since I posted my entry on what has been ongoing in my life so many of you have stopped to just say I love you and care about you and I am here for you anytime!
There were those of you that took time out of your busy day here on the rave to talk to me and show me that you cared about what was happening and to share your time with me!
There was one of you that spent hours of his time talking to me and pulling me out of what was probably the worst time of my life. He kept me from making a huge and irrevocable mistake!
To you I give profound thanks and love for you for being there throughout the whole ordeal!
To ALL of my friends I say thank you for caring!
I know I have done some things that make people wonder if I am quite sane. (even for me) I apologize to all for these things!
I am dealing with some craziness that just seems to keep escalating and feel like I am slipping away a little more everyday.
I was with a VERY abusive man for a long time and had to move and change phone numbers too many times to count. I have not actually phyiscally lived with him for 3 years and he has been stalking me ever since.
He drives by my place and calls from phones all over continually and calls me filthy names, but he "loves" me!! He actually cornered me when I was on a break at work last week smoking outside. I thought I was gonna die!
It seems to be escalating and I made the life shattering realization that he is never, ever gonna go away! He will always come after me.
He is a nut case from hell. I wish I knew what to do!
I have done everything possible to stop him. I have had 4 restraining orders on him at various times (they are worth the paper they are written! NOTHING) He beat the crap outta me when I had one on him at the time! I have had him in jail, he has gone through anger management 3 times.
So I apologize for my craziness at times. I think he is slowly but surely driving me nuts!
I thank the gods everyday I found the Rave. Some of you out there have helped me keep my sanity more than you know, just by making me laugh through the tears or talking to me no matter how weird I seem!
So to you that are my friends here I say thank you for being there for me!
Didn't mean to rant, but have a hard time talking about it! I figure not many people read this and prob friends will if I tell them tol lol
The official symbol of summers end has now come and gone! I am sittiing here wondering where the summer has gone?
I have had some life altering events happen over the course of the summer and dealing with them has comsumed a great portion of the time.
Still though, it seems that summer is waited for so much expectation, then it is here and gone before you know it!
Now comes the time of the earth slowing and readying itself for the long sleep of winter. You can feel the slowing as it occurs.
I begin to shift my inner balance in response to the slowing of the earth and ready myself for the longer darkness of the fall months.
Ach just a little wandering moment from my brain!
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