Words
I'm empty inside
So cold in my mind
Dieing to find
Something
I don't know what
As everything falls apart
I don't know where to start
I just hide within myself
Along with all the things I felt
I'm making it alright. I'm ok.
You said I'm happier this way.
But if this is happy, I'd hate to be sad.
Alone in my mind
with shards of my pride
I'm done. I tried.
I'm cold, and I feel so old.
Where do I go?
What do I say?
Would not matter anyway.
It can't be the same
Words cut the deepest
Darkside
Scouring light can clean deep from outside
it doesn't reach far enough to find the darkside
Of me. Inside of me. Following me
Wherever I go my only goal to be free
from this shadow within embracing me
Away from the light
I hide my darkside
Away from my sight
Neglected it treads
A shadow connected
To me by threads
Burn away the taint
Burn the saint I've never been
A collection of shadowy threads
I can't cut. I can't burn away that part of me
Always there. Always near. Always hidden
From others so that I can pretend
I have no shadow within dragging me
Away from the light
I hide my darkside
Away from your sight
Neglected it treads
A shadow connected
To me by threads
Burn away the taint
Burn the saint I've never been
Lost
Happiness escapes again
It slips through my hands
The dissappointment
Dulling bright
Reminds me of darkest night
Help me try
Help me try to stand
Memories they fill my head
Dredging back the things I dread
Numbing pain
Burning bright
A beacon of searing light
Help me find
Help me find dry land
Everything hits home and then
Everything has changed again
Nothing stays the same but
The the pain doesn't end
Where are you
To see me through
Hold my hand
Because without you
I am lost
I don't know who I am
MY INSANITY
Every day when I wake up, for a moment
I can forget all the conflict of the past,
for a brief second I am only in the present
I am not scarred by my previous battles;
for every day I am awake, I feel it
a sickness in my soul, eating away
I carry it in my chest, this plague
sits calmly while it crumbles my resolves
it tears down every euphoria, every triumph
and in its wake leaves a gaping hole.
this invisible cancer
has slowly removed slices of my consciousness
I am aware of it, as it wreaks its havoc
and leaves me with nothing but empty thoughts.
my soul is covered in dust from lack of polishing
I have no use for it, no reason to let it out
its cage is kept locked, the key's whereabouts unknown
but I keep it in my chest,
waiting for a day when I will be able to
relinquish my dreams to a beholder and let them grow,
maybe I will have use for my soul,
my tired, scarred soul, so tarnished and flat,
maybe I will be awake again to the world,
and live outside my confined mind.
The Beast
Can you see it?
This anger burning inside of me
I feel it freely flow in me
Boiling blood through my body
caged hell within my mind
the ecstasy of this agony
Destroying me
Clench my teeth through this pain
Nothing to lose nothing to gain
Live or die it's all the same
Hurt me now it's all the rage
Toss me back in my cage
Measure me against your gauge
Put me back in your maze
Smother me don't let me breath
Now remind me who would grieve
Burned beneath my skin
pressure's rising and I'm giving in
to the demons raging deep within
becoming something I've never been
clinging desperately to threads of sanity
my reality warped and breaking
all alone on this path I'm taking
Enter this beast of torment
Flying on broken wings
Fear of another tomorrow
Fear of another week
Of tired lies and double speak
If you die I will not weap
Promises come in torrents
From corrupt men of all things
All hail who fight tomorrow
Watch as they crush the weak
MOONLIFE
Darkness surrounds my broken form.
Void and shadow are my eyes.
Ether and nothing make me whole.
I am the noise in the night.
I am the monster under the bed.
I am the darkness and fear in your head.
Your perception makes me strong.
Your fear will feed me long.
Screams and terror are my song.
Sing for me my sanguine prey.
Feasting, feeding, my nocturnal day.
Coffins and ash comprise my home,
resting quiet among the bones.
Seplucher of ages here I rot,
The aincient, that time forgot.
I know your name, I know your soul.
Find me, my darkness, in my hole.
You sought me out, you found my lair.
Lie with me, forget your cares.
Die in my embrace, give your life to me.
Slave to the darkness, together see.
Evening tide will rise again.
And in the moonlife we will dance.
Flames
I stare into the flames
Of my world
I can do nothing and
It falls down
I accept the blame
Cast on me
Dwelling in the past
To feel the pain
At night I close my eyes
And pray for silence in my mind
In stray thoughts and memories
And dreams of beauty she comes
Arms welcoming
Smile assuring
Eyes deceiving
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