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ITS 12:58 AM OVER HERE WHERE I STAY, I'M NOT QUITE SLEEPY JUST YET. PROBABLY GOING TO HAVE A SMOKE BEFORE BED. DIDN'T REALLY DO MUCH TODAY. JUST BEEN ON VACATION FROM WORK AND ITS SO GREAT TO FINALLY REST, BUT ITS HORRID NOT FINDING IT. ITS TERRIBLE...



I HAVEN'T HAD A DECENT REST IN AWHILE, GETTING IRRITATED BY IT. BUT OTHER THEN THE NONE RESTING ME, THE SUMMER TIME NIGHTS IS SOMETHING I ALWAYS LOOK FORWARD TO BY THE END OF THE DAY. I JUST GO OUTSIDE AND ENJOY THE WINDS THAT BLOW, NOT TO HOT.. AND NOT TO COLD, JUST RIGHT.



ESPECIALLY ENJOYING IT WITH PEOPLE THAT TRULY MATTER TO ME. ITS GREAT.



THIS PAST SUNDAY HAD A SHOW, IT WENT PERFECTLY. GOT A GREAT STANDING OVATION.. MADE ME FEEL SO DAMN DEVIOUS :D

I HAD A LOT OF GORGEOUS CHERRY BOMBS AND HANDSOME DEVILS WATCH ME ROAR. ME AND THE REST OF THE GANG WAS SO VERY EXCITED AND AMAZED ON HOW MANY PEOPLE SHOWED UP...



SAW SOMEBODY THERE I WAS WAITING TO SEE. GOT ME FULL OF GOOSE BUMPS OR WHAT NOT. (SIGH) BUT I DON'T KNOW..



WE CELEBRATED AFTER THE SHOW. GOT SHIT FACED AND WAS VERY EMOTIONALLY DURING MY CELEBRATION. I GOTTA TELL YA, IT SUCKS WHEN YOU GOT SO MUCH ON YOUR MIND AND YOU LET EVERYTHING OUT WHEN THE ALCOHOL GOES RUNNING THROUGH YOUR SYSTEM...



WHICH IS VERY RARE FOR ME TO CRY WHEN I DRINK, BUT ITS LIKE OH MAN... WHY ME?! I NORMALLY JUST HAVE FUN AND JUST PARTY. BUT NOT THIS TIME.



I HAVE A MAJOR HEADACHE AND IT ISN'T GOING AWAY :( I NEED A GOOD HEAD MASSAGE HAHA...



OR MAYBE ITS JUST NICO (NICOTINE) CALLING FOR MY ATTENTION HAHA

ITS FUNNY, THERE WAS DAYS UPON DAYS

WONDERING WHERE HE WAS AT. IF HE

WAS OKAY, WAS HE SAFE? THAT' ALL I WOULD

THINK ABOUT.



THINKING TO IF HE WAS THINKING OF ME

IF HE LOVED ME AND CARED FOR ME AND

ONLY ME. ITS IFS IFS IFS IFS, YOU COULD

NEVER LIVE OFF THAT WORD.



ITS MOST DEADLY.











WHEN I CALLED HIM TO TELL HIM HOW MUCH

I CARED, WHEN I CALLED HIM TO TELL HIM

HOW MUCH I MISS HIM. TO LET HIM KNOW I

WILL ALWAYS BE HERE FOR HIM.



BUT I NEVER GOT BACK AN ANSWER.



I WANTED TO HELP.

I GUESS IT ISN'T SO GREAT TRYING TO BE

THE HERO ALL THE TIME..



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